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To have confronted this poor excuse for a mother?(553 Posts)
So I'm sat at work, window open. I hear a commotion outside so get up and look out the window. There is a heavily pregnant woman with two small children - a boy of around 3 and a girl of maybe 4.
She is screaming at the boy .. ' you fucking piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing? ' and ' Come on you little prick ' etc etc.
I shout down ' Don't do that! Don't say that! ' in complete shock. ' Who the fuck are you? Fuck off ' she shouts back.
I then deliberated on what to do. I felt really angry so ran down the stairs onto the street but she had gone into the bank. And then I ground to a halt and couldn't work out what to do.
So did nothing more. I mean, what CAN you do? Only a bit of swearing after all eh? I have no idea what I would have done if I'd managed to confront her anyway.
I detest this, really hate it. If you swear at your children like this, in the street, then you are a shit parent.
Children's services are way underclass IMO. I had to phone the police when a 3 yr old yet again turned up in my garden (this had been going on for weeks, she'd arrive poorly clothed and stay for hours without anyone looking for her, I had a vague idea of which house she came from but no idea who the parents were) I'd agonised over reporting as the whole situation crept up on me, I had called ss the week before, they were no help what so ever. But on this day, she turned up naked from the waist down, I snapped and immediately called police and hv. Hv were amazing. Police officer turned up, I'd dressed the child by then, he asked for her shoes and I told him she didn't have any as she had arrived half naked and I'd put the pants and trousers on her. He then walked to the gate and told her 'come on then'. I'd already explained to her that I'd had to call police to come and check her mummy was ok, the poor child was clinging to me crying "I don't want to go" I felt awful like I'd betrayed her trust. Whilst I was consoling/encouraging her the policeman said to me 'well you can't come anyway, shut the gate' scooped her up and took her off whilst she cried. He hadn't even gone to check the situation at her house first.
He came back not long after to say 'don't worry they're moving this weekend anyway'!! Like I was only bothered because there was a 'feral' child in my garden! Luckily I happen to know the DI in charge of the relevant dept and spoke to him direct. He assigned it to a DS who sent the PC straight back out to take a statement from me, during which he said 'oh she wasn't fully dressed, you see nobody told me that'. I bloody told him!
The thing that gets me is that if I didn't just so happen to be able to contact the DI direct, the whole thing would have been glossed over and another child would have fallen through the supposed safety net.
Oh I agree...it is horrid and shit and shocking and I would have probably have reacted in a similar way to you. But I think such parents clearly need support to try and help them be better parents as the alternative may not be preferable. Very upsetting to see whenever we see it as you did.
Opinions are a wonderful thing, especially coming from people who have no actual experience of the care system themselves!!!
ps adoption isn't as different thing, sadly there is a 20% failure rate.
I obviously don't agree with your sw friends opinion and cant change that but until children are actually listened to and the above opinion is given a hell of a lot more thought there will always be a string of fatal abuse.
ps. as a hint (that i actually picked up on here) when dealing with ss- reporting someone/something, email children's services-so there's a paper trail and request a read receipt, also try and use phrases such as accountability/culpable- I had no response after my reports(s), I then emailed the chief exec in that area requesting to know who would be accountable if anything happen to the dcs and within hours I had a phone call from a sw!!
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