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AIBU?

AIBU not to tackle neighbour who ran over ds's scooter?

114 replies

redhatnoknickers · 20/07/2013 08:52

We live in a cul-de-sac where there are several young families and some old gits. The under 10s tend to play out in the street most of the day during weekends and holidays, with their balls, bikes, scooters etc. One of our neighbours cannot bear children anywhere near his house and driveway, and regularly goes out to tell the children off. His particular bugbear is bikes being left on the pavement anywhere near his house, even if it's literally for a couple of minutes. Yesterday my 5 year old ds left his bright red and yellow scooter outside this man's house, 3 doors up, for long enough to come inside and drink a cup of water. When he went back out, his brother and the neighbouring children told him that our neighbour had driven down our street to his house, straight over the scooter and into his driveway, then gone indoors. The scooter is totally crushed. (So is ds.) Our neighbour must have seen the scooter before he drove over it, heard the car crush it etc but chose to drive over it anyway. Unfortunately said neighbour is not only a local councillor with plenty of local influence, but also a thoroughly unpleasant individual who thinks nothing of reporting people to the council and the police for any minor or perceived infringement of any rules he sees. I have no particular wish to get into a row with him because the man is vicious, however dh coward that he is, refusing to get involved and my other dc think I'm BU not to confront the neighbour, instead letting ds think it was an accident. I think I may be a coward rather than U, much like dh.... AIBU? What would you do?

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Sparklingbrook · 20/07/2013 08:54

what a miserable old git. I'm not sure what I would do. for your DS.

Justforlaughs · 20/07/2013 08:55

If he mounted the pavement and drove over it I would have taken photos of scooter in situ and taken it up with him. However, if your DS left it in the way of his drive then I wouldn't. Lesson learned.

ThePskettiIncident · 20/07/2013 08:55

Was the scooter on his drive, the road or the pavement?

If just on the pavement, your neighbour is an arse and v unreasonable.

I would be going round to talk to him, but I'd also be telling my Ds not to leave his things lying around in other people's way.

fledtoscotland · 20/07/2013 08:55

YANBU

We had a similar type neighbour who complained about his pavement and the children weren't allowed to walk in it. Sad as it was when he died but the road is a much nicer placer

I would speak to local police for their advice

Sparklingbrook · 20/07/2013 08:56

He's lucky it didn't damage his car.

We have a bloke like that up our road. He stands in his bay window with his hands on his hips ready to bang on the window at the DC for anything he deems wrong.

VirgoGrr · 20/07/2013 08:59

I interpreted that as meaning that the scooter was on the pavement in front of his drive and was driven over for the neighbour to park. I think you'd be justified in grumbling as its causing damage to a kids toy for no other reason than just being shitty, but I probably would explain to DS why it happened...
Lol at ask the police.

helenthemadex · 20/07/2013 09:00

if it was across his driveway its a harsh lesson for your ds, but I would still go round and complain it is not his pavement, it is not his road everyone has as much right to use it as he does. By doing nothing you are giving a message that what he has done id ok he has deliberately damaged property, that is not on I would probably consider ringing 101 and getting advice

YellowDinosaur · 20/07/2013 09:01

What thepskettiincident said.

I can understand your reticence to get involved but surely standing up for your son is more important.

This man is a bullying cunt. I'd be going and knocking on his door and saying something like 'i Hope it makes you feel all big and strong and manly to destroy something of a Childs to make a point. Please be assured that we will not lie down and take your petty bullying and if you don't replace it then I will be calling the police'

If it was actually on his drive I might respond slightly differently and leave out the police thing but I'd
be furious and don't think his response is reasonable.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 20/07/2013 09:01

When I was younger we had a ndn like this. However he took it one step further. He tried to run over one of the children who lived on the road whilst they were playing on the pavement outside our house. He mounted the pavement in his van and tried to hit the little boy who was on a scooter. He went to court for it and escaped a custodial sentence by the skin of his teeth. I think they were only lenient because he had recently lost his wife. He moved shortly afterwards. I would just be thankful that your dc wasn't on the scooter at the time!!!

PlatinumStart · 20/07/2013 09:04

I'd contact the police - say you're extremely worried about the man who has been seen driving erratically and only yesterday failed to even notice that he had run over a scooter...say that you're concerned he is losing his eyesight and he is not safe to drive...could they have a word

YellowDinosaur · 20/07/2013 09:05

Cross posted with lots of you.

I think by ignoring this or putting up with it is exactly why bullies like this get away with it.

The fact that he is a local councillor and has a history of bullying behaviour might actually make me go to the local press with this one if he didn't apologise.

If he's going to behave like a cunt he should be happy enough to defend why he's destroyed a Childs possession when it was on a public pavement for no reason other than wanting to be king of his fucking castle.

People like this really boil my loads. If enough people stiff up to him I bet he'd back off. Cunt.

redhatnoknickers · 20/07/2013 09:06

The scooter was on the pavement in front of the driveway so yes, it was in the neighbour's way - which was doubtless annoying and ds shouldn't have left it there even for a moment or two. However, there were plenty of children around - surely neighbour could have stuck his head out of his car window and asked one of them to move it? Tbh I'm fully expecting him to claim his car is damaged at some point today....

OP posts:

YellowDinosaur · 20/07/2013 09:08

Loads = piss

Stiff = stand

Thanks dyac.....

YellowDinosaur · 20/07/2013 09:11

If his car is damaged tough fucking shit that will teach him to look where he is going.

If it wasn't actually on his drive but on the pavement in front of his drive that's his own problem and he can go whistle if he's going to claim any damage to his car is your son's fault.

I'd still be having a word although I like platinumstart's idea of calling the police and saying they're concerned about his eyesight :o

redhatnoknickers · 20/07/2013 09:13

Like PlatinumStart's idea very much - snort!!

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YellowDinosaur · 20/07/2013 09:13

I'd get annoyed by the way if I constantly had to get out of my car to move toys that prevented me driving onto my drive. But I wouldn't be a cunt about it I'd have a word with their parents and ask them to tell their kids to leave their toys out of the way.

But if he's like this about the whole pavement near his house he's behaving like a wanker.

Runningchick123 · 20/07/2013 09:14

Are you sure that your neighbour saw the scooter? I've no doubt he would have heard it crunch, but its too late by then. I can't see the road directly in front of my bumper when I'm driving and would have been focusing on getting into my drive without hitting the driveway posts or hitting any children (who you say are often out playing), so wouldn't have been looking out for stray scooters. I also wouldn't have come to apologise about the scooter because I'd be too hacked off about any potential damage to my car because your son left his scooter in the road.
I'd tell my son off for not looking after his belongings and put it down to experience.

MeAndMySpoon · 20/07/2013 09:14

You don't run over personal property just because it's in your way!! I don't care if it was temporarily impeding his car - a civilised person would just not do this! 'Harsh lesson for your DS' ffs. Truly, what sort of person would not stop their car, tut a bit, move the offending item and then drive on? Maybe have a moan at the parents, fair enough, but not destroy the scooter!

OP, you are completely within your rights to have a go at this old sod. He is probably unlawful in destroying property on the public pavement even if it was left directly in front of his drive. Personally, I'd go to the police. He's a bully but people let him be one. Why don't you be the one to put your foot down?

MeAndMySpoon · 20/07/2013 09:15

Yes, THIS, in fact:

This man is a bullying cunt. I'd be going and knocking on his door and saying something like 'i Hope it makes you feel all big and strong and manly to destroy something of a Childs to make a point. Please be assured that we will not lie down and take your petty bullying and if you don't replace it then I will be calling the police'

(Tell it like it is, Yellow...! )

Scholes34 · 20/07/2013 09:15

No excuse for running over the scooter, but you can see how you might be somewhat aggrieved by your cul-de-sac constantly being covered in toys.

Our quiet streets are full of learner drivers, as we're on the driving test route. Waiting behind a learner driver parallel parking very slowly only adds a few minutes to your journey, but when it's the third one you've encountered in less than 500m I can feel myself being wound up by it and my driving can become a little more aggresive than I would like to admit to.

Perhaps you need a street party to get all residents together. We've had a couple and it's a marvellous way to get to know everyone. You might find the old gits are not so gittish after all. They might even begin to like your children.

whois · 20/07/2013 09:17

NDN is a dick, but your DS really shouldn't be leaving things infront of people's driveways. I'd have been pretty posses off if I kept coming home and there were things in the way of my drive. Doesn't excuse neighbour driving over the scooter tho.

ThePskettiIncident · 20/07/2013 09:19

He's an arse then. The pavement is not his private property and he should have moved it.

I would go round and talk too him about it. And I'd ask a pcso to have word with him. If he's a councillor he has a duty to his community and that makes his behaviour all the more unreasonable. I bet he won't like a public shaming for his actions.

MeAndMySpoon · 20/07/2013 09:20

OP, is your cul-de-sac completely covered with toys? I can understand certain types of old gits building a simmering resentment that can bubble up into this type of totally unreasonable behaviour if so, so perhaps you and the other families need to get together and try to get your DC to be a little less cavalier in the way they leave their bikes, etc, around. That said, there is still NO excuse for deliberately destroying something in this way. I'm shocked that some MNers think it's harsh but fair.

redhatnoknickers · 20/07/2013 09:21

I take your point RunningChick123 but I really do think the scooter would have been visible. It was bright red and yellow, and neighbour would have swung into the driveway from the road making it highly unlikely he didn't see it. Nothing is 100% I grant you, but I doubt he genuinely didn't see it. However you're right - ds shouldn't have left it there. Usually all the local children are very vigilant about not leaving things around that house, precisely because they know what this neighbour is like. Ds is only 5 and made a mistake. I can see both sides but I do think the neighbour was harsh.

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redhatnoknickers · 20/07/2013 09:25

Our street isn't littered with an obstacle course of forgotten toys, no There are about 8 to 10 children who play in a little group and often leave their bikes and scooters out and about. The older ones are sensible and the little ones a bit haphazard, but they're all sweet children and not deliberately trying to upset anyone - they're just being children.

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