To restrict dd's access to savings?

(32 Posts)
JackieOHHH Mon 22-Jul-13 13:17:04

Dd is 17 in sept, she keeps banging on about when does she get her money ( saved through birthday/Christmas and other stuff). She knows she's getting it so I told her its locked away il she's 21....firstly is that too old?? And there's another, small account that she will get at 18 approx £1000...she seemed happy about that, but aibu to not let her have the rest til she's 21? It'll be around £2/3k depending on what comes in.

If I give it her before she's 21 it'll lose interest but doubt it'd be much...I just know when I was her age I got a bit at 18 then some at 21 and promptly squandered every penny

JackieOHHH Mon 22-Jul-13 17:23:06

Youthecat - sounds like the same sort of account.....thanks.
Thanks everyone for your input.

ReginaPhilangie Mon 22-Jul-13 18:22:14

I think you should just give her the £1000 and then keep the rest till she's 18. My DSD got a lot of money in compensation (£10k) on her 18th birthday. She had a fantastic year with it, but basically blew it all on clothes and booze. She did get 2 holidays out of it, but nothing to show for it once she turned 19, and she was then skint. She's almost 21 now and she says she wishes she'd saved the money. But it has taught her a valuable lesson about money and she's very good with her money now. Saves up for holidays, paid for herself to learn to drive and passed her test. The only debt she has now is her small overdraft.

possum18 Tue 23-Jul-13 01:10:37

It's not a question of age, but maturity you cant put an age on these things as everyone matures at different times.

Little and often is a good way to prepare dd for financial responsibility and a good way for you to judge if she is ready
i.e give her a few hundred and see what she does!!

Spend it on booze and clothes = limit access
Spend it on books/ invest in cash isa = mature enough to handle the ca$h!!

gnittinggnome Tue 23-Jul-13 09:18:18

Have you actually spoken to her about it? Does she understand that once it's gone, it's gone, and that's that? Maybe make a list of things she could do with it, including a new wardrobe and also helpful things like a car, a deposit for a new flat, travelling, not being a starving student etc. It may be she won't listen, in which case it will be a hard lesson, but she may see the wider context beyond new shoes.

Andro Tue 23-Jul-13 12:20:56

We have the issue that our DC will get access to about 30k each at their 18th birthday (from my dad) and I feel that 18 is too young. Sadly, I don't think there's anything I can do...

You find a way to teach financial responsibility NOW. My father taught me about managing money from an early age, a vital lesson given how much money I had access to once I turned 18 (a lot more than 30k!). Use monthly allowances etc and (very importantly) don't relent if they blow all their cash in the first week and have nothing left for the rest of the month - and that includes spending money on trips out etc. The lesson can be harsh to learn and difficult to teach, but it is really important if they're going to have access to significant money at 18.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 23-Jul-13 12:28:33

Dd has a savings account which she doesn't know about. She's got about 10k in it.

I want her to use it for a house deposit, by the time she's 21 it'll probably have about 20k in it.

I'm not planning on telling her about the money until she's finished her education. She wants to go to uni and I don't want her blowing it on beer and shoes while at uni.

DontmindifIdo Tue 23-Jul-13 12:48:34

I'm going to go against the grain here - it's not a huge sum we are talking about, let's put this in context, £2k would be enough to pay for one fortnight long haul holiday staying in good hotels for one. It's not enough for a house deposit, or even enough to buy a car. If she's going to uni, it's not enough to cover her first year's fees. If she goes to uni without you being able to pay out for fees/housing/spending money, she's going to be at least ten times that in debt at the end. It'll be a drop in the ocean when she's 21. (don't assume she'll be able to get a job to pay for it all, university towns are full of students wanting work, a lot aren't able to find anything)

However, it could be worth her 'wasting' it at 18 to learn about how easy it is to spend a lot of money. Most people learn this at uni, but then they are in the "well, I'm already 15 grand in debt, what's another £500?" mindset. I know so many people it took until they were in their mid-20s to get out of this way of thinking. Spending £2-3k, having a great time/going to uni with some fabulous clothes, but not having got into debt is better than her getting a credit card at 18 with a £3k limit on it and treating that as free money.

If you want her to save it or use it on some big thing, then give it her in one lump sum, not drips and draps. I also think it's odd that you'll control where money goes that she's given for birthdays and Christmases after she turns 18, people will give them to her, will she really hand them over to you to put in savings or will she just put them in her own bank account?

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