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to not want to travel in a car with DD that my little sister is driving?

(35 Posts)
CheeseFondueRocks Thu 18-Jul-13 14:02:53

She is 18 and has literally just passed her test a couple of months ago.

In a few weeks, DH, DD (17 months) and I, are going to my home country for a holiday and we won't have a car there. Generally, this isn't an issue as there are enough cars in the family to go around but this year, people are away on holiday and otherwise busy.

I know that at some point, I will be offered/asked to to be given a lift by my youngest sister and while I would be happy to accept if I was by myself, it just doesn't sit right with me with a young child in the car. It would be different if it was driving withing the town but it's motorways/ fast traffic areas without speed limits and up to 3 lanes. She also doesn't have her own car, just shares with other family members so it's not like she gets that much driving practice.

I am a very cautious person, so this obviously plays into my feelings. This won't case an argument btw, I just want to know how other parents would feel about this.

we got a lift from our nephew when we were back home and he had just passed his test - was probably the safest drive i've ever been on!

<disclaimer> we don't have kids.

NotYoMomma Thu 18-Jul-13 16:57:49

I think you are being unreasonable and totally precious.

she has passed her test, will be careful and you are still going to be all 'it's not good enough' hmm

hope your sister doesnt offer tbh

oreocookiez Thu 18-Jul-13 17:01:04

If she has passed her driving test then she is able to drive. YABU

Daeira Thu 18-Jul-13 17:03:15

To be honest I'd feel safer with a learner driver on the autobahn where everyone else on the road knows how to drive properly at speed than I would on a motorway in the UK. She doesn't have to use the outside land after all (I never have when I've driven in Germany, it's bloody terrifying).

But you have to do what feels right and safe to you. Avoiding the issue sounds like the way forward...

GreenShadow Thu 18-Jul-13 17:11:44

Yes, oreocookiez she will have passed her test, but that doesn't make her a safe driver. Why do you think young people pay so much in car insurance? Because they are less safe. Experience of driving yourself and also of what other drivers are likely to do counts for a hell of a lot.

My 18 year old DS has also passed his test in the last year and I still feel wary on the odd occasions he drives me.

oreocookiez Sat 20-Jul-13 00:36:37

I was thinking about this today Greenthread and you are right. Passing a test means you are competent but the experience comes from driving over a while. My nephew passed his test 3 weeks ago and I would get in the car with him but I dont think I would allow my kids too. After rethinking YANBU. Hope it all works out OP x

BackforGood Sat 20-Jul-13 00:45:57

YABU to condemn her riving without ever having driven with her.
YABU to say that if there were a risk you are not prepared to go in the car with your dd but you would on your own shock Really ? You'd put yourself in what you perceive to be a dangerous, life threatening situation when you have the responsibility of being a Mum to your LO ? (I'm not saying driving with your sister is this, I'm going on what you are trying to suggest).
It may be that your sister isn't yet a good driver, or it may be she's the best driver out of your family - we can't tell, we've not seen her drive and don't know anything about her personality. What we can say is, she isn't automatically a bad driver because she's a new driver.

differentnameforthis Sat 20-Jul-13 07:17:54

Immediately after I passed my test, I drove with my dd in teh car. Had no choice. I would have been pissed off if my dh indicated that he didn't trust me to drive with her in the car, to be honest.

WidowWadman Sat 20-Jul-13 07:25:32

YAB massively U.

WidowWadman Sat 20-Jul-13 07:28:12

(my husband only got his licence a few weeks before our second child was born. He would have been pissed off and rightly so if I didn't let him drive us then

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