£425 for 25 hours care...how am i meant to get back to full time work?

(40 Posts)
Shellywelly1973 Mon 22-Jul-13 17:15:04

Ds has ASD & ADHD. When he was excluded from school in Yr1 i had to resign from my job. I earned more then dp but he admitted he couldn't cope with Ds.

Ds was out of school for 14 months. He did spend 1 month in a PRU, he attended for 3 hours aday.

He eventually started school full time 15 months ago. He attends an independent ASD special school. He gets 4 extra weeks holidays in comparison to my other 2 dc.

I've spent weeks trying to get some care for him in the summer holidays, which are 8 weeks long. 1 playscheme has called me back. The cost is £425 per week 10am - 3 pm, works out at £17 per hour. The playscheme only runs for 3 weeks in total. So £1275 for 3 weeks care. Ds recieves 6 hours week restpite from social services so no further help is available to us.

I've been self employed since Ds was excluded. I hate it. Im lonely, don't leave the house all day, can go days without seeing anyone. I don't earn great money. Im desperate to go back to work but how?

Child care is possible for my other dc. I attend so many meetings every term at Ds school full. SALT, O.T, his councillor, his class teacher& his IEP. meetings as well as his annual review. He also goes to Camhs every month.

How do other parents of SN children do it? Ds is 8. Its getting worse not better. I dont have family that can help so really upto me to deal with it all. Dp dosnt 'get it'. I know it sounds awful but i want some sort of life again...aibu?

ThePlEWhoLovedMe Tue 23-Jul-13 19:19:25

Where in London are you ?

Josieannathe2nd Tue 23-Jul-13 17:54:10

I don't know about the money side of things but have worked in various playschemes as a student. Quite a few ppl then would do extra for particular families they had got to know. Is there anyway you could find a student teacher or similar to kidsit for you in the holidays? Or a teaching assistant from your childs school? They don't get paid in the holidays so if they don't have families of their own might be happy to do extra work. Then you could have some time for your business. &some time to take your other kids out.& it could be very flexible

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 23-Jul-13 17:41:01

MrsD its one of the reasons I know I'm exceptionally lucky as if it wasn't for a accident of birth (as even if I factor in my attainment that's what it all comes down to) my life would be screwed.

The only reason I'm able to work eat sleep or even do anything ever is purely down to my grandad favouring me over everybody else and making that known when he died.

Because the support available that you don't have to pay for yourself is shite or minimal if your lucky and I am gobsmacked that more parental carers don't end up doing a beachy head,its one of the reasons I spend a lot of time on the bashing threads trying to challenge the bile.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 23-Jul-13 17:32:24

Shelly with the local offer you don't have to pick the hours you can pick cash its £600 a year and not means testable no other benefits take it into account. So its worth applying just for that.

MrsDeVere Tue 23-Jul-13 12:40:27

I have avoided themsock . To me they mean more intrusion and hassle and they encourage high fees.
If my other kids want to o something it's simple. I book and pay
If my disabled child wants something I have to go through a massively convoluted and invasive process.
Even if it's something I would rather pay for.

Shellywelly1973 Tue 23-Jul-13 11:44:56

Thanks for so many replies & suggestions.

We can't actually afford that sort of money so we won't be using it.

As the last post said i get pissed off with how care is allocated in this borough.

I will carry on working as i am for the foreseeable future- its that or not work, which isn't an option either...unless i get rid of dp!

Its so frustrating, people don't have a clue, unless they end up with a disabled child or family member.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 23-Jul-13 09:06:19

Your right mrsD I missed the line in the bit I was looking at that said carers of a disabled child.

But then again I'm overly biased against the whole system of how they work out who can get them because in our area they are quite shite about giving any support to anybody with a disabled child unless there are other family issues that mean they have to. But yep that's my bad I was predisposed to see a negative before I even read the info sheet I had- I shall spend the next 45 mins on the naughty step.

starfishmummy Tue 23-Jul-13 08:41:39

SN holiday schemes round here are no use for working parents. Social services short breaks do various activities - most are just for two or three hours and all have to be applied for separately. There is a scheme at ds's school but it is just for two weeks and only four hours a day. And nothing in other holidays.

MrsDeVere Tue 23-Jul-13 08:23:27

No Sock you can get direct payments for children.

Monty27 Tue 23-Jul-13 03:55:42

Have you looked into tax credits (as said above)?

Surely you could have an au pair or something for that cost?

The system is so sad for working dms that need childcare. It's all wrong. sad angry

Would you consider recruiting psychology student or the like for the summer? They could start on reduced hours when he's in school to help you out then f/t once they break up.

Mimishimi Tue 23-Jul-13 02:31:00

Can't you split the cost with your DP? Childcare is not just your responsibility.

OMG really? That much?

My Dd2 goes to a vacation program run through the town ( Im in the USA). She does not have any special needs at all. In the program shes in there are a few kids with various forms of special needs,some quite severe. It cost $150 a week. The program runs from 7.30 am till 5.30 pm 5 days a week. From the last week in june till the second week in August. Ive watched the women with these kids when I go to pick up Dd,they are awsome. The kids are all having a whale of a time and each seem to have their own primary carer within the staff.

I cant get over that price shock

JsOtherHalf Mon 22-Jul-13 23:43:06

Each area has their own options for children with a disability, locally children of pre school age upwards can get direct payments.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 22-Jul-13 23:15:14

But you can only get direct payments for someone over 16, would a 16/17 year old be interested in play scheme?

MrsDeVere Mon 22-Jul-13 21:46:56

The SN play schemes are expensive because they expect everyone to pay out of Direct Payments.
Only not everyone gets direct payments.

I feel for you OP. I wish I knew how to help. Its all so bloody complicated and just when you get something sorted it changes.

Me and OH work part time so we can juggle. But even then its tough because OH is disabled and finds it hard to cope with DS now he is so challenging.

In our borough you can't get a sw unless they deem your child to be at risk.

everyone else is stepped down to Early Intervention and Prevention teams.

Tittytats Mon 22-Jul-13 21:32:43

I have an ofsted registered nanny so my tax credits cover a lot of it. I'm by no means well off but it actually works out ok.

Whereisegg Mon 22-Jul-13 20:26:48

I have no experience with sn but you seem to have lots of advice for next years summer holidays, so would it be possible to employ someone to keep your business going over this holiday?

That surely would be cheaper than the only care options available for this year, mean that your business continues, and gives valuable experience to someone?

Sorry if this is a totally shit idea.

hardboiledpossum Mon 22-Jul-13 19:35:47

I didn't read your OP properly.but now see you get 6 hours respite per week only.

Snap childcare specialise in nannies for children with disabilities. They are quite expensive though. could you ask any if the workers who give you respite if they would do holiday care for you?

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 22-Jul-13 19:32:53

Tax credits will still pay for up to 70% towards childcare for a child that age if they are in receipt of DLA, they won't tell you this when you phone and ask but they do until there 17th birthday children who don't receive DLA have there childcare disallowed by TC at a much younger age think its 12.

Or the other option is finding out if your area offer the local offer short break payment scheme as your child is in a special needs school he qualifies and it would pay a huge contribution towards a barnardos (or who ever else runs them in your area) run holiday scheme and you get 90 hours a year and only have to pay a little towards it, this year your to late to get the full 90 hours but you may be eligible for £200 and its none means tested but you will get the full ammount next year (£600 or the 90 hours).

Shellywelly1973 Mon 22-Jul-13 19:31:35

The playscheme for £425 is a local charity. I put Ds name on the waiting lists for all the local charities.

We claim DLA for him. High rate care. Low rate mobility. Its really sad but to be honest hes only been out of the house once since last Tuesday when he finished school. He dosnt like going out. He knows he's different. Hes very able in some respects but socially & emotionally very delayed. When Ds gets scared or stressed he gets physical. Hes restrained almost daily at school. There are members of staff who refuse to work with Ds.

Generally what i do is keep the other 2 dc occupied. We do certin activities all together. But not many things anymore. I end up exhausted as i never get a break from all 3 except when they are at school.

I will look up some more stuff tonight. Thanks for the suggestions.

ihearsounds Mon 22-Jul-13 19:27:28

Different boroughs have different support systems in place. A lot of boroughs have after school clubs for asd that also run during the holidays. Because they understand the effects with change etc, its the same staff that run both. Even if your borough don't run anything, other boroughs take on people.

hardboiledpossum Mon 22-Jul-13 19:22:53

Does he have a care plan with social services?

hardboiledpossum Mon 22-Jul-13 19:13:25

Where in London are you? Mencap are running play schemes in London and also disabled Children's services short break teams often offer these. I work in this area.

ClaraOswald Mon 22-Jul-13 18:28:36

Shelley, are you claiming DLA for him?

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