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To not want my cleaner to bring her 3 grandchildren to my house when she cleans?

(60 Posts)
thefuturesnotourstosee Thu 25-Jul-13 19:59:55

Age 7, 9 and 11. I allowed it once as a one off thing during the Easter holidays and they were appalling behaved. They raced all over the place shouting, broke a couple of mugs and one of dd's toys and drunk all of the lemonade and ate all the crisps from the cupboard before I realised (they never asked they just took them). They also swore a lot.

I spoke to cleaner at time and asked her not to bring them again as really she didn't get much cleaning done . Now she's rung and left a message saying they're coming with her tomorrow as "her dd has no child care". I don't want them here. I've already got 2 of DD's friend's over so there will be 4 children in the house anyway.

I phoned cleaner and suggested she comes on Monday instead as its not convenient to have the children here and she said she'd bring them then as she's looking after them for the next 2 weeks. I told her that as I'd said at Easter it didn't work having them here and to let me know when she could come without them and I'd give her some extra hours then. She got very stroppy with me and said I was discriminating against her and I had to allow it. I told her no meant no.

AIBU?

No of course you're not discriminating against her. She's being a bloody idiot, I wouldn't have her back at all.

No, YANBU, I don't take my children to work, why should my employer allow me to. You are her employer, whether she is a cleaner or your accountant, makes no difference. Stick to your guns.

YANBU, she taking the piss - discrimination my arse!

MrsWolowitz Thu 25-Jul-13 20:02:20

YANBU.

They broke your property? shock

I don't know what the legal aspect is but common sense would say that not wanting destructive and rude children in your house is not discrimination!

Mumsyblouse Thu 25-Jul-13 20:02:24

of course you don't have to allow three children in the house while she cleans and her bluster about discrimination is quite laughable. she can't do the job with them there and you have been really nice and flexible about her coming at different times. stick to your guns.

Whocansay Thu 25-Jul-13 20:02:34

Er, discrimination?!! My boss wouldn't be happy if I took my kids into work either!

I'd get a new cleaner if I were you!

Radiator1234 Thu 25-Jul-13 20:03:29

Sack the cleaner.

lessonsintightropes Thu 25-Jul-13 20:03:40

Seconding the new cleaner suggestion.

Yanbu!

gintastic Thu 25-Jul-13 20:04:55

Can just imagine my bosses face if I took my 3 into work...

YouTheCat Thu 25-Jul-13 20:05:15

She's taking the piss.

If they were her kids and she was struggling to juggle holiday child care and her job, that would be different.

Basically she expects you to watch them for nothing, while she cleans and their parent is at work?

Tell her, her family's child care is not your problem.

lottieandmia Thu 25-Jul-13 20:06:48

YANBU at all! Get someone else. You have a cleaner to make your life easier not harder I imagine!

YANBU. She is being ridiculous. You have been more than reasonable offering her other hours at a different time despite you clearly and unambiguously telling her that she could not bring them again. You'd be well within your rights to say to her that if she has her grandchildren she can't come fullstop. Then its between her and her dd -their childcare issues should not be your concern or your problem

LifeIsSoDifferent Thu 25-Jul-13 20:07:38

She's trying to take you for a fool. You told her once it didn't work so why would she try and bring them again?? Some people are mental

amiwickedwitch Thu 25-Jul-13 20:09:15

yanbu.

Agree with the suggestion of perhaps a new cleaner.

MammaTJ Thu 25-Jul-13 20:09:27

Time to say goodbye!

ActionLog Thu 25-Jul-13 20:11:08

New cleaner and change the locks

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 20:11:32

I was ready to think that you might be being unreasonable.
Ah, let the little cherubs come along.
But with that history, absolutely not.
YANBU.

It can be quite liberating to "let go" of a cleaner who has caused you problems / broken your things/ damaged your home. (issues em?)

On the other hand you could agree that she can bring them, you just happen to charge 3x as much for childcare as she does for cleaning! wink

Viviennemary Thu 25-Jul-13 20:14:32

YANBU. Of course she shouldn't be bringing her grandchildren. Fair enough a one off in an emergency but then that's it. If I ever had a cleaner again then I would use an agency even if it costs more. I think it's a better idea then there is none of this nonsense.

Roshbegosh Thu 25-Jul-13 20:15:05

Yes, if they had behaved well last time you could be understanding but this is ridiculous. You may end up having to get someone new if things are awkward afterwards. I feel sorry for her as she obviously needs the pay for the work and has had the children dumped on her but why should you pick up the fallout, given that they behaved so badly before?

hermioneweasley Thu 25-Jul-13 20:16:36

Absolutely ridiculous. And it is NOT unlawful discrimination (I can't imagine how she thinks it might be). Agree with others saying time to get rid....

charleyturtle Thu 25-Jul-13 20:16:50

No that's insane! My boss would flip if I took my dd into work. it is not professional. if her daughter didn't have childcare for the children she should try and find alternative care or call you to rearrange hours. You were very understanding last time and it came back to bite you because she was not respecting your home and let her grand kids run riot.

just tell her you have agreed to rearrange her hours and it is very unprofessional to bring family members to work as it is her place of work. just because it is your house not an office does not make it any less of a place of work.

MissStrawberry Thu 25-Jul-13 20:18:54

So the mother has to work but wouldn't dream of taking her children with her...

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