to think if we are going out for family meal ds should get one too

(86 Posts)
likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 13:41:02

family occasion coming up, two elder relatives have decided to take family out totalling about 18 people so has to be booked. my dad told me in passing yesterday that they won't be ordering ds age 6 a meal because it would be a waste of money. ds is quite a good eater there are lots of things he likes. I then said well I will pay for ds meal. oh no they are going to ask for a small plate so he can have bits that won't get wasted. aibu to think if you invite us out for a meal you invite us all and that 6yo ds is capable of eating a children's meal in restaurant. its not as though they don't see him often so know that he will. wibu to say we were not going if this is the case.

ouryve Fri 12-Jul-13 14:07:35

If I don't give my 7yo enough food to keep him busy, he starts to help himself to mine! (not the vegetables, of course. I'm allowed to keep them)

No, YANBU. He's 6 years old, not 6 months confused

PinkPepper Fri 12-Jul-13 14:09:23

Crazy. I sometimes order my one year old a meal if I'm hungry, then we share both (obviously he doesn't always finish it but I hate only having half a meal!)

BumbleChum Fri 12-Jul-13 14:10:31

The elderly relatives must be totally out of touch, and not remember what a six year old is like! No way would I do that. If it becomes a great big family thing, whereby the relatives would be offended etc. etc. then I would go, and order for myself the meal that DS wants - then put the plate in front of him. Then see if people scrape up a plate of leftovers for me...

Mind you, I don't think my relatives would do that. It's barking!

HaroldLloyd Fri 12-Jul-13 14:10:34

I would order a meal for my 2.5 yo DS, that's bonkers at 6.

He'll be gutted!

thebody Fri 12-Jul-13 14:12:24

Bloody rude!!

Alwaysbloodyhungry Fri 12-Jul-13 14:25:03

No ynba....how ignorant of them and I would quite frankly be offended and pissed with them too....do they not spend much time with him to know what a good eater he is? Oh sorry just read back they do....so no excuse...grrr...as previously said dont mention it again and just order his dinner at the table...oh and don't ever let them take him out to dinner alone! Ha ha!

WireCat Fri 12-Jul-13 14:29:08

How weird.

I'd order him a meal.

Or not go at all!

Yanbu. When you don't get to go out often then last thing you wang is to have to tone down what you order so that you can divvy it up with the kids. My dds get a meal shared between them as neither one will eat a full adult meal but they eat too much to just have scraps from ours. Go out, enjoy your meal and get your ds his own. At six he will eat enough to warrant it!!! smile

Eyesunderarock Fri 12-Jul-13 14:32:06

He's a person, not a dog. He should have a meal.

Since your dad is the one talking to the elderly relatives I think you should ask him to politely get back to them and say "The kid eats like a horse, better get him his own meal" They are probably just forgetting what they are like at 6 and would be embarrassed to think you are upset/annoyed.

If they can't be asked, or say no, then order one up quietly when you arrive.

treas Fri 12-Jul-13 14:32:59

Or .... might your ds really enjoy the opportunity of experiencing a lot of different foods

Besides if he's getting bits off everyone plates someone (you) will have to co-ordinate it and can select the most expensive part of everyones meal and in a large quantity grin

Actually, we often get a small plate for our dd 10 y.o. to share from dh, ds and my plates but only from somewhere we know provide ridiculously sized portions for adult meals which even dh could not complete

likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 14:33:27

am glad im not being a cow, its lovely of them to invite us out but he would hate to be treated like a baby and i think it would spoil it

Eyesunderarock Fri 12-Jul-13 14:34:52

How cute is he?
He could go round from table to table, begging for scraps as his own family
<pointing>
has not seen fit to feed him and he's living in scraps and hungreeeeeeee.
<sob>

'Just a crumb mister, a chip or two...sniff'

likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 14:40:02

he's quite cute but I'm bias. he's also very shy and half the people there he won't remember grin

Eyesunderarock Fri 12-Jul-13 14:42:47

Make him a sign, so he doesn't have to speak.
'Scraps received with humble gratitude'

Seriously, your elderly rellies are being dim. Go, order him a proper meal. smile

piprabbit Fri 12-Jul-13 14:44:24

My DD would have been mortified to be given scraps at that age. She was always very proud of sitting with the grown-ups, choosing her meal, getting complimented on eating so nicely etc.

To deny her that self-esteem and pleasure would have been rude and unkind.

I wouldn't go to a meal where my DD was treated like a second-class citizen.

It wouldn't matter if he didn't eat it imo anyway. At six, he's old enough to be part of the family occasion and the manners it requires to sit and eat a meal. ie you sit down and eat your meal nicely. You do not steal other people's food , swap around, or eat scraps off everyone's plates. You make a choice and you accept that it's what you chose.

likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 14:52:15

he does eat well,at table. he is my only along with sc who spend certain days here so his meals out or at table have been mostly with adults or those older than him . just glad i wasnt being daft as i know he would be put out to have a side plate with bits on rather than a full meal.

encyclogirl Fri 12-Jul-13 14:52:48

I would just order it myself when I got there. When my ds was 6 he was devouring kids size meals, we had to move up to full adult meals by the time he was 8

likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 14:53:26

does make me worry that if i dont eat all my dinner now will i be in trouble, or will any of rest of guests grin

encyclogirl Fri 12-Jul-13 14:53:47

Also the idea of 'bits' make me want to vom for some reason.

I wasn't saying he doesn't likesnow smile just that them expecting him to walk round taking bits and pieces off plates is not using the manners that we encourage them to have smile

And tbh it's not nice for the other guests to have to sit their hacking up their meals.

You are totally right snow he should be part of it properly! smile

likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 14:57:14

thats my thing too i think, why should he get some meat, some mash ect when he could have his own meal.

likesnowflakesinanocean Fri 12-Jul-13 14:59:04

i know. sorry if it came across wrong was just highlighting that he wasnt a child that wasnt used to sitting with adults or meals out. im glad i asked now smile

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