Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

First food!

(49 Posts)

So not sure if I'm being petty today... but dd is just give months old and it was her christening today. We had some people to the house after the service and had a buffet etc. family and friends also brought food. DH's aunt came and also brought her cousin who happened to be visiting at the time (saw no problem at the time even though I didn't know her).

So people are chatting and eating and having a nice time, dd bein passed around, relatives showing her off...and I look round again and long lost cousin has dd on her knee feeding her meringues and whipped cream! I jumped towards her at once. DD is five months old, not quite at weaning stage and breast fed withthe occasional bottle (but that has been a nightmare as she seems to be allergic to something and will only drink soya formula).

According to DH's aunt I was rude to my guest and what was wrong with allowing dd to celebrate?! I explained all of the above and said cousin then informed me that SHE didn't believe in 'any of that nonsense'. I was furious.

Was I being unreasonable? They left soon after. Most of the family know not to give her food - she doesn't need it yet. Her older brother was weaned at 5.5 months, so I know she's not that far away....but meringu and cream for her first taste of food?! Really?!

aargh! she's five months old- should have proof read!

Actually I think the aunt is the fucking rude one for bringing along an uninvited guest. Who was also rude. YANBU.

eggs and dairy - not the best first foods especially if she only takes soya formula. YANBU

MalcolmTuckersMum Sat 27-Jul-13 22:00:23

Probably not ideal no, but since it's done there's not a whole lot you can do now so no point agonising about it!

5madthings Sat 27-Jul-13 22:01:19

Yanbu who takes it upon themselves to feed a baby they dont know!!!

And cream and merangue is not ideal esp if she has issurs with dairy.

Rude to bring annuninvited person and then they were both rude and unreasonable for dismisding your concrrns over feeding your dd.

fakebook Sat 27-Jul-13 22:02:49

I wouldn't have cared tbh, if it had been a close family member like a brother/sister/grandparents...but a long lost cousin who doesn't know she's lactose intolerant? I wouldn't have flipped but just calmly taken dd away and made sure she didn't pick her up again. How were you rude? Did you shout?

FirstStopCafe Sat 27-Jul-13 22:05:13

YANBU.

I didn't think I was rude....more shocked really and now annoyed. I probably grabbed dd away rather quickly from her and then tried to get stuff out of her mouth. Didn't look great and spoiled an otherwise lovely day.

As an aside, I wanted to be the first one to feed her solids.

Thurlow Sat 27-Jul-13 22:06:44

It's incredibly annoying, but sometimes I don't know whether older generations have just forgotten what weaning was like or whether it really was different. DM was the same - "ooh, would she like a lick of custard from my donut?"

Did she know that your DD isn't yet weaned and hasn't tried any/much food? If she didn't know that, then she wouldn't know how big a deal this was to you.

YANBU to be annoyed by this, but I think in the wider scheme of things it fits into the 'don't sweat the small stuff' - it's not ideal, but it's done now and first tastes don't have an impact on what they end up eating, as there's a good chance it will be another few months before your DD really gets the hang of food.

pianodoodle Sat 27-Jul-13 22:20:59

YANBU I was at a birthday picnic this week and one of the mums I'd only met recently asked did I mind watching her 5 month old while she went to the toilets.

While she was gone the baby was reaching out for my banana and as tempting as it was to let her try a bit I didn't because I hadn't seen her eat any picnic food and didn't know if mum had started weaning yet.

I would always check first "can he/she have this?" when they're so young it just seems sensible and polite to me.

Whether I agree or not with how they feed their child isn't the point - it's their decision!

OHforDUCKScake Sat 27-Jul-13 22:25:48

I have a baby who nearly died at 5 months old because I fed him yoghurt(bf until then) and he went into anaphylactic shock

YANBU.

Fucking hate it when its considered 'nonsense'.

Yanbu. Granted some kids do crawl off or somehow get hold of less than ideal foods and no harm done. BUT a five month old baby? You would have to be an idiot to go feeding a baby that small anything at all ( in the sense of not knowing baby is on solids) let alone whipped cream and meringues.

Dorris83 Sat 27-Jul-13 22:33:25

YANBU I would go NUTS if anyone fed my DS before DH and I decided to introduce him to solids.

We are really looking forward to giving him his first solids and are already thinking about what his first foods should be. i would be livid if someone gave him anything I didn't agree with.

I am unashamedly pfb but don't care. Both your aunt an long lost cousins were totally out of order and I'm impressed you were so calm.

Thurlow Sat 27-Jul-13 22:35:40

Sorry, I have to disagree with being "an idiot" for not knowing a 5.5mo isn't weaned yet. Guidelines change all the time. A while ago, guidelines were for weaning at 4mo. If you have a kid who is now older, you're not going to be reading up on the guidelines for babies, are you? Why should you suddenly know that 5.5mo babies are now no longer weaned, when yours were weaned at that age?

Not saying it was right to feed the OP's baby these particular foods but, really, does everyone actually expect people to know every little thing that they know?

She was a long lost cousin who probably had no idea probably how old the baby was. Of course it's idiotic to go feeding a small baby two of the most allergenic foods ever. You do not go feeding small babies anything. It's not hard to figure that out no matter what guide lines someone followed 40/50 years ago.

scoobydooagain Sat 27-Jul-13 22:40:52

Soya formula at 5 mths? Hope that is done under a paediatrician.

5madthings Sat 27-Jul-13 22:43:17

thurlow the guidelines changed in 2000, my eldest is almost fourteen and even when he was a baby the advice was 4-6mths but best to wait till 6mths and by the time I had ds2 two years later it was 6mths.

People say the advice changes all the time but it doesn't.

The point is the cousin didn't know the op or her baby and had no right to take it upon herself to feed her. Seriously who feeds a baby they don't know and have only just met?!

karinmaria Sat 27-Jul-13 22:48:02

YANBU.

The guidelines make no difference. A baby that young should not be given anything unless it is checked by the parents first, and this goes for children up to the age of speaking so they can say 'I can't have that, I'm allergic'.

Extremely rude of your cousin to just feed your baby and then be indignant.

littlewhitebag Sat 27-Jul-13 22:49:16

mine were born in the 90's, weaning started at 3 months then. A liitle bit of meringue and cream will do her no harm. Really, truly she will be fine

Thurlow Sat 27-Jul-13 22:50:51

And that was 14 years ago. We're possibly talking about an aunt who weaned 20-30 years ago, and a cousin who hasn't weaned yet. Should they be fully up to date with the guidelines? Maybe they aren't MNetters...

Like I said, I'm not saying it wasn't something the OP should be upset about. But people don't automatically now everything.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sat 27-Jul-13 22:52:33

Guidelines don't change all the time. Even if you have no clue why would you be feeding someone else's baby without asking anyway.

If you think she has an allergy/intolerance you should see a doctor. Ds1 is lactose intolerant and had other intolerances that were picked up by the specialist.

HooverFairy Sat 27-Jul-13 22:52:52

YANBU, I'd have been furious. I found that a lot of friends/family tried to get me to agree to DS having solids before he was 5 months and it really annoyed me. I wanted to take things slowly to check for allergies etc, luckily no one took it upon themselves to feed him anything (that I know of!).

Yes, people can be forgiven for not knowing what age a baby is weaned at, they can also be forgiven for thinking that certain 'unsafe' foods are ok. But there is no excuse for offering a child food without checking with the parent first, especially a baby. Not only was it putting the child at risk because of her allergies, it was also taking away a moment that you wanted to experience first. And yes, anyone who plans on doing anything with my baby must know everything that I do - PFB, absolutely.

5madthings Sat 27-Jul-13 22:53:17

No she may not know about warning, even more reason not to give food to a baby she doesn't even know! Why would you take it upon yourself to feed a baby who you have never even met before?!

DoItTooJulia Sat 27-Jul-13 22:55:41

But if they aren't up to date with the guidelines that's an even more compelling reason not to feed a baby....because they don't know! Who thinks, oh I don't know if this is ok or not. So I will do it anyway?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now