To not put up with sulky DP?

(18 Posts)
HenriettaHedgehog Sat 20-Jul-13 14:53:51

Come home from work in an amazing mood last night ready to start my weekend, DP had been away for the week on a trip so was very excited to see him. But instead of the wonderful man I know I love, I was greeted by moodiness, blunt answers and a short temper.

It turns out, he has been under paid by £500. I can understand this is frustrating, but it's clearly just an error. We don't do badly for money, and we both know this will be sorted out eventually. WIBU to have snapped at him? All I said was to cheer up and then when he continued to sulk and be miserable, I went out to avoid an argument.
I deal with sulky children at nursery all day, I do not want to come home to one too! Although today, he is still being sulky and distant dispite me asking if there is anything else on his mind? AIBU to be so uninterested in his bad mood? If it makes a difference, I'm a positive person and have little time for pessimistic people. He does this on average every 3 months and it's always over (imo) issues which aren't a big deal. (In instances where there really is a problem, he's always very pro-active in finding solutions)

Anyway I really wasn't expecting his bad mood to last this long, so now I'm thinking maybe I was being unreasonable? Should I be making a fuss & trying to cheer him up? Or leave him to it and hope it doesn't ruin our entire weekend? Thoughts?

SaucyJack Sat 20-Jul-13 15:00:23

Honestly? I think you sound overly interested in his bad mood tbh.

He's pissed off, and with good reason. Don't make even more of a drama out of it. Go out and amuse yourself for the afternoon.

squoosh Sat 20-Jul-13 15:03:02

I can't stand sulking.

Don't pander to it, attention is the sulker's oxygen.

HenriettaHedgehog Sat 20-Jul-13 15:04:18

Do you mean go out with him or without? I just don't want to ignore the fact he's pissed off and make things worse, but I also don't have the tolerance levels to be around him when he's feeling so sorry for himself.

exoticfruits Sat 20-Jul-13 15:13:00

I would just say 'look- I'm sorry you had a bad day, I can understand why you are fed up, but it isn't my fault and you are spoiling the weekend' - you can either let it go and sort it next week or I will just go out alone.'

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 20-Jul-13 15:46:01

Maybe if you hadn't "snapped" at him it wouldn't have lasted so long.

exoticfruits Sat 20-Jul-13 15:57:58

Don't put the problem on OP! He is responsible for his own moods!

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 20-Jul-13 16:03:39

So being told to effectively "get over it" wouldn't make you feel unappreciated and upset?

All it takes is a quick chat and all would be well.

catinabox Sat 20-Jul-13 16:07:34

Don't pander to it, attention is the sulker's oxygen

That ^^

exoticfruits Sat 20-Jul-13 16:10:44

He is letting her take the blame as in 'if you hadn't snapped I wouldn't be in this mood'.
He probably sulks because his mother let him,rather than snapping at him!

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 20-Jul-13 16:13:05

Sorry all I missed the "every three months" bit, what they^^ all said

HenriettaHedgehog Sat 20-Jul-13 16:46:22

I know I am unreasonable in regards to snapping. I can't expect everyone to be happy around me just because I'm in a good mood, I appreciate that he's entitled to not be in a good mood. However, my main question was AIBU to not "pander" to him? I'm feeling guilty for not having more sympathy and not making an effort to make him feel better, but frankly self pity is the most unattractive quality and rightly or wrongly, I have no patience for it.

exoticfruits Sat 20-Jul-13 16:52:35

YANBU. If you pander to him you are just enabling him.

RaisingChaotic Sat 20-Jul-13 16:55:38

What exotic said.

wordyBird Sat 20-Jul-13 17:03:08

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'm baffled that an error at work, not of your making, causes him to be moody with you. What's it to do with you??

The annoyance itself can understand - I wouldn't expect him to jump for joy. But what's wrong with, aw I'm fed up because X has happened. Never mind, I'll be Ok in a while. Let's go out. or similar response.

I don't think much of sulking.

Ginocchio Sat 20-Jul-13 17:05:33

Henrietta I get like this sometimes. I get in a bad mood about something, which would probably go fairly quickly, but if someone tells me I shouldn't be in a bad mood... well, I'll have a face on me for at least another day...

Don't pander to it, just ignore it and get on with your day. After all, every 3 months isn't really that often to be in a bad mood, is it?

(I should say that I've had experience of people telling me how I should feel, which ended up with me being depressed and needing counselling, so I'm maybe a little more sensitive about this than others...)

zoraqueenofzeep Sat 20-Jul-13 18:56:30

You're complaining because he gets pissed off every three months????!!! Over things you don't consider important. Being underpaid by £500 will piss off most people, his reaction is normal, he's entitled to be annoyed, he's a person, not a performing monkey. yabu.

exoticfruits Sat 20-Jul-13 20:08:10

Of course his reaction is normal but he can deal with it on Monday- there is no need to take it out on those who had nothing to do with it!
He needs to have a moan- then apologise and forget it.

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