to have fly rage?

(60 Posts)
Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 13:34:53

Seriously fuck off you bastarding cunting fucking fly!

Stop landing on me every two seconds just because I've decided to sit down for a few minutes with a tea.


(Disclaimer : I know flies cannot read. But I am in need of arant).

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 19-Jul-13 23:09:51

Found an earwig IN the bread today. Made dh sort it. He squished it and put it in the bin in the packaging (with all the contaminated bread). I then made dh get it back out of the bin because I was scared it wasn't dead and would climb out and attack me in the night. It wasn't fucking dead. It is now. It has been twice squashed then drowned down the sink. I'm still slightly worried it might climb back up the pipes after coming back to life. <worried emoticon>

Heffalump - are you sure it was an earwig and not a mutant cockroach? wink

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 19-Jul-13 23:20:59

And the vomit rises....

Why would you do that to me? I'm off to bed soon... With weaponry!

Just make sure if you are squashing the "thing from the bin" again you do it on a hard surface - they pull themselves back together if you attempt on soft...

Or alternatively get DH to sleep nearer the door!

itsonlyapapermoon Sat 20-Jul-13 11:32:39

I feel your pain-summertime here is an absolute bastard for flies!They are everywhere! However I think I could deal with the flies, it's the fucking mosquitoes that I hate!! I get eaten alive angry

itsonlyapapermoon Sat 20-Jul-13 11:34:47

Meant to add-I'm in Australia. And contrary to popular belief we don't wear cork hats although in the summertime I'm sorely tempted... ;)

I'm sat here laughing at a stupid fly.

It keeps flying into the mirror, bouncing off, doing a lap under the light and then flying back into the mirror. smile

Silly cunts.

HeffalumpTheFlump Sat 20-Jul-13 12:34:17

Is this grounds for divorce? I go to brush my teeth this morning and as usual dh has not closed the cap properly. As I go to use it a fucking earwig falls out. Dh had gone fishing so I was left to deal with it alone.

After the terminator earwig last night, I'm now pretty convinced its an invasion.

<moves house and leaves no forwarding adress for dh or the earwigs to find me>

LJL69 Sat 20-Jul-13 12:36:15

Not Unreasonable. Fuck the fucking fuckers. Same here just now. They make me feel unclean and squirmy

RoooneyMara Sat 20-Jul-13 12:39:11

We normally get loads but this year I have put up a thin gingham curtain over hte back door, and they have stopped coming in! shock

It actually works even when the door is open.

And even though we currently have the world's stupidest seagull baby on the patio, which keeps shitting everywhere. There are loads outside, but not one in the kitchen.

Curtains, people. curtains.

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