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When cultures Clash..I refuse to give my father-in-laws name to my son.

(557 Posts)
orangebee1 Fri 19-Jul-13 12:13:50

Ladies, last week i delivered twins, one boy and one girl. My husband is Greek and tradition here dictates that the grandson must be named after the grandfather.
I am English and it's unthinkable to me that i can't choose my son's name. I am happy to have the grandfather's name (Yiorgos) as a middle name, but certainly not the first one and am insisting that my huband and i find a name we BOTH want.

I delivered by c-section and after two days (when i was still in the hospital recovering!) what should have been a joyous occasion turned into tears and arguments over the name choices - i wrote the names my husband and i had agreed on on facebook and his family saw and all hell broke lose.

My husband was so taken upset by his family's reaction, he was crying and distressed and finally changed his mind about the names.

As yet the babies are unamed and referred to as "the boy" and "the girl".
His sister says to me "you have three children now, what is it to name one of them after the grandfather - he has only one life and waited all of it until this day for his name to be passed on".

Am i being unreasonable??? Would you name your child a name you really do not like at all to keep the peace???

TheQueenOfSparta Thu 25-Jul-13 12:24:33

"But, but, OP, you are just a woman. what you said there, does not really count! Remember, you are in Greece."

Oh please! I am Greek and live in Greece, this hardly Iran where women have no say!
Women in Greece do not take their husband's last by law. And we can choose our DC's names. It is tradition, yes, but only very old-fashioned people follow it. My sister and her DH chose the names they liked and no one made a fuss about it.

crunchbag Netherlands Thu 25-Jul-13 12:42:11

I can't believe people are still saying, 'oh just call him George'
OP doesn't like the name and she and her 'd'H agreed on a different name.

wellthatsdoneit Thu 25-Jul-13 13:17:18

Maybe the OPs FIL has been badgering the Cambridge's too. He's a tenacious old rascal.

zipzap Thu 25-Jul-13 16:11:14

If the PIL have still been messing you around and not responding to your massive olive branch by saying that you have given in to their demands and are calling the baby Yiorgis, and if they haven't spoken nicely to your dh since, then, given the royal baby has just been named George, I'd say screw you that you obviously can't call the baby Yiorgis/George now as the royal baby has been called that and you don't want to be accused of copying them (time to suddenly become a republican if you weren't already!) and that therefore you're going to revert to your original plan of calling the baby original name 1, original name 2, plus Yiorgis stuck in at the end for good measure.

OP, I hope that your family have stopped beating you up about the baby's names and that they are unconditionally supporting you and the twins and your dd and dh - and that you are feeling more recovered physically and mentally after the hammering you've taken after the last couple of weeks!

anonacfr France Thu 25-Jul-13 17:06:58

I have a horrible feeling that the OP is not having a great time right now. I hope you come back!

riskit4abiskit Thu 25-Jul-13 21:23:29

Congrats on the birth of your twins op. I have unlurked to add my best wishes and to say go with your original names, esp as the greek poster above said that this is not a widespread tradition any more. Also agree with the other posters who said that this naming issue could just be the tip of the iceberg. Good luck

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 26-Jul-13 05:43:48

How are you doing OP? Hope you are ok

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