Leaving DC out in the garden...

(82 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Sat 27-Jul-13 12:51:34

DH think IABU. I think he is being irresponsible. We will go with the wisdom of MN on this as we cannot agree.

We have 3 DC. DD1 is 4 and DTs are 2. Our garden is at the back of our house and our lounge is at the front of the house.

DH leaves the DC in the garden while he sits in the lounge. I hate it when he does this and I don't do it, I think they need to be watched.

We have a paddling pool (shallow but still a possible danger), a trampoline they can fall off, a garage full of tools and paint that they can access from the garden and there's also the (unlikely) risk of someone taking the kids from the garden.

AIBU to think they shouldn't be left unattended in the garden?

AgentZigzag Sat 27-Jul-13 13:21:30

That's terrible nurse (without detracting from the parents, terrible for you too), and why getting rid of the pond was the first thing we did moving in here with 2 YO DD.

NoComet Sat 27-Jul-13 13:30:36

A six year-old and four year-old year is one thing and even then I'd worry about a pool.

4 and two 2 year-olds is quite another.

They are too small, except possibly in a small garden with no hazards at all and a locked gate.

We have a big garden that is difficult to see most of from the house.

I either sat out there or got the DDs to play outside the kitchen window so I could see them.

When they were older, I tended to insist they both went out together so at least one of them could run in if the other piled off the trampoline or the swing.

In fact that didn't totally work as the once DD2 did limp in hurt, DS1 said it didnt count.

It wasn't an accident, she had been being silly. Sometimes child logic defeats me.

Nanny0gg Sat 27-Jul-13 13:30:57

Even if you didn't have all your listed hazards, I wouldn't leave a 2 year-old in a garden without supervision/being in ear- and eye-shot.

He is being lazy at best and negligent at worst.

Read him this thread.

NoComet Sat 27-Jul-13 13:31:11

DD1 (I don't have a DS)

Wossname Sat 27-Jul-13 13:32:32

I think it's pretty shit parenting really. Selfish, irresponsible, stupid.

MrsWolowitz Sat 27-Jul-13 14:17:18

I've shown him this thread.

He was initially defensive and a bit hmm

Then he read about that poor little girl that died yesterday. He's changed his tune now and said that he has just had a kick up the backside.

He agrees that he shouldn't leave them again his quote is "say to them, thank you MN, you are right"

He's also drained the paddling pool.

Thanks all.

AgentZigzag Sat 27-Jul-13 14:23:50

Awww, you've got a good 'un there MrsW smile

Mumsyblouse Sat 27-Jul-13 14:26:13

It's hard to imagine what might happen sometimes and my husband thinks I'm a neurotic mother and over some things I am, but not over water. Good on your husband for listening.

Viviennemary Sat 27-Jul-13 14:29:42

I didn't think I was over-protected but wouldn't leave small children unattended especially with a paddling pool. And certainly not two year olds under any circumstances.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 27-Jul-13 14:31:33

Oh so pleased he listened!

youarewinning Sat 27-Jul-13 14:33:24

Well I came to say your DH WBVU. But I have to take my hat off to him now for accepting that and changing his parenting. Sometimes it just takes anothers opinion to see the bigger picture.

nurse sad

burberryqueen Sat 27-Jul-13 14:36:19

good on him for listening...

lljkk Sat 27-Jul-13 14:51:47

He's also drained the paddling pool.

So he can sit in the lounge without supervising them after all, right?

throckenholt Sat 27-Jul-13 15:12:04

Speaking from the experience of having twins myself, he should know that you can't leave toddler twins unsupervised - even if they don't damage themselves they can cause havoc in a very short time. Mix in a 4 year old, and a garage full of tools, trampoline, and paddling pool and something is going to go wrong !

It is a tough few years - but you do need to be hands - and it really won't be long until they are more responsible.

MCos Sat 27-Jul-13 15:13:05

While he's at it, get him to put a lock on the shed and lock away all the paint and tools. And put a safety net and steps on the trampoline.

But at 2 yrs old, I'd still supervise them.

AnnabelleLee Sat 27-Jul-13 15:15:31

you're right, but seriously you might want to look at making the place safer anyway, it sounds like its rather dangerous.

maja00 Sat 27-Jul-13 15:17:34

I've left my DS unsupervised in the garden from 2. I doubt anyone is going to take him from the garden, he can't get onto the street and the shed is locked.

I wouldn't leave him unsupervised with a paddling pool though.

valiumredhead Sat 27-Jul-13 15:18:19

Fine without the pool, but NEVER with one.

Nanny0gg Sat 27-Jul-13 15:21:06

Blimey!

Is this the first time a DH has read a thread and changed his tune?

Well done OP's DH!!

(And I'd still never leave 2-year olds unsupervised, even in a padded room they'd get up to something!!)

Wossname Sat 27-Jul-13 15:22:57

Oh, how very reasonable of him. I retract my previously arsey response blush

Big hugs nurseneedshelp. Sounds like a shit day at the office sad (not deliberately flippant - also work in healthcare and have seen similarly awful things at work)

Op - show your dh her post. Sod the rest. This is why he's unreasonable. You just cannot leave kids this small unsupervised with water, or indeed with tools.

While the paddling pool is there they should not be out of his sight. If then try to make the rest safer, maybe put a lock on the garage and any gates you have. Then it would be fine for them to be on their own if he needed to pop in and get something for a couple of minutes but a flat no to watching Telly or playing computer games at the other end of the house.

To leave then as he is the younger ones need to be a couple if years older imho

kilmuir Sat 27-Jul-13 15:24:54

He is an idiot

Don't know how I missed the whole second page of this thread!

To op dh well done for listening and taking it on the chin!

SleepyFish Sat 27-Jul-13 15:29:58

Glad your DH has seen sense, sad that it took another child dying for this to happen though. He must have heard these stories before.

HappyMummyOfOne Sat 27-Jul-13 16:17:18

YANBU, even without the dangers of the pool etc there is no way id let 2 and 4 year olds play out alone.

Glad he has changed his mind although sad he had to be told by so many others first.

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