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AIBU?

To have confronted this poor excuse for a mother?

552 replies

TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 13:58

So I'm sat at work, window open. I hear a commotion outside so get up and look out the window. There is a heavily pregnant woman with two small children - a boy of around 3 and a girl of maybe 4.

She is screaming at the boy .. ' you fucking piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing? ' and ' Come on you little prick ' etc etc.

I shout down ' Don't do that! Don't say that! ' in complete shock. ' Who the fuck are you? Fuck off ' she shouts back.

I then deliberated on what to do. I felt really angry so ran down the stairs onto the street but she had gone into the bank. And then I ground to a halt and couldn't work out what to do.

So did nothing more. I mean, what CAN you do? Only a bit of swearing after all eh? I have no idea what I would have done if I'd managed to confront her anyway.

I detest this, really hate it. If you swear at your children like this, in the street, then you are a shit parent.

Aren't you?

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ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 24/07/2013 14:00

That's awful. I can't imagine what it must do to a child to be screamed at like that.

And I don't think that someone who can scream that at their kids is simply having a bad day and the rest of the time they're mary gloody poppins.
I think the only snapshot you're seeing is a snapshot of that poor kids life.

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BrainSurgeon · 24/07/2013 14:01

Oh dear Hmm

Good on you for telling her to stop.... Even if she had a really bad day, there's no excuse....

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:02

Oh and she was not having a bad day or an extreme parenting moment. We ALL have those - Blimey, I've often had to err 'discipline' my two in public over the years!

No, this was just the norm. She was just awful.

I feel so sad about it

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Justforlaughs · 24/07/2013 14:02

Sad, I don't know what else you could have done, but it's very sad when you hear things like this.

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:03

It is sad isn't it? This was at 10 am ish. I'm still all bothered about it!

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Turry · 24/07/2013 14:05

Wow. YABU, YABU, YABU! I just wish there was a way of identifying her/ reporting to SS! :(

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quesadilla · 24/07/2013 14:05

YANBU. Try as I might I can't think of a reason to justify swearing abuse at children. Unless she had extreme PND. But there are just people who don't know any better. Good on you for tackling her, I think I would have resorted to a dirty look.

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Turry · 24/07/2013 14:06

Oops, MANY apols - by YABU x3, I obviously meant quite the opposite! Doh!

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:07

My colleagues were amazed! I ran down two flights of stairs and have absolutely no idea what I intended to actually 'do' once I got down there. I would have asked for her name and address, definitely.

Which is just bloody stupid I know : )

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yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 24/07/2013 14:08

I wonder about the same thing as my neighbour screams such things as

"You are nothing but a fucking waste of space"

"Why don't you just fuck off you fucking fanny"

And the best one

"For fuck sake, why don't you just go fuck yourself "

This is every day to 4 year olds.

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:08

I know Turry : )

WHY do these people have kids? This wasn't normal parenting. This wasn't an exasperated mother - or even one at the end of her tether.

She was just horrible. And sadly....having another one.

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MrsDeVere · 24/07/2013 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nancy66 · 24/07/2013 14:09

Good for you. You did what you could at the time. I doubt it will make any difference (sadly) but at least you didn't let it pass unnoticed.

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:09

yello - I couldn't stand this. Do you phone SS?

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:10

MrsD - if I was a betting person, I'd stick my house on the fact that she's a rough, shit parent. The volume, the tone, the look on the kid's faces....

I'm depressed all over again!

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ouryve · 24/07/2013 14:12

That poor child:(

Yellowsnow - report it. Seriously. You only hear what she's saying, and that's bad enough.

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Purple2012 · 24/07/2013 14:13

I phoned ss years ago. A neighbour who wasn't that close distance wise was constantly screaming at her kids, both under 4 years. Things like

Get away from me you fucking twat.

You little cunt

And lots of other similar things. There was also crashing and banging along with the kids screaming. I don't know if they were being hit.

So I reported her. I never knew the outcome but I couldn't listen to that and do nothing.

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MrsDeVere · 24/07/2013 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:18

They would do nothing at all. But this doesn't mean that folk should turn a blind eye.

And to try and defend this woman < if anyone feels they need to > is just defending the indefensible. It makes no difference if this is just a few seconds out of an otherwise charmed life. I saw her < shan't describe her as I'd like to as you'll all lynch me and it's probably not vital >, I heard her. This was not the first time, that's for sure.

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LookingForwardToMarch · 24/07/2013 14:20

That wasn't really just a child 'being sworn at' was it?

A child being sworn at would be an exasperated parent crying 'oh ffs child'.

Which ok, maybe means its a very very bad day and your not a totally shit parent.

But what the op heard sounds like extreme verbal abuse of a small child.

Op no wonder you were sickened. I would have run down those stairs too.

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Floggingmolly · 24/07/2013 14:22

It doesn't mean she's a shit parent. She might be, but you can't possibly tell from what you saw
Of course you bloody can Hmm. No decent parent subjects their toddler to the indignity of hearing "you fucking piece of shit", "you little prick", etc.
That's verbal assault, just like it would be if a stranger screamed it at you in the street.

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MrsDeVere · 24/07/2013 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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TeddyPickleStick · 24/07/2013 14:22

LFTM - Yes, that's it. I don't swear at my kids as hate that too, but it is one thing to say ' Oh FFS child ' and quite another to verbally lay a little boy out.

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KFFOREVER · 24/07/2013 14:23

You never know ss may already be involved.

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yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 24/07/2013 14:23

I haven't reported it yet, she never does it when the dad is in so I was going to point it out to him first, but haven't had a chance to speak to him yet. Also im very pregnant so didn't want an altercation just now

I'm hoping she does it when my hv is in as surely they have to do something. I do feel bad I've not done anything just dealing with my own stuff just now and she doesn't seem the responsible type

For the first time yesterday I heard one of them getting dragged across the floor and thumped down. Then hysterical screaming.

I think this mum is not coping with twins and never seems to be with other adults rather than her partner, and she just drags the kids up to the supermarket and back never anywhere else.

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