In laws have surpassed themselves again

(75 Posts)
LittleMilla Sat 20-Jul-13 14:47:13

New baby (DS2) arrived yesterday and we're all over the moon. DH and I decided on name earlier today - Gil(bert) - and in laws have apparently expressed their dislike already. They did the same with DS1 and put loads of pressure on us to call him something else.

I'm aghast they've yet again felt the need to try and control things. DH is fuming.

What the fuck is wrong with people??!??

Hissy Sun 21-Jul-13 22:20:56

Gilbert is a super lovely name, in fact one of my DS very favourite, very loved and most important toys is called Gilbert.

Congratulations! The world is a better place for another Gilbert! smile

ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 20:40:08

I think it's unbelievably rude to give an opinion on a name choice unless you're asked to and in my post-birth state I'd have murdered anyone who told me they were too embarrassed to use my DD's name.

One of my DM's friends, commented on my DM's status that the name I'd picked for my daughter, a version of Amelia, was a 'Pakis' name. The only reason I didn't kick off was that it was my DM's friend.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 21-Jul-13 20:31:31

The lovely Gareth Malone & Mrs Malone have got a Gilbert (& an Esther.)

Both good old fashioned names so you are in good company &the IL;s can go swivel. smile

Glad your DH is being supportive-congrats to you all!

fedupofnamechanging Sun 21-Jul-13 20:27:35

mayo, my mum probably hoped to talk me out of it, but I liked my choice, so took no notice. My nan and brother didn't have any agenda beyond thinking they were saving my dd from a name she wouldn't like (because if they didn't like it, then why would she? hmm ). Mind you, my brother thought Roxy was an ideal name for my dd, so I don't take much notice of his opinion wink!

I honestly didn't mind that they said what they thought, but then I am used to having a mother who is brutally honest.

babyhmummy01 Sun 21-Jul-13 20:26:29

I agree with karma but there is a big difference between expressing a dislike and being full on rude.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 21-Jul-13 20:24:55

To friend: i hate that dress, why don't you go and change?
To boss: your breath smells
To child: that drawing isn't very good. I won't be showing that one to your granny

basic lack of sensitivity isn't honesty.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 21-Jul-13 20:20:17

It's rude to express a negative opinion about a baby's name unless asked outright. Imo.

mayoandchips Sun 21-Jul-13 19:56:14

karmabeliever, you're a helluva lot more tolerant than i am. What do people hope to achieve by being 'utterly honest' in this scenario? What real input do they think they have in the baby's chosen name? None. Therefore negative comments are useless and hurtful.

babyhmummy01 Sun 21-Jul-13 19:48:15

It's fine to not like the name, what isn't fine is to be rude about it! The embarrassing comment is well out of order!! Good on your hubby for standing up to his parents though!
Hope they behaved themselves

LogonMounstuart Sun 21-Jul-13 19:36:51

Great name- you have good taste. They clearly do not. Therefore that should make their opinion easier to ignore! Congratulations.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 21-Jul-13 19:36:18

I don't think it's rude for family to express their opinion about your choice of name. I have picked names for my children that some members of my family haven't liked and have openly said so. I think there is room, in a family relationship, to be utterly honest about things like this and not have people be mortally offended by it.

In my family, I didn't care if certain relations didn't like my final choices - I liked them and stuck to them and that was that. It's not like they can make you change it.

I have read on here of posters whose families refuse to call the dc by the names the parents have chosen and actually call them something else entirely - now that's rude!

LittleMilla Sun 21-Jul-13 19:31:40

Sooooo ILs have just left. They were relatively well behaved, couple of moments but I feel that I dealt with it ok.

They've decided that he should have the nickname Gibby hmm which I'm not sure about. But simply said that the + of having a name like Gilbert is that it can be shortened to many things and the same way that DS1 has a couple of nicknames, so will this one. That was the end of it.

Dsil went mental at them (apparently) and I think DH has shielded me from the full conversations that have gone on. Anyway, I'm happy with his name, love what it means and am pleased others agree. He's insanely cute and I truly believe his name suits him.

Thank you all x

mayoandchips Sun 21-Jul-13 19:31:12

BlingBang she's just had her baby and you're saying he might be thumped in the future?hmm Not a nice image for a new mum to have.

OP flowers congratulations.

BlingBang Sun 21-Jul-13 19:20:19

How can someone say that Norbert or Derek is embarrassing but not Gilbert? Surely that's just being as rude.

like Gil but not Gilbert. Think a Gilbert would get thumped where I grew up but my kids have names which some others consider common and one in particular should be the class troublemaker.

mayoandchips Sun 21-Jul-13 19:10:51

Lovely name. I wish people would shut their face unless they had something nice to say/ they've actually been asked for their opinion. I've told people what I want to call my son (nine times out of they've asked me what names I have thought of) and I've had nothing but shite for it. I'm scared to ask fellow MNetters what they think on the name threads because I've had such a unanimous 'hatred' for the name, that I'll just feel like an evil mother if I go through with it. I want to be true to myself. OH loves it though.

FYI, I think Gilbert is a gorgeous name, but if I didn't like it I just wouldn't say anything unless I was personally asked, then I would give a reason- 'I personally dislike someone with the same name'/ 'It reminds me of xyz', as opposed to screwing my face up and going 'Yuck, I hate that,' like some bloody toddler. Just tell them they had their chance to name their kids, and that you're 'Sorry they didn't feel like they got it right with theirs first time round that they have to control other people's names.'

As they say round here, tell 'em to get tae fuck.

Lovely name , congratulations!

MIL made it clear that she would be vocal If she didn't like what we chose. I responded by making it clear that I would find that unacceptably, unforgivably rude

Good on you Thisisme123 smile

Sconset Sat 20-Jul-13 23:46:17

madeyedmoodysmum I love that film so much! One of my favourites ever.

SplitHeadGirl What an amazing meaning! How could you not choose that, once you'd seen it? smile

OddFrog Sat 20-Jul-13 23:43:29

My grandad was a Gilbert and he was the most wonderful, loving, kind man. It's a super name with lovely feeling for me. I'm sure your gorgeous Gilbert will grow into just as wonderful a man as the one I knew. Good strong, capable name with nice nn. Tell the inlaws to get stuffed, how rude!

Zyngaling Sat 20-Jul-13 23:36:12

or how about this stealth bitch

"it sounds much fresher to a younger ear than yours"

Zyngaling Sat 20-Jul-13 23:35:04

ach seriously though, back on planet earth! she can't say that! what happen a bit of a head tilt and say like you're pondering it for the first time "yeh, I believe it's quite common for the grandparents to dislike the baby's name ................ but we have chosen it with our generation in mind!".

SplitHeadGirl Sat 20-Jul-13 23:31:42

Thank you!!

It is the MOST beautiful meaning I have heard of!!!

WeleaseWodger Sat 20-Jul-13 23:29:48

If FIL says anything rude, reply... Funny enough, I've always loathed the name x (whatever his is). All the x I've known are (insert insult here, as appropriate.)

If you'd consider changing your name because I dislike it, I might be inclined to change our baby's.
Or, if your hormones are raging, fix them a stare and cooly say .. Really? Because this worked so well when you tried it with first born? Well, we wouldn't want to make YOU uncomfortable in OUR home. And swan off with newborn until they go home. Idiots to try this again.

Twirlyhot Sat 20-Jul-13 23:10:09

That is a really beautiful meaning.

Thisisme123 Sat 20-Jul-13 23:05:17

Congrats OP. 11 weeks to go for me!

We've just been discussing the choosing of names with ILs (although not our chosen names themselves) and MIL made it clear that she would be vocal If she didn't like what we chose. I responded by making it clear that I would find that unacceptably, unforgivably rude.

It's one thing not to like a name, it's another thing entirely to express what you're thinking.

I hope that you and DH are able to express strongly how rude and hurtful they are being if they brin it up again.

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