DPs ex insisting on having MY address?

(217 Posts)
GirIFiend Fri 19-Jul-13 20:46:11

DP and I been together 10 months.

His DS who is 8 has always stayed with DP and DP's parents at their house which is where DP lived until 6 weeks ago when he moved in with me.

Last month DSS came to stay at my house to meet me and my DSes on his agreed contact weekend.

The plan was the same for this month but out of the blue DP's ex has texted saying she wants MY address or DSS will not be coming shock She says she has the right to know where her DS will be staying.

Can she insist on this?

Spero Fri 19-Jul-13 21:35:30

Dadthelion - I said he sounds like a nasty prick. Ad I stand by that. He is refusing to let the mother have the address AND is sending nasty, pompous, vaguely threatening texts about it.

Ergo, nasty prick.

WafflyVersatile Fri 19-Jul-13 21:35:49

I do agree that she shouldn't deny contact.

Doodledumdums Fri 19-Jul-13 21:37:00

Got to be a wind up surely?! If not then i'd seek legal advice before your partner starts telling her what the court may or may not view favourably, because I think you'll find you are both totally wrong!

If being a good mother means i'm 'Nosy' then tattoo pinocchio on my forehead!

Spero Fri 19-Jul-13 21:38:37

There is no 'legal right' to have an address as far as I know but, as I have said, I cannot recall a case where an address could be withheld in this situation UNLESS harassment an issue.

What on earth is the problem with one ex reassuring the other. Why people want to behave like this I have no idea. Very petty, silly and sad.

HamsterDam Fri 19-Jul-13 21:39:42

so he is threatening to take her to court rather that give her YOUR address?
nasty and petty behaviour from both of you.
put the poor kid first if you're capable of that.

Spero Fri 19-Jul-13 21:40:24

I think she would not be criticised for refusing overnight contact if the address is withheld. She is entitled to know also if the property is suitable if the child has a bed etc.

I would be quite suspicious about what they were trying to hide.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit Fri 19-Jul-13 21:41:09

Blimey, your user name really suits you. hmm

TheFallenNinja Fri 19-Jul-13 21:41:46

YABU.

When it comes to families that have been broken apart it's not entirely unreasonable to expect grown ups to behave like grown ups.

Sometimes we have to make concessions and consider other people's feelings.

WandaDoff Fri 19-Jul-13 21:42:42

biscuit

Zyngaling Fri 19-Jul-13 21:42:50

Run for the hills. This guy would rather go to court than give his children's mother the reassurance she needs? I've been through court three times and it's a very stressful business. When I move I will give my x my new address. (we had an extremely acrimonious split too)

Notmadeofrib Fri 19-Jul-13 21:43:59

Heat stroke, a clear case of heat stroke. Lie down dear and take on fluids. Have something sweet biscuit

Why don't you want her to know?

TidyDancer Fri 19-Jul-13 21:45:36

OP, you're not a very nice person are you?

Of course it's reasonable for a parent to want to know the address of where their child is staying overnight. She's not stopping him staying, she's putting an extremely understandable and more than reasonable condition on it.

You are seriously heartless and totally ridiculous if you genuinely don't understand that.

Icantstopeatinglol Fri 19-Jul-13 21:46:23

Yabu, I am a stepmother and mother and we have had numerous issues with my dh ex but I would never have an issue with her having my address! Every mother or father has the right to know where their kids are.

TSSDNCOP Fri 19-Jul-13 21:48:11

Mostly I think you're a wind up given you claim to have DC but cannot see his EDW point.

If he didn't live with you I'd actually err on the side of saying the EDW doesn't have a right to your address. if the DC is with it's DF, then is it the business of the EDW to know the child's whereabouts.

But your living together is a whole new ball of chalk. And you are massively out of line for enabling your DP to avoid answering a straightforward question.

How the bloody fuck would you feel?

needaholidaynow Fri 19-Jul-13 21:48:25

I remember when DP and I moved in to our first house and he didn't give his ex our address for quite a while. He always met her when it came to dropping their daughter off/ picking her up. They were both as bad as each other really because she didn't want him having her number so all contact over the phone was done through his ex's mother.

I thought it was so petty and childish of them, and I felt like banging their bloody heads together!!!!

OP, unless there is a risk of any of you being harassed by her if she is a bit of a loon, then give her your address. Just so she knows where her child is. smile

Viviennemary Fri 19-Jul-13 21:51:40

I think a Mother has absolutely every right to know where her child is spending time. This is probably just the start of the difficulties so maybe this kind of arrangement is just not for you.

boymeetsworkd what other threads? I can't find any.

OP yabvu but you already know that

TalkativeJim Fri 19-Jul-13 21:56:18

Oh I see.

You actively want to be on bad terms with the other half of this poor little boy's parenting 'team'. Right, that's different then.

I'm sure you've got your reasons, probably something to do with being as much of a prick as your delightful new boyfriend. Oh well.

Methe Fri 19-Jul-13 21:57:00

Good God, YABU. You both sound like arseholes.

Methe Fri 19-Jul-13 21:57:57

That is you ad your dp. His ex sounds quite normal and reasonable.

Namechangingnorma Fri 19-Jul-13 21:59:52

as a step mother without dcs of my own I think you are totally mad. DH's ex not only knows where we are but she is more than welcome in my house as I am in hers. we get on well, this is what is best for dsd, stop being so selfish! if you are going to have a partner with kids then you should do everything you can to have a good relationship with the ex

imademarion Fri 19-Jul-13 22:00:08

For crying out loud, put your ego aside and think if the child and his mother. Be civilised or at least civil and grow up.

She is entrusting you with her child.

Please return the complement by letting her know where he/she will be.

And yes, read some stepparenting threads.

This really isn't all about you.

BoyMeetsWorld Fri 19-Jul-13 22:01:33

Fatima - search user name GirlFiend. There's one called Architecture Management or the like which mentions the OPs DH...conveniently at the end of that she also 'forgets her details' and switches to username They Saw Me Coming . Hmmmm.

kim147 Fri 19-Jul-13 22:02:30

If this thread is real then a quick question:

What was your DPs thought? Does he think his ex should have the address?

Or is this your decision?

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