To be a bit miffed at dds school report?

(22 Posts)
IfIonlyhadsomesleep Mon 15-Jul-13 21:46:12

I think the only right way to work these star of the week things is by finding something to celebrate for each child and make sure each has their turn. Who is to say that a more disruptive child deserves it less-they might have worked extraordinarily hard just to be a bit less disruptive that week. But equally, a child who always works hard deserves to be celebrated. If each has their turn, being genuinely celebrated then it works.

Rowgtfc72 Mon 15-Jul-13 16:46:58

Somewhere, I have the opposite situation. Dd is in yr 1 is quite bright and very confident. As a result she doesnt get star of the week. Eight kids went into star parade the other week for going up a reading level. Dds gone up four levels in yr 1 and never been rewarded. Luckily she just shrugs and says "oh well". We find the disruptive kids are rewarded for less disruptive behaviour and the ones that just get on with it get ignored.

somewhereaclockisticking Mon 15-Jul-13 13:19:48

I was upset that in a class of 9 children my dd was the ONLY child NEVER to receive star of the week - despite the headteacher often appraoching me to say she had done this and that and she was so proud of her! She would step in at the last minute to complete tasks other kids couldn't do (despite being the youngest in the class) - I couldn't understand how the star of the week was used to praise the extremeley clever children some weeks and used to encourage the other children who were usually disruptive the rest of the time, yet my dd who wasn't the best at everything and often needed the boost in confidence never once got this award - I even raised it with the headteacher because the class was so tiny but was told that it had to be earned!!! (I gave up hoping she would get it when she stepped forward to play Mary at the Easter play 5 minutes before the play started, and sang 2 solos and the child who got star of the week had stood looking bored/yawning throughout the entire performance and only came alive for his one sentence then went back to slouching in the corner - I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact his dad was on the PTA!!! Star of the week and other awards should be handed out fairly and they should be earnt but every child deserves the encouragement and surely a teacher can find something to praise a child on for one week of the year???

ReallyTired Mon 15-Jul-13 13:10:07

You have my sympathy. My son's report has been really negative about his effort, although he is in a slightly different position as he has got excellent grades.

Secondary schools don't give a monkeys what a primary school teacher thinks. Often a child has 14 different teachers who teach 300 children in a given week. I doult that the teachers at your daughter's new school will read the report. Even if they do, most teachers prefer to make their own judgments.

LilacPeony Mon 15-Jul-13 13:05:29

Sorry, "apparently" should be "hopefully"

LilacPeony Mon 15-Jul-13 13:04:34

Yes that is annoying. If you did want that school, you could ask them to phone the class teacher to clarify, but as you don't want it, apparently it won't cause further problems.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 12:18:28

She is not statemented yet. They said as she had only been there two years they did not have enough to apply for one and basically she would not get one despite working at year 2 level and making hardly any progress.

The potential new school was one of several we are looking at (some indie/some state, this was one of indie schools) they asked if she was disruptive and said that they weren't able to cater for children with constant disruptive behavioural issues as they had many children with learning difficulties who would not cope in a noisy disruptive situation (dd wouldn't). I explained that this was not the case but obviously they want confirmation of this.

I am not using this school anyway now but it has peeved me she has been discounted for no reason.

LilacPeony Mon 15-Jul-13 12:10:48

Your dd's current teacher doesn 't sound great to be honest. Has she done anything to try to stop the bullying?

LilacPeony Mon 15-Jul-13 12:09:33

Can the new school actually turn her down?
I agree she should have had star of the week because all children have something praiseworthy at some time. Also agree that she shouldn't have written something 5 times if she hadn't previously mentioned it and if she is now claiming it is just normal stuff.

rhetorician Mon 15-Jul-13 12:09:03

I think I'd be more than a little miffed - I'd be furious. Your dd bless her sounds like she has worked incredibly hard in difficult circumstances (bullying, unsupportive teacher) and has received very little reward, or support in relation to her SEN.

What did you say when potential school asked whether she was disruptive?

Renniehorta Mon 15-Jul-13 12:00:17

Surely if she is statemented you can choose where she goes to school.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 11:56:35

Yes basically we have looked at several schools that have sen support, the one that requested the report asked instantly if she was disruptive as the fact it was mentioned so many times through out the list read as a major issue.

Renniehorta Mon 15-Jul-13 11:53:32

Her potentially new school have read it as a disruptive pain in the backside who they do not want.

How do you know that? Have they told you that? Have they seen the report?

IfIonlyhadsomesleep Mon 15-Jul-13 11:51:20

And actually, the effort put in by someone who finds things tricky and therefore doesn't get the personal satisfaction gained by someone who achieves more academically might be valued more highly, not less.

Nanny0gg Mon 15-Jul-13 11:46:15

You could get 1 - 10 house points for a project recently. DDs teacher said she was really really impressed with dds project given her academic level and it was the best piece of work she had produced, she really really tried, yet I know for a fact the academic children got 10 house points and yet dd got three. She said she was not trying anymore after that.
That's awful. The marks should reflect the effort the child put in, not the final result. We can't all achieve the same but we can all try our hardest.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 10:48:50

not academic that first line should read.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 10:48:26

I am beginning to wonder in all honesty if she just finds dd hard work because she is academic and does not particularly like her sad

You could get 1 - 10 house points for a project recently. DDs teacher said she was really really impressed with dds project given her academic level and it was the best piece of work she had produced, she really really tried, yet I know for a fact the academic children got 10 house points and yet dd got three. She said she was not trying anymore after that.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 10:44:28

I spoke to her about this and said I felt we should have been told.
She said as it was not a major issue it was dealt with in class with a gentle reminder to focus.

She said if she told parents everything that happened she would be writing everyday....

BarbarianMum Mon 15-Jul-13 10:42:00

<<I am firmly of the opinion that a school report should contain no surprises.>>

This. And to mention something negative 5 times it should be a big deal.

At our school all children get Star of the Week at some point. According to the Head of Reception they have never had a child who never does anything praiseworthy, or never rises to a challenge, or never makes any progress. Quite sad to think other schools do.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 10:31:16

She has had her for two years and never had it!

Star of the week is based on house points (none of schools I have worked in have done it this way) and the kids get house points on work and colour them in themself.

So for the sen kids who do not remember to colour in/don't cheat and colour loads in or are not academic so do not get loads its a pointless system.

I am firmly of the opinion that a school report should contain no surprises.

I'm also hmm that a class teacher wouldn't keep tracks of who had been "star of the week" over the year and try to give it to someone who needed bringing on a bit. I thought that was the whole point!

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 10:15:29

I probably am.

Ok background, dd has sen, she is dyspraxic with a processing disorder, she has been bullied most of the year, she has never had star of the week, prize box or class trophy.

She is mostly very quiet in school, head teacher called her "a little mouse" previously selective mute, low confidence, low self esteem.

Got her report and it mentions five times concentration and listening issues, have never been raised before so wrote to teacher to question it as I can not back them up if I do not know about it.

Teacher said she is very well behaved, is not being disruptive at all but in last couple of months she has occasionally talked when meant to be doing work or fiddled in her tray in (her words) the way all the other kids have. It is not on a regular basis.

I will fully back them up and have told them so but its written FIVE times in her one page report and that does not read as a child who has occasionally done what the other kids are doing and not causing a major issue.

Her potentially new school have read it as a disruptive pain in the backside who they do not want.

So AIBU to think unless she has wrote it five times in every other children's report who has talked in class or fiddled in a tray on a not regular basis at some point this year she should have raised it with me earlier so I could deal with it.

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