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to think a cheating bloke should take the rap for cheating...

(23 Posts)
Jan49 Sat 13-Jul-13 00:17:19

Well I'd say they're both to blame. I don't think you can make statements like 'he is betraying someone he is supposed to love' or 'she's a homewrecker' when all we apparently know is that he allegedly has an on off girlfriend. There's no commitment in that, it doesn't mean he loves the girlfriend and there's possibly no home to wreck!

But personally I think when a single person has an affair with a married person, they are both to blame. I don't think you can justify an affair with a married person by saying you weren't committed to anyone.

I looked up the details of the two people you mention and they are both 28 years old. So I'd really like to know why a 28 y.o. male is a 'man' to you but a 28 y.o. woman gets repeatedly called a 'single girl' not a woman. She's been a woman for 10 years. confused

YABU for watching crap TV.grin

garlicsmutty Fri 12-Jul-13 21:22:57

Couldn't agree with you more, Widge. There will always be chancers proving something to themselves by trying to 'win' a partner from someone else. It's up to the partner to decide s/he isn't available. Feel sorry for his girlfriend - mind you, I don't watch BB and it sounds as though she'll be better off without him!

SoleSource Fri 12-Jul-13 21:22:39

Daley is responsible for his girlfriend's feelings but Hazel's behaviour is also inappropriate.

x-post blush grin

"boys will be boys" wtf?

hmm

HeyIJustMetYou Fri 12-Jul-13 21:13:06

Just a touch in cheek Unacceptable :-)

agree with the poster that said "they are both to blame for different reasons"

his poor gf... she was lovely on bots sad

Oh my, I hope that was a bit tongue in cheek HeyIjustMetyou

EllaFitzgerald Fri 12-Jul-13 20:35:12

It's entirely the responsibility of the cheating partner to step back and remember the commitment they have made to their partner. The third party has made no such promises.

However, it would be a pretty horrible place to live if no one had any kind of moral code. If you begin a relationship with someone you know is cheating on their partner, then you're behaving really badly and can't expect any sympathy when the cheating partner does exactly the same thing to you. It's a cruel and selfish thing to do to someone, even if you've never met them.

HeyIJustMetYou Fri 12-Jul-13 20:29:12

Plus I have a tenner on Hazel to go tonight. Wolfy (ugh!) can wait.

HeyIJustMetYou Fri 12-Jul-13 20:28:26

I'm with Beyonce as well. Hazel has behaved abhorrently as well as Daley, but that house would mess with your brain in a big way, so let's not judge too harshly.

And at the end of the day, boy's will be boys!

Agreed whatWouldBeyonceDo she isn't innocent at all but the me me me mentality is something most Big Brother contestants have in common and if Daley was my boyfriend my fury would be directed mostly at him. I have been in a situation before where a boyfriend cheated and it wasn't nice at all.
While I was upset with the other woman it was him that I was furious with.
He betrayed me.
He let me down.
He caused irretrievable trust breakdown within our relationship.

I didn't see the BB on the side, maybe I'll find the website and watch it but while I agree Hazel has been unfair I still think Daley will to some extent get away with being a total shit if she is evicted tonight.

Is it better to blame manipulative women because that way our men can be trusted if we manage to keep whores and homewreckers away?

CSIJanner Fri 12-Jul-13 19:50:08

YABU - they are both to blame. And there's no alleged about the relationship. She was on BB bit on the side and was on tears, saying that she had introduced him to her son and she had to think of them both now.

He's in the wrong, because he was in the relationship when he went in.

She's in the wrong as she knew he was in the relationship, still flirted and then didn't back down for cuddles and hugs when he asked her to.

Basically what WhatWouldBeyonce said.

Whothefuckfarted Fri 12-Jul-13 19:46:28

Agree with the above posts. He's to blame for being a cheat cunt and Hazel is a twat slag for chasing after a taken man. Both to blame.

We all know that a lot of people blame the woman more in these situations because apparently a man can't possibly control himself when his dicks involved.

Bullshit to that theory I say. I think it's quite insulting to men to assume that, but if it gets them off the hook for cheating being a cunt then most men seem happy to accept it.

WhatWouldBeyonceDo Fri 12-Jul-13 19:39:32

They are both to blame for different reasons.

He is in a relationship = he's a cheating scumbag and I hope his girlfriend goes out and gets an upgrade while he is in the house, he doesn't deserve her.

She knows he is in a relationship but doesn't give a shiney shit = not a nice person with questionable morals and a me me me mentality and zero self respect

So basically what Stella said. Only with less words than my post grin

AuntieStella Fri 12-Jul-13 19:34:57

He is the one who deserves all the blame for infidelity.

But what she's doing is shitty too.

RoseFlowerFairy Fri 12-Jul-13 19:34:52

If a man is not single and the woman knows this, then she is a proper BIACHHH! Both to blame. He will do the same to her one day.

Well she knows the man has a girlfriend, why would she flirt with him? She might be single, but she knows there's a woman out there invested in a relationship with him, that she would be helping to hurt if anything happened.

If it's not her, it will be someone else he cheats with, I'm sure. But why would you choose to be a part of it? It doesn't make you a nice person imo, so no, I don't think she'd be entirely innocent.

The blame for ruining the relationship however rests squarely with the bloke. He's the one ruining the relationship, the mistress is taking part knowing what she's going to be helping to achieve.

If that makes any sense at all confused

iliketea Fri 12-Jul-13 19:30:18

Absolutely he has the responsibilty, but Hazel knows he has a girlfriend, and I think she should be respecting that too. Same would apply if genders were reversed.

CarpeVinum Fri 12-Jul-13 19:28:20

Is that still going ?

Blimey. I thought it jumped the shark quite a few years back.

Aetae Fri 12-Jul-13 19:26:43

Normally I would agree with you, but since it's Big Brother you're talking about which takes place in a parallel universe where heat magazine style judgements rule (as far as I can tell) it's quite possible you are being unreasonable but I'm not sure.

...rather than the single girl who has no commitment to anyone?

Am a Big Brother fan and am desperately hoping that Hazel (pretty, flirty and seemingly ruthless) does not get evicted tonight. Am actually hoping Wolfy is voted out so I don't have to watch her spitting all the time. But back on subject.

For those of you who don't watch a single girl has been flirting with a man who allegedly has a girlfriend. He has been saying he doesn't know if him and his girlfriend are on or off (quite sure his girlfriend sees it differently). There are many of my friends, who appear to be in the majority, voting to evict Hazel this evening as she is a 'homewrecker'. The flirting has been pretty intense and if I were the guy's (Daley) girlfriend I would be heartbroken to see him behave like that.

I just don't understand why she is the one to take all the blame and vitriol for a man who is being disloyal. If Hazel is evicted tonight she will be blamed, shamed and generally treated as an evil woman.

Daley will get a chance to remain where he is (he is not up for eviction currently) change his mind, decide he loves his girlfriend still, win over the public who forget about last week/weeks before behaviour and potentially come out to his girlfriend and carry on without repercussion leaving Hazel to take all the flack when he is the one who I think should shoulder the lion's share of the disgust. He is betraying someone he is supposed to love! I'm not saying Hazel is all doe eyed and innocent but I get so sick of women taking the blame because 'boys will be boys' or because a poor, little man has succumbed to the evil charms of a pretty woman.

Am I totally on my own here?

AIBU to think that the person in the wrong is the Man who is surely able to say "stop, this is going to far. I have a girlfriend I love and a relationship I don't want to jeopardize." or is it just easier to blame the woman?

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