to want to scream at these relatives!

(112 Posts)
missesjellybean Wed 17-Jul-13 14:56:01

so I'm at the hospital now ... I've just had my 20 week scan, I had an operation a few weeks ago on my cervix so I'm not supposed to stand for prolonged periods but I've just been sent through to wait to see the doctor...and told there is a 2 hour delay...and there isn't one single seat to sit on.
the waiting room is about 30 degrees with no windows or seats and every single pregnant lady here has at least two relatives with her and they're all occupying the seats
I thought some kind relative who is just here for moral support would give up their seat for a clearly pregnant lady but they're all just pretending not to see me stood here absolutely roasting with no where to sit so they don't have to move. wibu to throw a massive diva strop at demand a chair....or at least ask the receptionist who is also pretending to ignore me to ask able visitors to stand so actual patients can sit....shockangry

pippitysqueakity Thu 18-Jul-13 17:17:16

Hey OP, 'should have been on bedrest'. ?
I hope you are ok, and the rest of your pregnancy is peaceful. smile

Pixielady83 Thu 18-Jul-13 17:31:41

This is rubbish. Some people are so rude. Reminds me of a horrible hot train journey I had at 26 weeks pg when the only person on a packed train to offer her seat to me was an elderly blind lady sad (I didn't take it obviously). This was despite lots of loud comments about how awful it was and was my back ok etc from the lovely people I was standing with, which everyone on the train ignored. When I came home in tears DH couldn't understand why I hadn't asked for a seat but in the face of such deliberate ignorance it makes it really difficult doesn't it. Can't believe receptionist had to get a mw to sort it out though angry

grumpyoldbat Thu 18-Jul-13 17:37:52

The MW having to be called I cab imagine how this could have come about knowing NHS management practices.

I wouldn't be surprised if this situation has arisen in the past. The receptionist has asked partners to let pregnant ladies sit. Someone has taken the hump that they've had to stand. Made an official complaint about the reception so management decree receptionist isn't allowed to use her common sense or decency.

hiddenhome Thu 18-Jul-13 18:46:57

I find this thread so sad sad How can people be so rude and downright heartless towards pregnant or poorly people, esp. in this heat? It beggars belief. It's so depressing.

Hope you feel better soon OP.

crashdoll Thu 18-Jul-13 19:52:35

Poor you. sad Selfish bastards!

On Tuesday, I had a hosp appt. It was packed and the air con was broken. There was one seat not occupied by a person, it had a small handbag on it. I stood by it but the owner ignored me and my walking stick. After a few mins of passive hovering around her bag's chair, I asked to sit down. She huffed and puffed and eventually moved it but she continued to give me evils. I tried to be charitable and thought maybe she was saving it for someone but there was a long wait and no relative/friend came.. I wanted to ram my stick up her arse. grin

MidniteScribbler Fri 19-Jul-13 04:32:28

es, midnite, I believe that if you see someone who for some reason might need a chair, whether they be pregnant, on crutches, old or whatever, and you are fit and healthy, you should indeed "dive to your feet" and offer them your chair.

Yes, I do agree, but my point is that you don't know just by looking at someone if they can stand or not. You could be silently fuming about someone you think is rude, without knowing if they have any medical conditions. Just because they aren't as obvious as a large pregnant stomach, that doesn't mean they may not have less of a need for the seat than you do. People shouldn't have to explain to everyone why they may need a seat. That's why a general request to the room/carriage/bus is better. I am yet to see someone who has politely asked a room full of people for a seat to not be offered one. Alternatively, if it's a waiting room, then a receptionist with half an ounce of common sense could just go and get another bloody chair so everyone can sit down.

In the situation I described earlier, the woman shoving her pregnant stomach in my face and demanding my chair was like someone hitting me with a sledgehammer. I ended up sitting on the floor in the corner crying which was then addressed by "what the fuck is your problem?" from her. But that was ok I guess, because her needs apparently trumped mine.

Morgause Fri 19-Jul-13 05:06:54

I can see no good reason why OP wasn't offered a seat in the waiting room without having to ask.

However, I can understand why sometimes people do not offer seats on long train journeys. I used to take the DCs on a day trip to London once a year and the first time we went we all had to stand all the way down - a journey of 2 hours. The day was not a success. I have a back problem and both DCs have chronic asthma and were getting over colds and were a bit wheezy. By the time we got to London none of us felt up to walking any distance. So a waste of the train fare, really. We "did" one museum, sitting down every half hour or so.

So from then on I reserved seats for the three of us. A trip to London on the train isn't cheap and we wanted to make the best of it not be knackered before we started and waste the money spent. That option was open to everyone else on the train so I don't feel guilty about not giving up a seat to anyone standing.

olidusUrsus Fri 19-Jul-13 05:13:41

Agree midnite. If someone needs a seat, they should ask. And if they are rejected by an individual, they shouldn't huff.

I have had to turn down a pregnant woman's request for my seat because my back is fucked up from hauling my bedridden OH's giant arse about. I didn't much fancy announcing this to a train full of commuters so I simply said "I'm very sorry, but I need this seat. Could you ask someone else?" She didn't, and spent the rest of the journey glaring (whilst standing) at me. Maybe she was nervous about asking and I looked like an easy target. Maybe she was also a massive dick about it.

Turquoisehat Fri 19-Jul-13 06:17:30

This reminds me of when I had 3 day old dd on a 45 minute train journey. The train was packed and I asked a woman to remove her luggage from the priority seating, so I could sit down. She would have still had a seat, I just wanted the luggage moved. She said no. I told her I had a 3 day old baby in the sling but she just started huffing and puffing and didn't move. A very kind man jumped up and offered me his seat. I accepted, and was on the verge of tears.
DD is 13 months now and I can clearly see that woman sitting comfortably with her luggage. I only hope karma gets her eventually.

ZillionChocolate Fri 19-Jul-13 07:41:28

I think that although kind and well intentioned, the pregnant, but less in need ladies are getting it wrong in waiting rooms. Isn't it better to say loudly to the rest of the room "can someone offer this lady a seat?" when no one offers one to the new arrival?

grumpyoldbat Fri 19-Jul-13 07:43:43

midnite what that woman did to you is awful. It's one of the reasons I would never ask for seat. Even though I would never ask in that manner I wouldn't want to inadvertently upset someone.

It is also why I always stand to offer someone a seat. I wouldn't like to put someone in a position of feeling they had to ask.

Still manage to offend but will still offer seats.

grumpyoldbat Fri 19-Jul-13 07:49:35

Omg zillion I'd never have the nerve to do that. If DH was with me I'd get him to stand (though unlikely I'd have to). The time I stood he wasn't with me so I stood. I find that much easier than risking offence. Even standing to give a pregnant woman a seat got me looks from the sitting men.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now