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to be fed up with this and to have really lost respect for dh.

(80 Posts)
martini84 Thu 25-Jul-13 08:48:50

I posted on here before re dh for shouting at the dc for no not putting rubish in bin etc etc.
We had a gentle discussion about this which didn't go brilliantly but I thought at least its out in the open.
However, nothing has changed.
Every night he leave a mug or glass where sits. I have to move these as we have an exploring baby. One night he left his tablets within baby's reach.
If he has a beer he leave empty bottle, lid and bottle opener on the side.
Whenever he does a diy he leave drill, socket sets etc wherever he was doing job.
I can clean the whole kitchin and within minutes he will cut a pizza or bread and create more crumbs.
Clothes get thrown on floor after wear. I ignore ones in our bedroom but I am now finding socks etc all over the house.
I am so fed up.
Aibu to ask how on earth can I get him to clean up after himself.
I largely sahm so do the housework but this is just making life impossible and I am feeling resentful.

StuntGirl Mon 29-Jul-13 12:27:34

I agree with AF. Seriously, where's the fucking common respect between partners? He couldn't give a shit about picking up his own dirty clothes, so he left them. His wife finally stopped running round and picking up after him, so he eventually goes to the great hardship of just picking up what, days? weeks? worth of washing and dumping it in the basket, again creating more work than necessary for his wife.

Does he have no hands? Perhaps he lost all his fingers in a terrible accident. Perhaps that is why he is seemingly incapable of using a washing machine or picking things up.

atrcts Mon 29-Jul-13 13:36:23

The trouble is - how do you persuade a partner that cleaning needs to be done?

Everyone has their own ideas about how often and how thorough a job needs to be done, and there can be a stalemate where there is no agreement reached about who wins. Do the beds get charged weekly or monthly, does the floor get mopped twice week or fortnightly, and so on.

Some people would Hoover daily, I wouldn't. But I also wouldn't want to be forced to do it daily if I didn't see that it needed to be done. I'd think of it as a bit OCD and a waste of my time.

My partner and I have different thresholds for dirt. He doesn't 'see' the dirt everywhere like I do, and he honesty thinks my standards are too high because they are completely different to his.

So who wins?

atrcts Mon 29-Jul-13 13:38:47

It often ends up with the person who 'sees' the dirt being the person who cleans it, because they're getting what they want (which is cleanliness to their standard) as they've ensured its done by their own personal effort!

DoJo Mon 29-Jul-13 16:39:13

Every man needs his own space in his home.
Leaving crap everywhere and expecting your wife to wade through it isn't because you 'need space', it's because you're an entitled arse. If you don't give a shit whether your behaviour makes your partner unhappy, then it's not because you haven't got somewhere to call your own, that's a luxury, it's because you don't value your partner and don't care that you are making things difficult for them.

And here endeth the lecture. ( I hope)

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