IHBU not to go to the police?

(32 Posts)
deadduck Sat 27-Jul-13 17:30:41

My daughter (nearly 18) and her boyfriend walked home from the pub last night in a normally reasonably safe suburban area, when they encountered a group of local lads who started taunting them. My daughter's boyfriend is 19 and currently on crutches due to a broken foot. They tried to ignore them, but the lads crossed the road, and one of them, clearly off his head with something nasty, started beating up my daughter's boyfriend, took his crutches away and thumped him round the head, splitting his lip. He then held his fist in my daughter's face, threatening to punch her and beat her up too. Eventually they moved on, and the two were left shaken, with my daughter calling 999. Police came and offered them a lift home (3 minutes walk from where they were), and my daughter said she would much prefer it if they tried to catch whoever did that to them. Police kind of shrugged it off. No proper statement taken or anything.
This morning, boyfriend had to go to hospital due to bad headaches, was given an MRI scan and told he has fluid in his ear. They were going to go back to the police to report the whole thing properly (they know the name of the guy who did the beating), but boyfriend changed his mind, due to fear of repercussions. My daughter and I still thinks it should be reported, but he his adamant. I am furious that a) the police last night was so nonchalant about what clearly was assault, and b) that weak coward bully pig that beats up and threatens girls and men on crutches will get away with it. Turns out he's actually a former student of my husband's, and has always been trouble and well known to the police even when at school.
Should they go back to the police ? Can they do anything to protect themselves? As far as I know, gang won't know where we or the boyfriend live, but it's a small world around here and they could find out.

eyebrowsfurrowed Sat 27-Jul-13 22:59:32

if it's reported someone was watching and decided to contact the police. they had nothing to do with reporting it...

deadduck Sat 27-Jul-13 23:52:00

Thanks all for your responses, and thanks Plomino, it was particularly helpful to hear from a police officer (I take it you are one?). I am going to show this thread to my daughter and her boyfriend in the morning, and it will hopefully help them to reach a decision on whether to report. I have changed my mind somewhat and am currently leaning towards not to.

AgentZigzag Sun 28-Jul-13 00:07:10

You'd like your DD to report and you can understand why someone wouldn't Plomino, but with your parents hat on but still with the knowledge of your job, would you trust everything to turn out OK for your DD and it not make matters worse?

Sorry if that's pushing you on it grin But I get the feeling you're answering as someone from the police, who's taking an outsider view of what (what you've been trained to say?) should be done.

Stats/govt/policy/what the scrote gets up to in the future, wouldn't figure in my reckoning of it though.

You have experience of the realistic outcomes of seeing this happen before through an objective lens with your job, but this would be dominated by your emotional response as a parent, so would you go out of your way to encourage your DD go back to the police?

Plomino Sun 28-Jul-13 00:16:17

I have actually been in this scenario . Twice , with the same DS . Once he got punched by an apparent friend , once someone random took a dislike to him after he intervened in a fight in the street . The person who assaulted him then knew who he was and where he lived too .

Both times I've given him the realistic options . Once he decided to report but not pursue , the second he went the full court route . But both times the choice was his, because the repercussions are going to affect him most, not me . All I can do is advise and support whatever choice he makes as best I can . As can any of us .

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 28-Jul-13 00:18:00

Why wouldn't you report that?

notanyanymore Sun 28-Jul-13 00:27:10

Your daughter is a victim too and can report. TBH I'd be very suprised if the police don't make contact themselves, its not the kind of job thats easily written off.
They wouldn't have taken the statement last night as a) it was a friday so response officers are fully stretched and need to be available as much as poss and statement taking is time consuming, b) if they had been to the pub likelyhood is they'll have had an alcoholic drink c) boyfriend was clearly injured and him seeking medical advice would be the first priority (and relevant to the report).

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 28-Jul-13 00:30:06

Sorry if my reply sounded blunt.

I meant your daughter or her partner could report it. They are both victims here. Must have been an awful experience..

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