Would I be unreasonable to say no to this wedding request, or should I grit my teeth and try?

(206 Posts)
babybearsmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 10:53:26

I'm a cake baker by trade, but since the end of my pregnancy I decided to cut my workload down and only bake for family and friends occasions.

My friend got engaged a year ago and one of the 1st things she did was call to ask me to make her wedding cake and I was very excited for her, especially when we'd get a few mins here and there to plan it.

2 weeks after asking me, she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. I was futted but thought it was their day so no point getting upset.

She messaged me yesterday in a state as the wedding is on Friday and her the company has pulled out of making their cake last week. I've called my suppliers this morning but they can't get everything I need sorted until Wednesday at the earliest, leaving me with just a few hours on weds evening and Thursday evening to make it. I don't have anyone to look after dd as my o.h is working til 7pm this week and his parents are not well and there's no one else close to have her. And I don't think I'd want her to be away all day for 2 days as it's not fair on her (if I'd even get it finished in 2 days as I'd originally planned 4-5 days to get it all done)

So would I be really horrible and unreasonably selfish to say no to her? Or should I just try to get something together for her in the space of those 2 evenings? WWYD?

foreverondiet Mon 29-Jul-13 22:31:20

Just say you'd love to help but sorry its not logistically possible due to timescales.

ProphetOfDoom Mon 29-Jul-13 22:07:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 29-Jul-13 21:00:56
diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 14:16:04

But the cake people didn't let her down, did they?

She chose not to go ahead with anyone else.

So really only herself to blame.

Thumbwitch Sun 28-Jul-13 13:55:15

Cakebitch - not that simple. There was one person in the cake supplier company that the bride wanted to do her cake, and that person was sick. Apparently no substitute within the company was acceptable to her, so she reverted back to the OP instead.

Cakebitch Sun 28-Jul-13 12:37:40

Reputable cake suppliers do not let you down with one week to go.They pull out all the stops , working all night, if they have to
. Whats the betting too that your friend wants you to do it not only ridiculously last minute, but for cheaper than she would have paid??? This is the reason i do not do cakes for friends and family.
Do not do it.

2rebecca Sun 28-Jul-13 12:11:03

Sad your friend has behaved like such a plonker. The bakery didn't pull out, they had one member of staff with an illness. It wasn't an emergency at all, just a bridezilla attack.
Hope she hasn't ruined the friendship and gets over herself and the wedding went well.

BeesGoBuzzzzzz Sun 28-Jul-13 11:15:58

I'm interested to know if op did attend and how it all went.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 28-Jul-13 11:13:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wedding was a few days ago!

SignoraStronza Sun 28-Jul-13 10:57:51

Of course you would not be unreasonable. Point her in the direction of M&S or Waitrose. They do quite a good range and would get them to her in plenty of time for the wedding.

MidniteScribbler Sun 28-Jul-13 10:52:41

It amazes me how helpless some people can be. Cake maker sick - go buy a few packet mixes and some sparkly sprinkles, problem solved. Guaranteed that not oneof her guests would comment about it.

SO??? Did you go to the wedding OP??? and what was the cake like??? grin

Fillyjonk75 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:28:24

^He says weddings are mad nowadays. And bloody expensive for guests.

The thing is people were saying that about weddings nine years ago when I got married. I saw no evidence of madness in our wedding or in any others I went to. Depends who your friends are I think.

Fillyjonk75 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:34

I'd point her in the direction of the John Lewis off the shelf wedding cake department and also their silk flowers. Then she can buy some Fimo and make a cake topper. Sorted.

Basically what I did, except MIL wanted to make the cake, so she did. But it was basically plain white three tier, decorated by silk flowers and a cake topper made by yours truly. I didn't want to spend £350 on something that was hardly going to be seen and then eaten within hours.

WireCat Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:20

If my partner & baby were ill I wouldn't go. Only because the ill partner couldn't look after the ill baby.

Just been talking to my dh about weddings as he saw eat I was reading.

He says weddings are mad nowadays. And bloody expensive for guests.

Euphemia Sun 28-Jul-13 10:15:12

If you didn't go to the wedding you're as rude as her.

I'd have gone, to maintain the moral high ground. You've done nothing wrong - her cake disaster is not of your doing, neither should it trouble you at all to have said no to her.

Cake ruining someone's wedding??? Some people really lose perspective over weddings, don't they?!

CruCru Sun 28-Jul-13 09:52:59

So what happened?

CeliaFate Sat 27-Jul-13 10:39:29

Did you go OP?

diddl Sat 27-Jul-13 10:10:30

It was yesterday, wasn't it, not today?blush

So, c'mon OP.

MNers waiting for an update here!!grin

Hope you're all OK, btw.

Did you go op? smile

Tanith Sat 27-Jul-13 09:52:35

I do agree with MissStrawberry, though.
When did all this Bridezilla-ness start? I got married 18 years ago, they sent the wrong cake and I didn't even notice until I saw the wedding photos - much less cared: it was still beautiful. Wrong colours and decoration, mind. Clashed with my MIL's dress (oh my!).
But the taste? Oh divine!!! smile

CruCru Sat 27-Jul-13 08:44:48

This is a really good thread. Professional cake bakers and weddings.

I couldn't imagine making a proper wedding cake in the heat and presumably (if you're like me), you don't have room in the fridge to keep it.

Hope you have a nice day no matter what happens.

diddl Sat 27-Jul-13 07:58:33

So it's today?

Wonder if she managed to get a cake, or if OP or any of her family are going?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 26-Jul-13 11:01:43

I agree with Thumbwitch, I'm not sure the friendship will survive – or that it'll be much of a loss if it doesn't ...

Sorry your household is unwell and hope you all get better soon!

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