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Leaving DC out in the garden...

(82 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Sat 27-Jul-13 12:51:34

DH think IABU. I think he is being irresponsible. We will go with the wisdom of MN on this as we cannot agree.

We have 3 DC. DD1 is 4 and DTs are 2. Our garden is at the back of our house and our lounge is at the front of the house.

DH leaves the DC in the garden while he sits in the lounge. I hate it when he does this and I don't do it, I think they need to be watched.

We have a paddling pool (shallow but still a possible danger), a trampoline they can fall off, a garage full of tools and paint that they can access from the garden and there's also the (unlikely) risk of someone taking the kids from the garden.

AIBU to think they shouldn't be left unattended in the garden?

magimedi Sat 27-Jul-13 12:52:44

YANBU - with a paddling pool you must watch them.

MrsWolowitz Sat 27-Jul-13 12:52:54

Also he doesn't leave them for a few minutes while he has a wee or something, he leaves them out here while he is playing on the computer or watching TV.

squeakytoy Sat 27-Jul-13 12:53:04

the four year old would be fine, but leaving toddlers completely unattended is not good.. why can he not sit in the garden with them?

breadandhoney Sat 27-Jul-13 12:58:20

Absolutely unacceptable. With a paddling pool your eyes really should've be off them. Without a paddling pool I would still be within sight and earshot.

YANBU. He is.

livinginwonderland Sat 27-Jul-13 12:58:55

With a pool, YANBU.

DuchessFanny Sat 27-Jul-13 12:59:03

YANBU ... Our DC have all managed to bump heads, poke eyes, break stuff in our presence, so accidents happen whether you are there watching over them or not ... However an unaccompanied ( even if shallow) paddling pool is a definite no no for me ! As is an accessible garage ... Are they able to get out of the garden ? We thought our now teen couldn't as a 4 year old, until he was returned to us by a worried neighbour who'd found him wandering the main road -- and I'd only gone in the house to answer the phone -- a mere minute and he was off !! (( still buggers off now !))

freezation Sat 27-Jul-13 12:59:40

YADNBU. I wouldn't leave a 2 year old in the bath on their own and the same goes for a paddling pool.

mummymeister Sat 27-Jul-13 13:01:35

don't do it. not if you have a paddling pool as it is really easy for kids to drown in a teeny tiny amount of water. very unlikely as you say that someone will take them out of the garden but the risk of them picking up mud, stones and putting them in their mouths at 2 is pretty real. can he really not sit in the garden with his computer. in effect if you aren't actually out there watching them then he is leaving the 4 year old to do this. would you go to a play world place and leave them there on their own? no. so why do it in the back garden. unfortunately familiarity breeds complacency and that is why the most accidents happen in the home. 4 or 5 on their own in the garden yes. 2 a big fat no from me.

AgentZigzag Sat 27-Jul-13 13:01:36

YANBU, he's just wanting an easy time of it, which is understandable, but it's not fair to put the responsibility of 2 2 YO's onto a 4 YO, which is what he's doing.

bigkidsdidit Sat 27-Jul-13 13:01:45

Not with a pool. I leave my 2.5yo while I cook lunch but no pool and no tools out.

Readallaboutit1 Sat 27-Jul-13 13:02:07

YADNBU, I would be furious if anyone done this whilst my DC were in there care.

nurseneedshelp Sat 27-Jul-13 13:03:37

I dealt with a cadiac arrest yesterday, an 18 month old that drowned in the garden pond.

The parents were inside whilst their DD was left to her own devices.

She sadly died, I can't imagine what the poor family are going through.

Can't get the image of the poor girl out of my head.

Your DH needs a kick up his arse for being so complacent.

Montybojangles Sat 27-Jul-13 13:03:41

YANBU, he is. Very.

Why did he want to be a dad if he can't be bothered to play with them and would rather watch tv, or play on the computer?

JollyHolidayGiant Sat 27-Jul-13 13:04:08

I leave my 2yo in the garden regularly. But our garden is much safer than yours. No pool, no trampoline and our shed is locked if he's out there by himself.

yummumto3girls Sat 27-Jul-13 13:04:41

Depends how secure your garden is and how safe it is. I wouldn't leave the 2 year olds unattended at all but would have to be very confident that 4 year old could not get out.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sat 27-Jul-13 13:06:14

YANBU. Especially with the paddling pool and other potential dangers you mention. Also I think 4 is too young to take responsibility of 2 other children.
I allow my children (aged 6 and 3)to play out in our garden alone, however not if the paddling pool is out, and our garden is childproofed. I also sit in the lounge (at the back of the house near the garden) with the door open. I am just feet away from them, and I check on them every 10 minutes or so.

edlyu Sat 27-Jul-13 13:07:44

This is from Mumsnet child safety things you need to know.
1. Drowning
Children drown without making a sound or splashing. They sink silently while waiting for someone to come and help. It almost goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway - children should always be supervised when in swimming pools or in the sea. Very young children can drown in less than 2in (6cm) of water - a sink, toilet bowl, fountain, bucket, inflatable pool or even a rainwater-filled ditch could be fatal. And 15% of child drowning deaths in the UK occur while children are bathing - often due to being unsupervised for only the briefest of moments.

This is the main thing he should be taking into account when he decides that the thing he is doing in the lounge is more important that his childrens safety.

And this article gives more information about why you should never ever take your eyes from children near water

SleepyFish Sat 27-Jul-13 13:09:27

I agree, he is being irresponsible, especially so because of the paddling pools/access to garage. I used to let mine out on his own at 2 but i was always able to see/hear him as lounge/kitchen overlooked garden which was small/secure and child friendly.
Hopefully you'll get lots of replies then you can show him this thread.

With a pool they need to be within sight at all times. It's frighteningly easy for a toddler to drown in even a couple of inches of water. The trampoline similarly.

The pool would be a nono without direct supervision

The garage should be inaccessible to the children really

He is being a lazy git and behaving quite badly

Do you huff and puff and then take over? Natural ofc, because you want your children to be safe. He then gets off parenting duties.
#cynical

Happy to be wrong, natch

KristinaM Sat 27-Jul-13 13:10:54

My children receive less supervision than about 90% of those on mumsnet.

But when my toddlers were in a paddling pool I was right beside them.

Ifyou can't trust your husband to be in the garden beside them , give away the paddling pool .

SleepyFish Sat 27-Jul-13 13:14:57

Oh nurse, that's awful.sad
You here these stories every summer.

BackforGood Sat 27-Jul-13 13:18:39

If he wants to leave them unattended (really ? who can with 2 yr olds ?) then he neds to make the garden a LOt safer for them at the very least.
I'm generally pretty laid back on the 'WWYD?' /Parenting type threads, but there's no way I would expect 2 yr olds to play unsupervised.

ZolaBuddleia Sat 27-Jul-13 13:20:58

I'm pretty relaxed about safety, but the trampoline (assuming it's a big one) and the pool would mean I'd supervise too.

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