DPs ex insisting on having MY address?

(217 Posts)
GirIFiend Fri 19-Jul-13 20:46:11

DP and I been together 10 months.

His DS who is 8 has always stayed with DP and DP's parents at their house which is where DP lived until 6 weeks ago when he moved in with me.

Last month DSS came to stay at my house to meet me and my DSes on his agreed contact weekend.

The plan was the same for this month but out of the blue DP's ex has texted saying she wants MY address or DSS will not be coming shock She says she has the right to know where her DS will be staying.

Can she insist on this?

CocktailQueen Fri 19-Jul-13 20:47:16

Well, from her POV, yes, I would like to know where my dc were staying when not with me!!

Hassled Fri 19-Jul-13 20:48:32

I don't know is she can insist on it but it seems completely reasonable to me. I would be very uncomfortable not knowing where my 8 year old was staying. What's the problem in just letting her know?

ProphetOfDoom Fri 19-Jul-13 20:48:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spero Fri 19-Jul-13 20:48:41

Why so shocked? Do you think she will come round and harass you? I would want to know where my 8 year old was.

kim147 Fri 19-Jul-13 20:48:54

There's a thread on chat where the mum wants to know where her DS is staying the night with ex.

I think it is good for a parent to know where their child is staying in case something happens.

IneedAyoniNickname Fri 19-Jul-13 20:49:08

I've asked my ex for his address (he lives with his gf) he's refused to give it though.
However, I haven't stopped the dc going purely because its not fair on them.
Personally I think she does have a right to know where her dc is staying.

MissStrawberry Fri 19-Jul-13 20:49:18

Why wouldn't you want to give her your address? Of course she has the right to know where her child is.

moanymandy Fri 19-Jul-13 20:49:58

yabu. if your dp has moved in dss will obviously be a regular visitor to your house.

I too would insist on knowing where my dc are staying.

Spero Fri 19-Jul-13 20:50:38

And fwiw if it went to court I think it most likely she would be given address unless she wants simply to cause trouble.

NatashaBee Fri 19-Jul-13 20:50:38

I don't think she's being unreasonable.

DearPrudence Fri 19-Jul-13 20:50:54

Have I got this right? Your partner has moved in with you even though you've never met his son? This is all arse about face

As for the original question - YABU

selsigfach Fri 19-Jul-13 20:51:24

Of course she is entitled to know where her young son is staying. And quite right about not permitting him to go to an unknown address. YABVVU for making an issue about this.

Leviticus Fri 19-Jul-13 20:51:35

YABU. She needs to know where her child is. Why don't you want her to know?

chandellina Fri 19-Jul-13 20:51:48

What if it were your ds in that situation? It's totally reasonable.

Doodledumdums Fri 19-Jul-13 20:51:51

Sorry, I am on her side! I would absolutely refuse to allow my son to stay at an unknown location, I don't think she is being unreasonable at all.

Why would you not want her to have it?

Leviticus Fri 19-Jul-13 20:53:05

Oh and it's not just YOUR address any more is it?

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 19-Jul-13 20:54:44

Yabu

She has every right to know where her DS is staying.

Ezio Fri 19-Jul-13 20:55:02

I'd like to know where my DD was when shes with her dad. What if something happened and she needs to get to yours.

thegreylady Fri 19-Jul-13 20:55:09

She is being perfectly reasonable.Surely you would want an address where your own children would be staying even if they were with the father.She would be unreasonable if she didn't want to know.You would be unreasonable not to tell her.

MyPrettyToes Fri 19-Jul-13 20:55:23

If your DP has moved in with you it is now HIS address too. She has a right to where her son will be. YABU.

scottishmummy Fri 19-Jul-13 20:56:05

Damn right she can insist on knowing where her child will be staying
And what's more I'd do a drive by reccy to see location,and I'd be asking your suitability
You're needing to be more aware of how a mother feels entrusting her child to ex new girlfriend

lunar1 Fri 19-Jul-13 20:56:21

What on earth is wrong with you? She is his mother and has every right to know where he is. It doesn't bode well for the future if you are this petty now.

babyhmummy01 Fri 19-Jul-13 20:56:54

As a step mum even I think yabu! I am not a mum in my own right yet (4 more weeks) but even I can understand why she wants to know.

When I met DP's kids I offered his exw the chance to meet me so she knew who I was etc. I might be naive but she is their mum and in her shoes I would want to know who my kids are with and where they are.

Unless you have something to hide I am not sure I understand why you are up in arms about it

HatieKokpins Fri 19-Jul-13 20:57:11

YABVU. She has every right to know where her child is.

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