To be a bit miffed by what my best friend got DS for his Christening?

(113 Posts)
PaperandNuts Tue 23-Jul-13 12:36:53

She gave him 2 x £1 toys from Poundland.

Now I know it's not about the money, it's the thought that counts - but that's the problem, there doesnt appear to have been any thought!
The toys are cheap tack and one is definitely more a girls toy.
It just seems she has gone for the cheapest, easy option, not thought about what DS might actual want/need/like, they weren't even wrapped and there was no card.
And just for the record, she could afford to spend more on him if she wanted - she is in a very good full time permanent job, pays very little rent on her own pad, owns a house which she rents out, and has no other responsibilities (no partner, children, pets, car, etc.).
She could have also put more time / thought into his gifts - I would rather her have made him something which would have been more personal or quite frankly not even bothered as what she did give just seems a bit pointless / pathetic (sorry, I know I sound ungrateful but I just know she could - and maybe should - have tried a bit harder as she knows it means a lot to me).

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not materialistic or a snob (there is nothing wrong with Poundland - I shop there myself occassionally and that's how I know the gifts were from there!!). I'm by no means loaded either, I do like a bargain, am sensible when it comes to money, come from a working class background etc etc. but this has just upset me a little.

She has been my best friend for years and I have helped her out in many ways in the past including financially (I have lent her money when she really needed it), practically (ie. when she moved house), emotionally (when her relationship broke down), etc etc. - all of which I of course don't mind doing, that's what friends are for.

I just feel a bit miffed about this, plus she didnt even come to the Christening in the end saying she had family stuff to do instead (even though the date had been in her diary for weeks).

AIBU?

londonrach Tue 23-Jul-13 12:42:15

Yes, she doesn't have to buy him anything. Maybe she just thought something he could play with on the day and it didn't matter if broken or thrown away. Mind you I wouldn't for a christening but each to their own. For all you know she might have been busy and not planned ahead and poundland was the only place she could get it. Hope you enjoyed the christening x

ProphetOfDoom Tue 23-Jul-13 12:42:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerchedOnMyPeddleStool Tue 23-Jul-13 12:42:43

Your baby's christening.
Why was ANYONE invited?

thebody Tue 23-Jul-13 12:42:49

yes agree but unless she's generally mean then I guess she may have forgotten and rushed to get anything rather than nothing.

also she doesn't have kids so maybe hasn't a clue.

but yes it's tat.

VinegarDrinker Tue 23-Jul-13 12:44:37

YABU for calling something a girls' toy.

LookMaw Tue 23-Jul-13 12:45:44

Did she get him/you anything when he was born?

Personally I think YABU. But that's probably because a lot of people I know have had christenings despite their atheism, in order to have a party and get gifts and that hasn't made me a bit of a grump. You're probably not one of those people but I can't help the negative vibe I feel from someone complaining about their kids presents not being good enough.

Cravey Tue 23-Jul-13 12:46:41

Se could have made an effort but she has no kids so maybe she doesn't have a clue what to buy. As for not attending maybe she thought her family stuff was a tad more important ? Either way nothing you can do so you just have to move on.

I assume, with your focus on the gift, this was not really a big religious celebration for you? You mention nothing of godparents, the services, but only your expectations for presents?

If so, your friend might just have showed you what she thought of the entire Christening. It is like saying "Ha, you expect silver, let me show you...."

Avondale Tue 23-Jul-13 12:47:53

Was she pissed off she's not a godparent?

miffybun73 Tue 23-Jul-13 12:48:22

YANBU, that just seems really odd to me.

MrsKeithRichards Tue 23-Jul-13 12:49:37

Oh dear, you seem to have commited a few MN sins here, you've criticised a gift you shoudln't have expected and should be eternally grateful for even thought it's shit

You had the audacity to actually invite someone to your child's christening, it's being assumed you are an atheist doing it just for the presents oh and your mates dumping you. Let's not forget there is absolutly no such thing as boy/girl toys. Oh no. Nope. They don't exist.

All in less than 10 posts.

Quick of the marker today peeps.

OP, you're NBU, it's a thoughtless gift and shows a total lack of effort - not bothering would have been preferable.

mynameisslimshady Tue 23-Jul-13 12:49:50

Yabu, your ds will neither remember or care about the presents.

Are you sure she isn't pissed off because after all your years of friendship she wasn't Godmother?

hufflebottom Tue 23-Jul-13 12:50:20

just a tad u, but i can see where you're coming from. least she got something, dd got nothing from her dad (my ex).

you don't know what was going on at the time, could have been anything going on, i know it's tat, but it's the thought, just write it off and try and forget it

Tweasels Tue 23-Jul-13 12:51:01

How old is DS? Is he a baby?

If he's older she may have thought it was more appropriate. If he's under 6 months I would doubt there is anything in pond land that's suitable.

Tweasels Tue 23-Jul-13 12:53:49

Ha ha Poundland not Pond land. That would be even more innapropriate.

mrspaddy Tue 23-Jul-13 12:55:28

We are having a family only Christening. We are only concerned with the sacrament/for the grandparents. Had she bought the baby and arrival gift? Then I don't really think you can ask for anything else. I would have put money in a card to cover the meal cost but wouldn't expect it back.

Panzee Tue 23-Jul-13 12:55:56

mrsKeithRichards a beautiful summing up of the thread!

happyhorse Tue 23-Jul-13 12:56:21

I'm just intrigued to know what baby toy you consider to be more for girls.

I avoid christenings if I can because I think they are the most boring and pointless occasion. Perhaps your friend feels the same. She acknowledged the event by sending a gift, it doesn't matter what that gift was.

LongTailedTit Tue 23-Jul-13 12:56:33

Having read your OP I assumed it was a case of "Don't want to go to the Christening, but I'd said I would, best nip down the shops and get something cheap to give instead".
Just thoughtless really, but then I generally find no one is as interested in my baby as I am, and rarely make the amount of effort I expend on theirs.
Some of us just care more, I'm afraid you just have to sigh, say "Well that was a bit crap" and get over it.

HazelnutinCaramel Tue 23-Jul-13 12:56:39

I think her blowing off the christening itself is actually more upsetting, although I understand what you feel about the presents. YANBU to be hurt.

redskyatnight Tue 23-Jul-13 12:57:12

I wouldn’t expect a friend (who wasn’t a godparent, particularly if they weren’t a Christian – don’t know if that’s the case?) to attend a Christening.
And I wouldn’t expect a friend (who wasn’t a godparent) who hadn’t even attended the Christening to buy a Christening present.

chubbychipmonk Tue 23-Jul-13 12:57:56

That's exactly what I was thinking Mrs Keith. . Totally slated for the sake of slating!

OP ignore the unhelpful comments, YANBU I'd have been pissed off too if my best friend (who I 'invited' to my sons Christening - shock! Horror!) had done that to me.

Does she want children of her own? Is she maybe a bit jealous of your family if she is on her own?

Pigsmummy Tue 23-Jul-13 12:59:37

I wonder if you have offended her in some way? Maybe she was hoping to be god mother? Or maybe she just isn't that bothered about christenings? Some people are funny about them.

If she is fine with you then let this pass, if she is acting a bit weird ask if everything is ok? Don't mention the gift, rubbish as it was.

My best friend is rubbish at buying gifts but this doesn't mean that he doesn't care about DD (whom he is God father to.)

HazelnutinCaramel Tue 23-Jul-13 12:59:53

Is she happy with her single, childless status? If she wants a family, then maybe she's struggling with your good fortune?

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