to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

(766 Posts)
strawberry34 Sun 07-Jul-13 14:03:22

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

monicalewinski Sun 07-Jul-13 15:01:14

I did it once, back when my eldest was about 1. It was at a small hotel and it was a private party with a group of mums and dads (one of whom's parents owned the hotel). We were in the bar bit and the rooms were just up the stairs, we all had our baby monitors and the kids were in cots so couldn't get out and wander.

This was in 2003 (if my memory is right!) - I never did it again though as I felt very 'not right' about it, and definitely Madelaine McCann has often made me think again with regards to a certain degree of complacency that you can have when things have 'never happened to you'.

I think that there is an awful lot of molly-coddling goes on with regard to older children getting out to play etc, but leaving a child on their own whilst you are on the piss? Something I wouldn't do myself again.

catgirl1976 Sun 07-Jul-13 15:01:54

The difference is the amount of unknown people in the hotel.

ComposHat Sun 07-Jul-13 15:06:25

I would be worried they'd drink the mini-bar dry and spend the evening watching the one handed channels.

TidyDancer Sun 07-Jul-13 15:07:29

No, I would never do this. I'd also be really unhappy if DP did it (he never would) or anyone taking care of our DCs.

There are too many reasons not to, and the only reasons to do it are selfish.

ParadiseChick Sun 07-Jul-13 15:09:33

Nope, never have, never will.

AuntieStella Sun 07-Jul-13 15:11:30

It depends entirely on the layout of the hotel. One where you have a ground floor room which you can reach in seconds and from which the monitor indubitably works is a whole different consideration from being several floors away.

Nadalsballs Sun 07-Jul-13 15:11:56

We went to a family hotel recently and everyone did this. The hotel even provided the baby monitors and everyone had them on their tables at dinner.

I think it does depend on the size of the hotel. This was a small hotel and the DCs were as close to us as they would have been at home. We tested the monitor and it was very sensitive. You could hear the DCs breathing and the monitor lit up if there was any additional noise - eg when DS rolled over.

We went to different family hotel and our room was further away so we hired a babysitter who was recommended by the hotel (most people used the monitors here too). In some ways that made me less comfortable as I didn't know them from Adam (although they were from an agency and had been CRB checked etc).

curlew Sun 07-Jul-13 15:12:09

Oh, it's an every stranger's a paedophile thread.

TidyDancer Sun 07-Jul-13 15:13:20

Is it curlew? I would disagree.

Celador Sun 07-Jul-13 15:13:24

No way, not ever - DS would be scared if he woke up without DH or I. I'd live without the night out or take him with us.

Cases like Madeleine's also make me uneasy, as rare as it is.

AuntieStella Sun 07-Jul-13 15:13:59

And I'm not sure the McCann case is terribly relevant here, as OP wasn't describing leaving the premises totally, nor lack of continuous monitoring via alarm.

ParadiseChick Sun 07-Jul-13 15:15:43

I don't think that's the case at all curlew.

There are many reasons that prevent me from leaving my child alone. A random paedophile just happening to be in the vicinity is way down the list.

To imply not wanting to leave your babies alone in hotel rooms makes you think enough to assume every stranger is a danger is quite insulting.

TidyDancer Sun 07-Jul-13 15:22:15

I agree Stella. The McCann case involved the parents leaving the building unlocked (and open?) and going to another place. There were long periods of time where the children were unmonitored and a parent could not have known there was a problem.

I still would not leave a child unattended in a hotel even with a baby monitor, but what the OP proposes is not what the McCann group did.

AuntieStella Sun 07-Jul-13 15:22:38

The likeliest risk is that the child leaves the bed and encounters a hazard. This can be mitigated by continuous monitoring with a good quality alarm. But you won't know if the signal path from the room is good enough until you test it out. So unless you always go back to the same hotel, you can't know until arrival, so is hard to rely on.

A ground floor room which you can reach in seconds means you can attend to your (monitored) DC as quickly as you would do at home. Ditto for scenario of hotel fire alarm (or home smoke alarm) going off. Being on a different floor loses time, and you may not be permitted up the stairs.

ParadiseChick Sun 07-Jul-13 15:25:42

How much fun can a meal be either you are constantly watching and listening to a box on the table?

Drhamsterstortoise Sun 07-Jul-13 15:28:58

You don't know who has access to the room.Its completely different to being in your own home.

SueDoku Sun 07-Jul-13 15:36:39

Anyone remember the Butlins/Pontins child watch scheme from the 60s/70s/80s when you registered your room number and a member of staff listened outside your chalet for babies crying (every 20 mins I think it was)? If they heard anything your room number would be flashed up on a sreens round the camp so you could return to see to your child/children? It seemed 'normal' then and most parents did it - but nowadays...? Has the world changed so much? Sad to say, but it has.

Can't believe that we used to do this quite happily when DS was a baby shock. A real case of 'If I knew then what I know now'.....!

2old2beamum Sun 07-Jul-13 15:41:01

WE have 3 adults with SN and 2 DC's with SN there is no way we would leave them on their own. Sod our sex life grin we sleep in rooms separately me girls him boys.
Regarding meals we all go or eat in room

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sun 07-Jul-13 15:47:03

I'm surprised that the consensus is overwhelmingly against. I thought it would be more of an even split.

Tbh, we've done it. Only in tiny hotels where the restaurant is about a minute's walk away and taking it in turns to nip back and check every 10 minutes, but it was that or sit in the room with them in the dark without making a sound! They were a bit older than toddler age then though. I wouldn't do it in a big hotel or with a child under the age of 3.

megsmouse Sun 07-Jul-13 15:49:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janey68 Sun 07-Jul-13 15:50:55

Curlew - pointing out that a hotel has public access and you don't know who may be working or staying there is not tantamount to suggesting every stranger is a paedophile.

You made the point that it's no different to being downstairs in a large 3 storey house, and people were simply correcting you, that there may not be a difference in distance, but a hotel is totally different to a private house where you know who is in it

curlew Sun 07-Jul-13 15:52:24

And these people are going to get into your locked hotel room exactly how?

Willdoitinaminute Sun 07-Jul-13 15:53:01

My DC recently had seizure in his sleep while we were staying in a hotel. He was in our room and we woke with a start when he fell out of bed. So glad that we have never been tempted to leave him to sleep on his own in hotels. Very scary experience. It was his first and hopefully only seizure.
If we hadn't been there the outcome could have been very different.
I doubt that a monitor would be very effective in a noisy bar!

Forgetfulmog Sun 07-Jul-13 15:53:52

Umm with a hotel key curlew, it's not exactly rocket science. Could be knicked from the parent or anything.

It's not worth the risk IMO, but each to their own.

antimatter Sun 07-Jul-13 15:54:15

so parents who are not agains this do it with a full knowledge that someone else has access to that hotel room?
i.e. spare/emergency keys for hotel staff?

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