to have fly rage?

(60 Posts)
Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 13:34:53

Seriously fuck off you bastarding cunting fucking fly!

Stop landing on me every two seconds just because I've decided to sit down for a few minutes with a tea.

(Disclaimer : I know flies cannot read. But I am in need of arant).

RoooneyMara Sat 20-Jul-13 12:39:11

We normally get loads but this year I have put up a thin gingham curtain over hte back door, and they have stopped coming in! shock

It actually works even when the door is open.

And even though we currently have the world's stupidest seagull baby on the patio, which keeps shitting everywhere. There are loads outside, but not one in the kitchen.

Curtains, people. curtains.

LJL69 Sat 20-Jul-13 12:36:15

Not Unreasonable. Fuck the fucking fuckers. Same here just now. They make me feel unclean and squirmy

HeffalumpTheFlump Sat 20-Jul-13 12:34:17

Is this grounds for divorce? I go to brush my teeth this morning and as usual dh has not closed the cap properly. As I go to use it a fucking earwig falls out. Dh had gone fishing so I was left to deal with it alone.

After the terminator earwig last night, I'm now pretty convinced its an invasion.

<moves house and leaves no forwarding adress for dh or the earwigs to find me>

I'm sat here laughing at a stupid fly.

It keeps flying into the mirror, bouncing off, doing a lap under the light and then flying back into the mirror. smile

Silly cunts.

itsonlyapapermoon Sat 20-Jul-13 11:34:47

Meant to add-I'm in Australia. And contrary to popular belief we don't wear cork hats although in the summertime I'm sorely tempted... ;)

itsonlyapapermoon Sat 20-Jul-13 11:32:39

I feel your pain-summertime here is an absolute bastard for flies!They are everywhere! However I think I could deal with the flies, it's the fucking mosquitoes that I hate!! I get eaten alive angry

Just make sure if you are squashing the "thing from the bin" again you do it on a hard surface - they pull themselves back together if you attempt on soft...

Or alternatively get DH to sleep nearer the door!

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 19-Jul-13 23:20:59

And the vomit rises....

Why would you do that to me? I'm off to bed soon... With weaponry!

Heffalump - are you sure it was an earwig and not a mutant cockroach? wink

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 19-Jul-13 23:09:51

Found an earwig IN the bread today. Made dh sort it. He squished it and put it in the bin in the packaging (with all the contaminated bread). I then made dh get it back out of the bin because I was scared it wasn't dead and would climb out and attack me in the night. It wasn't fucking dead. It is now. It has been twice squashed then drowned down the sink. I'm still slightly worried it might climb back up the pipes after coming back to life. <worried emoticon>

LydiasLunch Fri 19-Jul-13 23:01:03

Try the bag of water!

Went for a pub lunch the other day and there were loads of the little feckers in the restaurant bit.
Won't be going. back there again.

AuntieMaggie Fri 19-Jul-13 22:19:39

Eww eww eww at that Red Top Fly Trap and fly papers... isn't there something that just stops them coming around in the first place?

I might try the water and 2ps thing...

Allegedly the Emperor Domitian used to catch flies with a version of chop-sticks...

Personally I find an old tea cloth works wonders as it covers a broader range than most of the annoying so-and-sos can get out of.

The cats here do catch the things, but listening to buzz, buzz, crunch, crunch isn't madly pleasant either.

GobbySadcase Fri 19-Jul-13 20:28:18

I got DH a leccy bat.
My sitting room now stinks of cremated flies.

Pixel Fri 19-Jul-13 20:26:03

I've just got a red top fly trap this week after seeing it mentioned in the MN chicken section. It's been on the fence since yesterday and is full of flies. Think I'll have to order another one straight away. I'm pretty impressed because we've had the sticky fly papers up and the only thing that got stuck was my hair when I walked into one by accident.

MakeGlutenFreeHay Fri 19-Jul-13 08:05:09

morgause sorry but that did make me laugh!

Morgause Fri 19-Jul-13 05:44:55

I seem to have lost the plot a tadge. One was just crawling up the computer screen and I tried to hit it with the cursor.


I counted 11 of them in my kitchen last night.
I too would like to know their purpose.
on the plus side ive not seen many wasps this year.
and yes my cat does bugger all about them too.

TinaSurrey Fri 19-Jul-13 03:31:57

The Red Top Fly Trap (sorry don't know how to link but comes up if you Google it) is life changing. Cheap and amazingly effective. Ours is on the back fence so we can't even see it.

Had one out for last two summers and the difference is unbelievable!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Fri 19-Jul-13 00:58:28

Jesus! It would not die! I kept hitting it with a rolled up bit of card and I think I just made it more angry. In the end I waited till it stopped still and slammed it with the paper flat in my hand. That got the little fucker. Then it took four flushes of the bloody loo to make it disappear! I don't want it crawling back up like a little zombie fly to get me in the middle of the night. shock


Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Fri 19-Jul-13 00:51:04

As I sit here reading this thread, right now one of those big buzzy fuckers has started buzzing and crashing its way across my bedroom ceiling! The bastard!

Off to find a flu swat. There's no way it's keeping me awake.


Kills anything that flies and is FUN too. I sit and will the fuckers to fly in so I can shoot them. The Dc's love it,we are a fly deathtrap here.I havent had any flying things in for aaages,word has obviously gone out on the "giant 500 horsepower shit eating super turbocharged blue balls of airborne horror." grapevine grin

froubylou Thu 18-Jul-13 21:09:39

Mmm. Fly papers are fab.

Think they are gross normally but am 18 wk pg and can't stand the thought of spray. And the dog knocked over the Venus fly trap chasing a fly so gone for a paperand hung Iit in the window.

Even better a bit of the sticky stuff stuck to the window. And caught even more bastard flys. 1-0 to me so far I think.

LydiasLunch Thu 18-Jul-13 21:02:35

This may sound woo but try hanging a small clear bag containing water with a few 2ps in the bag over doors and windows. Apparently the flies think it's a big nest of rival insects and avoid the area. I've been doing this for a week now and I swear there are less flies. There are still some but the stupider flies don't come in.

The downside is that we are a tall family and keep twatting our heads on bags of water.

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