How do I respond to this?

(53 Posts)
suchawimp Sun 14-Jul-13 17:46:04

I sponsored a child for a few months and just started sponsoring another last week. One is in Uganda and the other in India. One of the girls at work is looking into sponsoring so we were talking about it on Friday. I had the picture of my Indian child to show her the pack that you get from the charity.

Couple of colleagues decided to jump into the conversation to say how it is all a con etc.

One said I should have chosen prettier children. Which was a bit of a shock but I figured she was making a joke.

Just had a text from her this morning saying "I see you are sponsoring another kid with a dark sun tan."

I don't know how to respond to it! It sounds racist to me but maybe I am over-sensitive as I love my little sponsor children!

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sun 14-Jul-13 17:47:29

I wouldn't respond at all tbh, but I would make a mental note of those colleagues having not a little racist streak in them. Yuck.

MagicBaguette Sun 14-Jul-13 17:47:49

Ignore her! Don't bother replying.

There's no point with someone like that...

Shutupanddrive Sun 14-Jul-13 17:48:01

How about 'fuck off you twat'? Should do the trick. How rude

LemonPeculiarJones Sun 14-Jul-13 17:49:21

Fucking racist morons. They've displayed who they really are.

Ugh.

MammaTJ Sun 14-Jul-13 17:59:22

'Would you rather I sponsored a little white child from Middlesex?' grin

Or ignore. I would want to do the first but use self control to make me do the second. I recommend that.

suchawimp Sun 14-Jul-13 18:07:45

I just thought that they saw any sponsorship as a waste - makes me rethink their comments about there being no hope of the children being successful or useful.

I feel like ignoring it would be easiest but if I don't reply then she is sure to mention it at work tomorrow. Although if I do reply and she doesn't like it there will be drama too.

Mynewmoniker Sun 14-Jul-13 18:14:34

Ask her 'innocently' if she would like some details about the background of the children and about the way the sponsorship works so that she may do the same if she wished.

You can only hope to educate people like this.

emsyj Sun 14-Jul-13 18:14:44

I would not reply. If she brings it up at work you could say, 'Yes I got your text which I'm afraid came across as rather offensive and racist, so given that I don't like racism I wasn't sure how to respond to it without being rude' <big smile>. Just be honest! Don't actively engage in an argument, but if she wants to bring it up then tell the truth.

SelectAUserName Sun 14-Jul-13 18:17:18

Depending on where you work and what your Equality & Diversity policies are like (if applicable), she'd be rather stupid to say anything at work. If she does, I'd fix her with a cold hard stare and say "You do realise that's borderline racist, don't you?" and then walk away before she starts the usual "can't you take a joke / it's PC gorn mad / I'm not racist, some of my best friends blah blah blah..." excuses start.

raisah Sun 14-Jul-13 18:20:19

if she mentions it again say in a really loud voice an adapted version of the mn classic did you mean to be so rude with did you mean to be so racist?

Also if she wears fake tan you could have great fun pointing out how dark her skin...... I used to get picked on about my skin colour until I pointed out that the bully was almost the same colour as me due to her fake tan! everybody started to agree & laugh at her. She shut up and walked away so the trick is to show her up & make her look foolish.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 14-Jul-13 18:20:35

Ignore that! You dont owe anyone a response- especially not crap like that. If she causes drama at work you go straight to your line manager with the text an tell them what has been hoing on. You have a right to be protected from racist language in the workplace.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 18:40:36

I was going to sponsor one from (insert her home town/area) but I've heard they are racist scum so didn't bother.

Maybe not.

RoooneyMara Sun 14-Jul-13 18:44:03

oh that's bad. That's really bad. I think you have to decide if it is worth trying to set them straight, if they will make your life hell for standing up to their thicko remarks, and so on.

I would so enjoy telling them where to get off angry

kukeslala Sun 14-Jul-13 18:51:32

raisah
I was going to say the same re the MN saying!

OP
Depending on the reply you receive from the above would decide for me how I moved forward with her.

DeWe Sun 14-Jul-13 19:08:21

If they think that the children will never amount to anything-the child we sponsor is currently training to be the equivalent of a social worker to help other children like she was when we first started sponsoring her. She took some time to choose between nursing and this, and decided she would help more children this way.
She also was used as a translator a few years ago when there was a local disaster and international medical people came in speaking English, and she was translating between them and the local people.

That's a great achievement for any one.

hesterton Sun 14-Jul-13 19:25:34

My brother visited my sponsored child and he discovered that he had every letter I had sent kept in a special box. He was being educated and his mum was being given training to set up as a seamstress. Genuine enough though my bro was a bit uncomfortable with the VIP treatment he was given (very rural project without many visitors).

Was she being sarcastic about the principle of sponsorship? Some people feel it is a patronising way to give as it rewards/motivates the donor with a greater feelgood factor, linking it to a real individual. But if it's a project worth supportin and you don't see the relationship from a do-gooder point of view but more of a cultural exchange of equals in different parts of the world, then why not?

Dorris83 Sun 14-Jul-13 20:39:07

Reply with 'I'm not interested in discussing this with you any longer'

Seriously why do people feel the need to pass comment on other people's life decisions?

Ham69 Sun 14-Jul-13 20:44:19

What a disgusting, vile individual. I would avoid her at all costs, she has BNP written all over her.

DoJo Sun 14-Jul-13 20:53:15

Tell her 'My sponsorship means that they will benefit from an education so that they won't grow up to be racist bigots like you. It's just a shame there wasn't a similar scheme when you were at school.'

quoteunquote Sun 14-Jul-13 21:20:59

I think you are doing an amazing thing,

The negativity from the totally vile person, is just beyond the pale,

what a limited hateful life she has chosen, practice your pity face.

Whothefuckfarted Sun 14-Jul-13 21:32:48

I'd reply with this "Learn the difference between being funny and being racist."

SoftKittyWarmKitty Sun 14-Jul-13 21:33:05

She sounds awful. Her ignorant comment at work showed she thinks Indian/African children are ugly, her comment by text shows she thinks this because of the colour of their skin. Vile. How did your other colleagues react to her comment? Or are they as bigoted as she is?

How does one go about sponsoring a child, anyway? Serious question.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 14-Jul-13 21:38:39

That is too weird to respond to.

What an odd thing for someone to text!

suchawimp Sun 14-Jul-13 21:39:12

Everyone else just looks away or sort of nervously giggles. There are two of them who just feed off each other and back each other up.

She almost seems proud of what she is saying!

There are quite a few sponsor charities - some bigger like Compassion (£21 a month) or World Vision and some smaller like Plant a Book (£9.00 a month) Google and read reviews - that is what I did. smile

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