To not want to work as a childminder during the holidays.

(50 Posts)
MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 21:47:08

I am a teacher and I have been asked to look after a a friend's DS every Monday starting next week because I am off work and she has no childcare.
I am looking after my neices for 10 days (spread over the 6 weeks) because their parents are at work and have no child care.
I also have another friend's child every Friday over the 6 weeks.
I get 65 days paid holiday. The minimum paid holiday is 28 so I understand that I get a good deal but is it right that I am seen as free holiday childcare?
This latest request has p'd me off.

GingerBlondecat Sat 27-Jul-13 00:42:03

curlew, I do understand.

(((((((((((((((Hugs You)))))))))))))))))) You are Lovely <3

I think the difference is in this case, the asker only wanted Yes as an Answer. And wasn't prepared to hear NO.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 26-Jul-13 14:20:03

glad you said no and tough shit friend is miffed

she can pay for childcare or send to another friend to break the week up hmm

Groovee Fri 26-Jul-13 09:55:58

Just say no. I'm helping a friend out. Last summer I helped out because her FIL was diagnosed with cancer and her MIL was struggling. The kids are the same age as my 2, so we had some fun days out. But she did say if you don't want to just say.

This year it's only 2 weeks which will be fine. Easy oozy.

curlew Fri 26-Jul-13 09:48:18

I know it's not what this thread is about- but I hate the fact that people aren't supposed to ask for help. sad I would soooo much rather somebody asked me straight out than I realised 6 months later the they were struggling and hoping I would notice.

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 26-Jul-13 09:41:36

Preferred option as in first option/ option to get me out of paying for childcare.

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 26-Jul-13 09:40:31

curlew because it's sometimes hard to say no if someone asks. When I have been really stuck myself, I have always paid for DC to go into clubs. Occasionally, I've told a friend what the situation is and they have offered help but it's never something I have relied on or seen as a preferred option.

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 26-Jul-13 09:33:40

Thank you everyone!

I think part of the problem is that some friends have told me how lucky I am to have 'all these holidays' and how lucky I am never to have to find childcare as I am off during school holidays.

I do have good holidays but often mine don't coincide with my own DC's and I pay for holiday clubs! For example, at the end of the summer, DC go back 4 days after me so they are in a club then. Every half term next year is different to mine and one week of Easter is too! DC will be in clubs!

Thanks for your thoughts, I phoned my friend this morning and said that I couldn't do it. She sounded a bit miffed but didn't say much else, just moaned a bit about the cost of the clubs and said she thought it might have broken up the week a bit for her DC. Oh well, it's done now!

curlew Fri 26-Jul-13 09:25:53

Why is this friend being slated for asking? Seems perfectly normal to me- "I'm really stuck for child care is there any chance you could help me out?"

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 26-Jul-13 09:18:11

YABU, just say no if you dont want too but its sad when friends cant ask a favour without being slated just for asking.

Unless i had plans, having an extra child or two is not really any extra bother if it means helping out a friend. Every day for the whole holiday is different but ad hoc days isnt too much to ask a good friend to do assuming it works both ways.

pigglepaggle Fri 26-Jul-13 08:50:57

YANBU. You're on holiday and also having a break from other people's children. It seems there's a bit of a fine line with helping out your friends (cos that's what friends do) and providing free child care.

I used to be a childminder and the amount of times friends asked me to look after X for a day or collect X from school as I was 'at home all day' No I wasn't at home all day I was working with a set number of mindees who paid for my services.

GingerBlondecat Fri 26-Jul-13 08:48:28

I wouldn't give her too much information formica.

it just leads to trying negotionations.

formicadinosaur Fri 26-Jul-13 08:32:32

Say no sorry, I'm already doing too much child care t his break. Then outline your commitments care wise.

Poppy4453 Fri 26-Jul-13 07:54:07

"Sorry no I'm really looking forward to my holiday."

People are very cheeky.

YoniMitchell Fri 26-Jul-13 07:35:42

If she's not offering a reciprocal deal, as in taking your DC another day each week - assuming that's appealing to you, then tell her no. It's really that simple, surely?

Summerblaze Fri 26-Jul-13 07:32:57

Its your holiday and you are entitled to do what you want with it. If you only want your niece and your other friends child then that is your choice and obviously depends on how close this other friend is.

Personally I love helping my friends out in the holidays. I am a SAHM so am a good choice for them.

I don't think you need any special certificates unless you are getting paid for looking after them, family or friends.

ProudAS Fri 26-Jul-13 07:14:22

Is your friend likely to return the favour when your dcs' term dates don't correspond with yours or they have a ted day or is she using you as free childcare?

YANBU, there is no way that I would do it and there is no way that I would expect a teacher friend to do this. Heck, I won't even ask my DM or MIL to look after mine more than once or twice a year. If I want to work when my children are not at school then I pay for childcare. Surely that's part of the deal.

GingerBlondecat Fri 26-Jul-13 07:05:01

^^ NO she didn't

MrsLouisTherouxThu 25-Jul-13 22:03:33

giant I do want to help out and that's why I am looking after nieces and my other friend's DC but that was planned and is on the calendar I know where I stand. I agreed to it. This other friend has got wind of it and is chancing her luck I think. I would have offered if I wanted to do it. I'm just going to say no, sorry, got too much on.

Roshbegosh Fri 26-Jul-13 06:41:26

You said yes and now you are moaning. You must like being a martyr. Next holiday decide whether you prefer the martyrdom or the break and then stop moaning.

GingerBlondecat Fri 26-Jul-13 06:35:45

Hang On.......... You are paying for childcare/activities for your own children, but, this 'friend' wants free childcare....... from You ?hmm

Yeh, sahm's get this all the damn time, unfortunately. SMH

flowers wine and Chocolate OP.

nokidshere Fri 26-Jul-13 03:17:40

I'm a childminder and I don't want to work during the holidays either grin

Mimishimi Fri 26-Jul-13 02:13:16

Just say no. It never works out well. Sometimes they even tell their friends, whom you don't know from jack, that you are available for emergency/backup childcare angry

deleted203 Fri 26-Jul-13 02:08:05

YANBU. I'm a teacher and I'm not looking after anyone's kids for free (or even for pay) in the summer holidays. No way, thank you.

BTW - you don't get 65 days paid holiday. Your annual salary is split into twelve equal portions - so if you worked an extra 37 days then you would be entitled to the extra pay.

What did your friend think she was going to do every Monday whilst she worked? She should have sorted out childcare.

zatyaballerina Thu 25-Jul-13 23:34:48

Say no, you're too busy. Nobody's making you work as a childminder and you're only being asked because this friend sees you willingly taking on other peoples kids, she won't be pissed off if you say no, she's just trying her luck.

Mumsyblouse Thu 25-Jul-13 23:32:29

I can't imagine the situation where I ask teacher friends to have my children in the school holidays, it's just ridiculous to ask. I might ask a mum who has children to swop once or twice in an entire holiday (I don't even do that) but I just pay for childcare/take time off work and so on. This is really incredibly cheeky and I would just say no to anything else.

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