To find it difficult to be gushingly pleased that DS made breakfast?

(27 Posts)
froggies Sat 20-Jul-13 08:40:02

7.30am this morning, I was woken up by DD(7) asking if I wanted bacon or sausages. I woke up very quickly panicking that she had decided to cook!

Turns out DS(16) had decided he wanted a cooked breakfast, but there was too much for him to eat himself, so he was cooking breakfast for everyone.

Ordinarily I would be well impressed that he is conscious at 7.30 in the morning given that he usually appears for breakfast when everyone else is eating lunch, but that early on a Saturday morning, when no one needs to get up, and me and DD2(4) are still asleep has actually just pissed me off.

He then asked what kind of eggs I would like (actually I didn't want a cooked breakfast, the thought of one that early was actually making me feel a bit sick), then moaned when I said he couldn't use the eggs as I need them to make his birthday cake - I am not paying the extortionate price of eggs in the local shop (we are one of those living on tax credit families), it is 40 miles to the nearest supermarket, and I cannot guarantee the chickens will lay enough eggs to replace them (that I can find) by Monday morning.

Then he moaned when I said that I wasn't going to wake up DD2 for breakfast, she was up at 6.30 yesterday (I was up at 4.30 yesterday - bloody cockerel), and she was in bed late last night, her sleeping past 7 is a miracle, and she is hard work when she is tiered.

Now I am sat in the kitchen having eaten the breakfast that I didn't really want (well most of it), trying to show my appreciation that DS has actually done some cooking without being badgered into helping, and looking at the pile of dirty dishes he has left behind. I am NOT a morning person, and now I just feel grumpy. Could he not have waited until everyone was awake?

Now he keeps coming and lecturing me about fucking zombies and vampires. Someone please make him shut up.

pinkyredrose Sat 20-Jul-13 09:52:23

You could always try being pleased that he was trying to do something nice for you and thank him?

I wouldn't blame him if he didn't bother again.

If someone poured some cereal or put bread in the toaster for me I would probably cry with how grateful I would be!

Then again no one has made me food/drink in a very very long time.

Its sad I know but if I woke to a fry up, Jesus, that boy would have become my favourite child! grin

OnTheNingNangNong Sat 20-Jul-13 09:56:49

At least he didn't wake you to have you make him breakfast

Fairylea Sat 20-Jul-13 10:00:23

Your 16 year old son made you and everyone breakfast at 7.30am and you're upset??!

I'd be over the moon. It's sweet really. And 7.30 is hardly the crack of dawn, it's a lie in at our house.

I know you're a bit annoyed about the eggs etc but in all honesty he was trying to be nice.

DuttyWine Sat 20-Jul-13 10:01:25

Is the cockerel yours? If it is yabu for complaining it woke you up at 4.30.

Have a look at yourself, OP. You moan when he sleeps in, you moan when he gets up at a respectable hour, make your mind up. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't bother from now on and stays in bed all day. Why do people have to be such arseholes to teens? Poor lad.

froggies Sat 20-Jul-13 10:06:09

I did indeed say thank you, but really, he wasn't trying to do something nice for me. We had a discussion on holiday a couple of weeks ago about cooked breakfasts, and how he loves them, but I really don't like fry ups and can only really manage them if breakfast is a mid-morning affair, that I would much rather have a cup of tea and bowl of cereal for breakfast.

He was very clear this morning, that HE wanted a fry up, and HE was up and hungry at 7.30, so he chose to cook a meal even though half of the people in the house were still in bed and asleep, and expected everyone else to get up and eat it and be happy about it.

Onthenight. Yep, on that I am grateful, he has moved forward grin

forevergreek Sat 20-Jul-13 10:08:55

I would say how grateful you are.

Then say if pretty possible could you keep breakfast bonanzas to after 8am if half are asleep ( or just make smaller)

Although our 2 and 3 year olds only woke 15 mins ago so I'm hoping they won't decide to get up super early as they grow.
However they are now sitting on our bed making a mess as dh just came in with crossiants for everyone, so crumbs everyone! Luckily we wash bedding on sat.

Emilythornesbff Sat 20-Jul-13 10:12:20

grin
I would sympathise but I am stil too envy of your 7.30 wake up having been awoken at 6am for the last 2 years. grin

EatYourCrusts Sat 20-Jul-13 10:14:30

You do sound a bit ungrateful and miserable. It isn't as if he woke you at 3am to eat a pile of dirt.

MrsKeithRichards Sat 20-Jul-13 10:14:31

My 7 year old made us pudding last night. We got a Rocky cut cut in half, 5 midget gems and 5 grapes each. Nicely arranged on a plate. Best pudding ever!

YANBU. He's done something to suit himself so why should you wet your knickers over it. Sounds like he isn't pulling his weight around the house on a day to day basis and at his age he should be. Don't think any family member should be gushed over for doing some chores - should be par for the course

froggies Sat 20-Jul-13 10:15:58

Dutywine yep, unfortunately cockerel is mine. It will see the pot if it does that again.

Trills Sat 20-Jul-13 10:16:35

I couldn't eat a fry up at 7.30 either.

Lj8893 Sat 20-Jul-13 10:18:09

Send him to my house please!

Bunnygotwhacked Sat 20-Jul-13 10:23:34

I would probably feel the same way as you although you know he has tried and you should be grateful I would still make him do the dishes

diddl Sat 20-Jul-13 10:30:00

I'm with OP tbh.

I'm not quite sure why she should be grateful to be woken up for a breakfast she didn't want.

Why didn't he just cook enough for himself & anyone else who was already up & wanted it?

Xihha Sat 20-Jul-13 10:30:01

Ah 7.30am, how i miss the days i was still in bed then and then to have breakfast i didn't have to make, that's the kind of morning i dream of. I think it was really sweet.

I do agree about not waking your daughter up though, tired 4 year olds are horrible.

HamwidgeAlive Sat 20-Jul-13 10:33:55

My 2yo woke at 5.45 having vomited. I know which I'd prefer!

Emilythornesbff Sat 20-Jul-13 10:37:30

It wasn't really a thoughtful deed though was it.
He messed up and cooked too much.
Woke ppl up when they would rather have been sleeping
Wasted ingredients that will need replacing. Food is very expensive these days
And has left a mess.

say thank you and have him clean up.

DonutForMyself Sat 20-Jul-13 11:03:15

I feel for you OP, my sleep is precious and there's no way I could eat a fry up before 10am and 2 cups of tea!

However, it might be an idea to try and encourage the positives, tell him it was really well cooked, how you appreciate the thought, but maybe next time he could wait until everyone is up and ready to eat, so that you can all appreciate his efforts properly. Also tell him that part of cooking is clearing up afterwards, so the extra washing up he has created needs doing at some point today.

The eggs/cake thing is a bit harsh, especially if you have your own chickens. Even at local shop prices, 6 eggs will only be 50p more than supermarket prices, which, given that its his birthday, isn't a huge ask even on a budget. Perhaps for his birthday you could make him a big breakfast instead and stick a candle in it?!

Aniseeda Sat 20-Jul-13 11:04:59

YANBU. I have three teenagers who all like a lie in. As do I.

If I still had a four year old who was waking at crack of dawn (which I had for many a long year!) I would not appreciate being woken by someone else on the rare occasion the four year old actually slept a bit longer.

I don't understand why he could not take what he needed for his own breakfast, cook it and leave the rest in the fridge for everyone else to have when/if they wanted it.

If it was a DH who had done this, everyone would be telling you to LTB!

I would thank him, but tell him, in future, never to wake me on a Saturday morning unless there was a dire emergency and I'd also have him wash up (I might dry and put away if feeling kind!) and this would be a good time to show him how to clean up a kitchen after being creative in it - see it as a favour to your future DIL!

I have a 13 year old DD who loves baking which is great but she knows she has to clean up after herself (I do help her but am not doing it all while she swans off having done the fun part!)

froggies Sat 20-Jul-13 11:27:13

Aniseeda, oh, I did say thank you, I also explained after saying it was a nice thing to do and I appreciated it (hopefully politely) that it would have been a better idea to wait until everyone was awake. This was the point when he told me that he was hungry at that point, so he cooked then.

I popped up to his room a little while ago to ask him to do the washing up, as DD's are painting and it is coming up to lunch time, so it needs to tidied so that I can then wash painting things and make lunch. He is asleep.

So, much though I was very tempted to wake him up and make him wash up the mess, I really cannot be arsed with the amount of moaning it will cause from him, so he can wash up the lunch dishes later on.

Donutformyself I know the eggs sound harsh, but honestly, he eats everything, often before anyone else gets a look in. Biscuits, crisps, juice, yogurts, fruit, bread.... I go to bed and come down in the morning and see what is left. When it is gone, it is GONE until I next go shopping (and often leaves half of the blanced meals i cook for him because he 'isnt that hungry'. He is getting driving lessons for his birthday, it is also dd's birthday next month, all three of them need new school uniforms this year, i have said yes to him having a load of his friends over camping in the garden to celebrate his birthday, at some point I have to draw the bloody line. He could have used the eggs, and if there weren't enough for me to make him a birthday cake he would have been the first one to complain that I hadn't told him.

I love him dearly, and he does have lots of positive points - but in terms of his consideration for others and how much he helps around the house, he was better when he was 12! I do however see occasional glimpses of that coming back, so I am hoping that at some point he will be human again.

AudrinaAdare Sat 20-Jul-13 11:39:21

Lecturing you about zombies and vampires? My six yo is doing this right now. I don't think I can take another ten years of it shock

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