I get a million pounds a week in benefits

(186 Posts)
usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 13:49:41

And a 30 room mansion in the country with a swimming pool.

Not to mention all my 45 children have horses and go to private school by helicopter.

Are you jealous? Eh?

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 23-Jul-13 14:01:02

Chickens - people can be so generous with other people's money. Makes them look good, costs them nothing.

NinaHeart Tue 23-Jul-13 14:01:26

I'm coming rahnd to burgle your gaff this afternoon....

Clearly the OP doesn't know what she is on about. I nearly believed you until I saw the helicopter part. Running a fleet (45 kids!) of helicopters on £52mill a year. Not possible. You've been reading too much Hello! You just try it, go on, you'll see, it's not as easy as all those rich folks make it out to be.

NinaHeart Tue 23-Jul-13 14:04:45

Do you need a car seat in a helicopter? Can you actually get helicopter seats?

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 14:05:02

Ah but the council provide the helicopter.

I don't have to pay for it.

Viviennemary Tue 23-Jul-13 14:07:52

Enjoy it while it lasts. Except if you're a Windsor then you're exempt from cuts.

TabithaStephens Tue 23-Jul-13 14:10:07

Here's a fable for you all:

Back in the early days when men were first hunter/gatherings, the guiding principle was “to each according to his own production.”

So, if a skillful & diligent hunter went into the woods or onto the plain to hunt food for his family, he got to keep & his family got to consume what he produced.

But as time went on the less skillful & less diligent hunters became envious about what the harder working, better skilled hunters were able to produce.

“Give us some of the game you killed,” they demanded.

And if the harder working, better skilled hunters refused, the others threatened to burn down their shelters & harm their families.

Fearing for their homes & families, whom they could not adequately protect because they were hard at work every day, the harder working, better skilled hunters eventually caved in to those that weren’t & reluctantly shared their production with the less skillful & less diligent hunters.

Thus, the welfare state (safety net) was born.

And the continuing focus remains on how the less productive can force even more from those that work harder & have greater skills, instead of how they might increase their own productiveness.

pianodoodle Tue 23-Jul-13 14:10:24

mamma you'll need to get in quick the website just checks crumbled's bank balance and transfers the money directly.

She must be low on funds now some people on here have been a bit greedy ;)

Pfft a million? I get a zilion billion and I waste it all on buying multiple flat screen TV's for my goats to watch.

Crinkle77 Tue 23-Jul-13 14:12:22

Who is this idiot obsessed with benefits?

Is that all?!

How do you survive?! You must be struggling.

chocoluvva Tue 23-Jul-13 14:13:25

Ooh that's nice.

Twirlyhot Tue 23-Jul-13 14:14:21

grin at TabithaStephens. That's actually the funniest thing on this thread!

IneedAyoniNickname Tue 23-Jul-13 14:14:24

I got given an island, plus the money to run it and servants. I feel you've been let down opsmile

Ah Crumbledwalnuts if you got as much as us in benefits you could buy a sense of humour.

Beastofburden Tue 23-Jul-13 14:17:06

I was given the entire country, in fact you all belong to me, I just haven't mentioned it yet.

Is that all, you're not very good at cheating the system are you?

I claim that much I make Bill Gates look poor.

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 14:18:25

Was that fable from the little book of conservatives?

HighJinx Tue 23-Jul-13 14:18:36

A 30 room mansion for 45 kids? You want to have a word and get moved. You must be living on top of each other in a place that size.

By the way do you have a big fancy car and can you park it straight? wink

SilverOldie Tue 23-Jul-13 14:18:50

Oh you poor, disadvantaged soul OP. How on earth do you manage? Free school meals for the 45(!) children and food banks help I suppose.

Hope you can get a job soon and could be earning, oo, 15k a year, not a measly 1 million a week grin

ANormalOne Tue 23-Jul-13 14:19:04

That's the biggest load of horseshit I've ever heard Tabitha thanks for the laugh though.

JakeBullet Tue 23-Jul-13 14:19:17

Loving this naughty thread.

Runningchick123 Tue 23-Jul-13 14:19:35

Do you get a free helipad to go with the helicopter - I hope yo do as it would be a shame to ruin the lawn and the goats need the grass to munch.
I don't have a goat or a helicopter, I have a heard of African elephants to ferry me around instead as I like to be different and make a proper entrance - them helicopters are all too common these days with the over generous benefits that people get.

envy usual I had no idea.

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 14:20:18

My fancy Q7 is parked askew as we speak.

The bloody chauffeur is crap at parking.

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