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to want people to stop shortening my name? (first world issues!)

(107 Posts)
lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain Thu 25-Jul-13 14:02:39

I have a very traditional, slightly long name. Without specifically mentioning it, it's the name of a former British queen who wore black a lot.

So why, without me asking, do people feel the need to shorten it? It drives me mad. For the record, I have no problem with other people who choose to use said name. However, when I was at primary school (oh yes, it goes back that far) there was a girl who was actually called the short form and she was an absolute cow. Since then, I've really hated being called it.

What's worse, is now it's people in a business context doing it. I would never shorten someone's name unless there was an 'oh, please call me xxx' or they signed their emails that way.

AIBU to be irrationally irritated by this?

CalamityJ Sat 27-Jul-13 01:56:57

I always reply how people sign themselves off. Or if no sign off (bit rude) then the name in the email address e.g. Andrew.Brown@nowhere.com if he signed himself Andy he'd get Andy back, otherwise Andrew. My email is the shortened version of my name because I prefer it and passionately dislike my full name But equally you are perfectly entitled to expect people to use your full name if that's what you call yourself. It's your name; you get to decide! There's a woman at work called Elizabeth who is only Elizabeth. I watched a colleague call her Liz. The face that launched 1000 cats' bums!

MaBumble Sat 27-Jul-13 01:57:09

I totally understand. I have a name that cannot be shortened. It just can't. My mother specifically picked lovely names for all off us because she hated her shortened nickname.
A wife of a friend has decided to call me by a nickname that sounds like a French poodle. I have told her that I don't like it. Nothing, still carries on. She's really nice, I understand she's doing it out of affection. I still may kill her.

mrssprout Sat 27-Jul-13 01:59:09

Here in Australia it is very much a "mateship" thing to shorten a name. My name doesn't really shorten so in high school my friends found a way to make my name longer so they could shorten it to a nickname. I didn't mind & I'm lucky that I don't get too upset about a wrong name. My married surname is always said wrong & as a foster carer I have been called Mrs..........(insert surname of every child ever in our care) when ever I take a child to an appointment

WandaDoff Sat 27-Jul-13 02:47:58

Most people, call me by an abbr. of my name. It has the same amount of letters so not really an abbr. but not my actual name.

I don't mind, as long as the aren't calling me fuckface, or halfpint or fatso or some kind of derogatory term.

My Dad used to go mad if anybody called me anything but the name he lovingly chose for me, & it makes me smile if somebody calls me by my given name now, as it reminds me of him smile

nooka Sat 27-Jul-13 04:51:06

I have a longish very unusual name which can have a very common (well for those of us born in the 70s!) shortening. My mum trained me very early on to object to that shortening and so I've never used it. I did in my teens try and invent all sorts of nicknames because I thought it was a sign of being popular, but from university onwards have always used my full name. On the whole people have very rarely tried to shorten it, although occasionally I get asked if I use a short form.

I did once have a teacher who tried to call me by the common shortening and was really surprised when I didn't respond, but it's just not my name so it doesn't ring the 'this person is talking to me' bell

My family use a different short form and I've never really had the heart to stop them, although it does feel really strange when I meet someone through my family and they call me that name. I do find it slightly surprising that only one of my siblings has noticed I never use the name (it's been 20 odd years!)

Mixxy Sat 27-Jul-13 05:33:55

I like the longer version of my name but I also like the shortened one too. BUT it depends heavily on who is calling me by the shortened version. All my family call by my shortened name as do my close friends (but not my DH for some reason). If somebody is being over familiar and just assuming they can do it, I bristle. You can't say anthong then though, without saying "I just don't like you as much as I like others".

MrsMook Sat 27-Jul-13 06:37:58

OP your name is my middle name, and I suspect if my names had been arranged differently, I'd have the same problem as I really like the full version.

My first name is much shorter and can only be shortened to something very colloquial. I don't mind when good friends do it occasionally, but it really gets my back up when strangers do it.

My DCs have traditional names. Generally people can handle "John" but our friend was trying his luck with "Johnnie". We thwarted his game by mauling his son's name and singing a song about it in a George, to Georgie Porgie kind of way. Our "joke" was far more annoying and the point was quickly made.

When we were naming "Benjamin" we accepted that he will probably end up being a "Ben". We love his full name and will use it until he's old enough to express an opinion.

When I meet a new class, I always ask as I take the register- Sarah-Jane or Sarah, Thomas or Tom. I do it where there is a common, established short version. It gives the pupils the confidence to tell me what they prefer. I have sometimes said that I would prefer not to call them x as it's too informal e.g. "Iz" short for Isabelle. I once had a pupil who didn't respond to his name at all just Dingle- he and his friends must have been soap fans!

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