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to say no to this request from a friend?

(1001 Posts)
TidyDancer England Sun 21-Jul-13 10:16:33

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

Brokensoul Mon 30-Sep-13 20:26:27

What happened on the end?

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