To get cheesed off with people telling me I should 'get a little job'?

(265 Posts)
LukewarmBath Fri 26-Jul-13 15:40:11

My youngest child is due to start school in September. I am getting very fed up with people telling me (totally unasked for advice btw) that I need to 'get a little job'. One of the mums at school, who is a total busybody and doesn't know me very well at all, even printed off details about a lunchtime supervisor job that is going at the DC's school because she 'thought I'd like to get a little job as mini Lukewarm is going to school soon'. People constantly ask me if I'm going to get a job. Even family do it.

The fact is, I don't really need to work financially. DH has his own company and I do a lot of his admin work for him as well as lots of cold calling and dealing with invoices. But because it's from home, no one seems to think it's a proper job. I go to the gym, meet up with friends regularly and go on lots of nights out, so it's not like I need the 'adult interaction' from a job either.

I just wish people would mind their own business!

Next time just say ' I already have a job but thanks for the concern', smile blandly and ignore!

valiumredhead Fri 26-Jul-13 15:45:28

I find 'thanks but I have inherited so I don't need to work'smile

That shuts them right up!

Ezio Fri 26-Jul-13 15:48:59

Oooo, i like Valiums reply.

But i agree, it isnt anyones business what you do.

LukewarmBath Fri 26-Jul-13 15:51:13

Haha, great suggestions, thanks all!

I find it irritating too that they all assume I want a 'little job' working at a school or behind the counter at the village shop, or doing a bit of cleaning. Not that there is anything wrong with these jobs at all but everyone seems to assume that being at home = incapable of doing anything very taxing

BiscuitDunker Fri 26-Jul-13 15:52:19

I know the feeling. I left my job shortly after mat leave from having my dd as dhs wages ment it wasn't financially essential that I worked so we could afford for me to be a sahm. Ever since dd started nursery 3 afternoons a week all anyone kept asking was "so are you going to get a little job now?" And saying "I've heard there's a few part time jobs going at so-and-so,you should apply",it did my head in! I did seriously think about going back to work and/or doing a college course and everyone knew this but they still kept going on at every given opportunity!

Then I fell pg with dc2 and they stopped asking,so I've now got a few years before they start going on at me again lol.

i'd say the work you do for DH's company is a job, so you don't need another one.

ignore - you can't really tell them to butt out because they'll assume you're the one being rude hmm

but you can tell them that you work for your DH's company if you want.

yy to the idea that "little job" is all you can handle hmm

squoosh Fri 26-Jul-13 15:53:52

The phrase 'little job' makes my skin prickle, it's so patronising.

Tell them the only 'little job' you need to worry about is the one you wipe off your bum with £50 notes.

squoosh Fri 26-Jul-13 15:54:38

What is a 'little job', working with Borrowers?

grumpyoldbat Fri 26-Jul-13 15:57:16

I agree the phrase 'little job' is horrible. Tell them you do have a job you do really although I like valium's reply.

Groovee Fri 26-Jul-13 16:00:16

This sort of thing does my head in. My friend is her mum's carer. She gets the boys to school, walks the dog to her mums and takes care of her mums needs, then shops for her mum and then has to get back for the boys. Another mum kept telling her about term time only jobs because she was fed up "of people like her staying at home to get tax credits!" It did my head in. As my friend said she needs to be on call for her mum as her siblings work and by her being the carer, it means their mum has someone there.

EstelleGetty Fri 26-Jul-13 16:04:25

Grrr, that is patronising shite, that is. I'm in a kind of similar position, Luke. I don't have DCs but am studying for a doctorate, for which I work 40 hours p/w in my office and receive a pittance monthly salary.

I need to grit my teeth when people ask when I'm getting a job, or a 'real job.' Or if I'll get a wee part-time job while I'm 'a student.'

I. have. a. job. Seriously. So do you - you're an administrator for the family business, just tell them that.

Longdistance Fri 26-Jul-13 16:12:33

It is so patronising, that was my first thought even just reading the title.

I get this all the time, as I'm a sahm. Not through choice
either.

'You can get yourself a little job' 'something to earn pin money' 'a little job in a coffee shop' Even though I'm way beyond qualified and experienced to do that, or any little job.

You're a household director of administrations grin

Ezio Fri 26-Jul-13 16:13:33

Groove, your friends should tell "fed up fanny" at the school gate, that term time jobs are not easy to find, i should know, im on JSA, and its been a year and no interview.

I never knew getting a job was so easy.

GoodTouchBadTouch Fri 26-Jul-13 16:14:00

Ha YANBU! I get it all the time

I haven't worked since I got married, and I never plan to again.

Health visitor said to me how I should get a job now the kids are in school, and I said it was a bit late now, Im 31 and have been out of the work place for 11 years. She says "oh its never too late to retrain, I was 40 when I went back to school..." wow, live the dream..

Badvoc Fri 26-Jul-13 16:16:50

Just tell them you plan to sit around in your pants watching homes under the hammer.
I find that's shuts people up fairly quickly.
I am getting the same thing...

Kat101 Fri 26-Jul-13 16:17:15

Does your husbands company pay you? I would find that important for many reasons (tax, NI, employment contract rights, pension entitlements etc).

Ignore the little job comments, they are well meaning though fucking irritating

TabithaStephens Fri 26-Jul-13 16:18:51

I'd be bored if I didn't work. What do you do with yourself all day?

Goodtouchbadtough, isn't 31 a bit young to declare you don't want to work again?

whois Fri 26-Jul-13 16:24:37

I haven't worked since I got married, and I never plan to again

Are you ill or is there some other reason you can't work? Can't believe you plan never to work again, picking up after your husband is hardly a fulfilling life is it once the kids are grown up?? Unless you're multi-millionaire rich. Then you could probably have an exciting enough life to not work.

OP, sounds like you actually DO have a job (or a 'little job') with the admin work so just tell people that.

Hassled Fri 26-Jul-13 16:29:08

I used to get that (until of course I went and got a job!) - it's bloody annoying.

From the sounds of things you do have a "little job". If it will get them off your back, exaggerate it a little - add on a few more hours than you do or something.

5Foot5 Fri 26-Jul-13 16:30:16

OP - YANBU to be annoyed at these people who can't mind their own business. Plus I agree the "little job" term would make me fume.

But GoodTouchBadTouch - 31 too late? Really? And have you thought through the implications for when you retire and what your pension entitlements will be if you haven't worked in all that time. Maybe you can still fill your time while the kids are young but they won't always need Mum running round after them. Your own choice entirely but honestly 31 does seem very young to be ruling out any thought of a future career outside the home.

daisychain01 Fri 26-Jul-13 16:32:02

Just shock them - say something like "nah, I'm a complete indolent, I just cant get up in the morning".

grin

ImperialBlether Fri 26-Jul-13 16:33:15

OP, make sure you pay national insurance when you're working for your husband's firm. Not that I think the state pension will still be around then!

GoodTouchBadTouch Fri 26-Jul-13 16:33:30

I was 20 when I got married, so its been so long Id probably struggle to get a job stacking shelves... and hate it.

Definitely not millionaires, and there IS a lot of fannying about in coffee shops and online, (obviously not the case for you OP)

My husband says I enable him to give 100% at his career, by doing everything at home, plus other bits which take time like the dry cleaning and admin. I couldn't make more than the minimum wage anyway. Im going to have another baby in December, maybe a couple more after that.

I like to think of myself as retired smile

juneau Fri 26-Jul-13 16:34:02

How bloody irritating and condescending! I hate that people assume I'll want to rush back to work when DS2 goes to school too, although it's still a rather pleasing two years off yet. I took great pleasure at the end of last term telling one mother, who's always asking 'Well, we don't really need me to work and actually my DH isn't bothered'. Cue cat's bum face. Ha!

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