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To have a rant about house guests..?

(30 Posts)
Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:17:19

I need a rant..

We have had house guests (BIL and SIL and Children) for two weeks.

I have just got in from work (they left to catch plane home after I left for work) DH insisted on us cleaning the house for two fucking days until it was gleaming, and they have left it in a right state (DH even spent another day at home cleaning and tidying last week they were that messy - think beer cans/crisp packets just being left where they were consumed - am not stepford by any stretch).

(OH has just got home from several months away).

Washing up piled on the side, dishwasher (from last nights dinner which I cooked and then cleaned up after) not even emptied, snotty tissues dropped on the floor and kids rooms trashed when they were really tidy in readiness for their arrival.

Asked if there was anything they didn't like "no" they said then every night SIL would push into the kitchen while I was in there cooking and make a different meal from everyone else for her and 1 of their DC confused.

Constantly feeding them chocolates, sweets and fizzy drinks, saying they wanted an evening meal but the kids not being hungry when it was ready then having the cheek to be sniffy about unhealthy white bread.

Pissing off upstairs for a shag for 45 mins when I got in from work while OH and I cooked and looked after all the kids.

I could go on .. And breathe........

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 18:59:40

They did contribute but obvs it has cost quite a lot having them here.

At 1 point there were 12 of us as we have 6 kids and they all came home!!

phantomnamechanger Mon 15-Jul-13 18:50:40

I can't believe anyone would be so rude, don't ever let them stay again.

My recent guests, family of 5, so we had a real houseful of 10 of us all week (and only one bathroom) - never left any mess, stripped their beds before leaving, contributed odds and ends of top up shopping throughout the week, washed up all the time and bought wine, chocs and flowers for us when they left! They are welcome any time!

ImperialBlether Mon 15-Jul-13 18:42:08

And tell your FIL how bad it was so that he thinks twice before behaving in the same way.

NinaHeart Mon 15-Jul-13 18:11:48

Time to discuss this with your DH now. Yes NOW. Before you forget the awfulness of it. As in "that was a bloody nightmare and they are never coming again. Agreed?" And make a note of the conversation for future reference. Cheeky caaaaahs.

we had DB and sil with 3 kids years ago, they said it was on route visit but they stayed 9 nights... never again, I fed them all they never offered a bean and we just got so fed up of having them sat around every night. every time its been hinted at again I have changed the subject and last time they were heading our way I said 'oh that's nice... you must call in' so far they seem to have got the hint. I am no good at having people around for long.

DespicableYou Mon 15-Jul-13 17:38:04

"Or 'oy sil you filthy mare can you clean up before you leave' "

But not 'oy sil, you filthy man'??? Disgusting as their behaviour is I don't see why the BIL should be exempt from tidying.

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 17:32:46

grin @ claude

i'd be fucking furious.

i wouldn't say anything now but if they ask to come again i'd tell the truth. you have to grow some balls. have your script ready. say you work hard and you can't have house guests who refuse to clean up after themselves and who don't help out. sorry, you'd love to see them but they can't stay with you. mention a b&b about 20 mins drive away.

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 17:20:01

I know - I will try to do better with the next lot hmm.

EldritchCleavage Mon 15-Jul-13 16:51:19

Look, but these things need to be aired directly. Especially between siblings. They sound as though they have been inconsiderate, but all the more reason to simply say you needed them to step up. It doesn't have to be a confrontation.

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:48:12

I wasn't PA am just not very good at these types of situations - I was out at work for a lot of it and was trying to keep thins harmonious telling myself it was "only" two weeks!!

PatriciaHolm Mon 15-Jul-13 16:45:53

why didn't you say something instead of being all passive aggressive and tidying up around them??

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:43:04

They asked me if they could come. I wasn't able to discuss it with DH.

We thought they might take the hint when he stayed at home for a whole day last week and I was overjoyed at the fact that he had cleaned the house!

JRmumma Mon 15-Jul-13 16:42:16

Houseguests are hard! U had similar situation a few months back and i can say i was so glad when they left. It was the adults that were the problem though, not the kids which amazed me!

Think bathroom covered in water after showers and kitchen drenched after using the sink (only ever to wash out kids bottles though, never helping with any other kind if cleaning up)

CaptainSweatPants Mon 15-Jul-13 16:39:59

You sound a bit of a pushover tbh

Why didn't you say 'sorry Dh they can't come for 2 weeks'

Or 'oy sil you filthy mare can you clean up before you leave'

Move? Don't give a forwarding address?

It is either that or you will be forced to decline their request. Can you actually let them know that you found their behaviour unacceptable? I don't know how reasonable they are, but I know if a member of my family had a quiet word with me about my and my DCs behaviour I would be mortified and willing to try much harder next time. (Unlikely to happen however, since my family are such slobs that I can't face staying with them and would rather stay in a hotel!)

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:37:51

Yes - never again for two weeks ....

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:37:12

I enjoyed their company just not the domestic habits.

Squitten Mon 15-Jul-13 16:37:03

It's a shame you are so very busy on every date that they have in mind...

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:26:41

And yes.... They had a fab time and want to come again.....

Squitten Mon 15-Jul-13 16:26:01

Well be prepared next time and say no! They can't come in unless you let them OP!

Gossipmonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:25:58

DH was very disappointed as they were moaning about the state of their house after some people stayed with them - and are very house proud shock.

We have FIL and his partner next month for a week!!!! shock

treas Mon 15-Jul-13 16:25:42

Well invite yourselves back to theirs and do the same - just when you go back home leave photos behind of how they left your house.

Gosh, sympathies... you have my admiration. Enjoy the rest of your IL-free summer. I hope you've done your hosting duties for the next year ten years but I fear you might have made it too comfortable for them & they'll be back for another "holiday" pdq.

Suggest you say "OK, but only for two days because we've got friends/cousins/the Royals coming on the 14th" or whatever.

Mark Twain - what a wise man. He said that after two days, fish and guests stink. So true.

squoosh Mon 15-Jul-13 16:23:29

And you put up with that for two weeks?

You have far more self control than I do!

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