To get cheesed off with people telling me I should 'get a little job'?

(265 Posts)
LukewarmBath Fri 26-Jul-13 15:40:11

My youngest child is due to start school in September. I am getting very fed up with people telling me (totally unasked for advice btw) that I need to 'get a little job'. One of the mums at school, who is a total busybody and doesn't know me very well at all, even printed off details about a lunchtime supervisor job that is going at the DC's school because she 'thought I'd like to get a little job as mini Lukewarm is going to school soon'. People constantly ask me if I'm going to get a job. Even family do it.

The fact is, I don't really need to work financially. DH has his own company and I do a lot of his admin work for him as well as lots of cold calling and dealing with invoices. But because it's from home, no one seems to think it's a proper job. I go to the gym, meet up with friends regularly and go on lots of nights out, so it's not like I need the 'adult interaction' from a job either.

I just wish people would mind their own business!

Don't tell me your serious about anything but the last on your list talk

MrsKoala Sun 28-Jul-13 18:39:49

However I would say that your statement about work being impossible if you have more than one DC, no family help and no tax credits is incorrect koala. I am that person, and I know plenty like me, who do work under those circumstances. Most of us are self-employed but not all.

The problem i have with these statements Starfish is they are usually touted by pulled themselves up by the bootstraps, yorkshiremen sketch in monty python, katie hopkins type people who know someone who managed to get up an hour before they went to bed, work licking the road clean for 28 hours a day, look after the dc AND study for a fantastic career in the evenings. Then this is applied to everyone else regardless of circumstance. There may always be a possible alternative, but sometimes the cost (not necessarily in money) may be too high. If it was so easy everyone would be doing it. Or is everyone who doesn't lazy?

Talkinpeace Sun 28-Jul-13 18:40:15

what, as replies to stupid questions .... grin
I've not even warmed up .....

MrsKoala Sun 28-Jul-13 18:43:07

3Birthdaybunnies - i'm also getting comments like this too and DS is 10 fecking months! Along with people commenting on him breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Seriously, mind your own business people!

ReindeerBollocks Sun 28-Jul-13 18:51:46

I'm getting this at the moment - but my situation is similar to the one MrsDeVere describes: a child with a complicated medical condition which requires a lot of appointments and time in hospital.

The child in question attends school, and now my youngest will be in full time school I keep getting the 'no excuses for not working now' line. However I know any employer would be sick of our constant absences - the child who is ill may attend school full time, but the fact is that his attendance record is below 85% so it would be a lot of time off.

I am trying my hand at freelancing work, as it gives me more freedom to wriggle appointments in, amongst clients so fingers crossed it will work.

Essentially it's no-one else's business, and that's what I tell the nosy people who want to know how I will fill my time with both DC in school.

AdoraBell Sun 28-Jul-13 19:19:36

For all the 'how will you fill your time' questions give a bright smile and say something like "you don't need to worry about me, I can fill my time, thanks" but don't tell them how you plan to fill your time.

I don't watch TV during the day despite being an SAHM and working full time never stopped me eating chocolate, so that messes up that stereotype.

Wbdn28 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:23:58

Tell people you work as a business administrator. You don't need to tell them that the location is your home.

It's been a good long while since I've seen a good SAHM v WOHM thread. grin Well done OP.

I just say I'm a landlord which I am but the management company does everything for me but they don't know that

I don't know if said people are lazy or not koala, I don't know their circumstances. I was responding to your generalisation that it's impossible to work if you have more than one DC, no family help and no tax credits, because that simply isn't true.

There may be other reasons why one parent doesn't work, but the list you gave need not be a barrier to work.

ErrorError Sun 28-Jul-13 20:05:24

Ooh my ex-p used to comment on my 'little job' (part-time) which was incredibly irritating and made me feel de-valued. I'm okay with what I do at the moment and enjoy the freedom to work from home (and browse MN!) alongside helping to care for my DM in a wheelchair. It's absolutely none of anyone's business how you spend your time or your money. If I was you and had the courage I'd be so tempted to give some over the top theatrical response to the suggestion of getting a 'little job', e.g. "I'm actually running an escort service", or "how little is little? am I too big for one?"

Talkinpeace Sun 28-Jul-13 20:46:42

"I have a 'little job' : I make dolls houses at home"

"I have a little job - dealing with small minded people"

"I'd love to get a normal job but when I'm called to do a hit, everything has to fit around it. Nice pen. "

"Oh, now the kids are full time at school I'm going back on the game, would you like to play with me? Golf of course"

SixPackWellies Mon 29-Jul-13 11:48:50

Love the 'hit' one Talking. I would LOVE to say that!

KellyElly Mon 29-Jul-13 13:49:53

I never understand why people get so heated about other peoples life choices. People do what's right for them and their family/marriage etc. All I know is if I won the lottery I'd give up work like a shot and fill my days doing all the things I enjoy but never get time to do grin

I'd love to know what Vix does that demands those hours - care work of some sort I assume?

nkf Mon 29-Jul-13 14:08:54

I don't think it would bother.me tbh. They are making assumptions based in their understanding of a recognised pattern. Really though, it's Just chatter to fill in space.

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