To think not all men watch porn...?

(122 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Sat 06-Jul-13 18:22:04

I was chatting with some colleagues (makes and females) a few days ago when the topic of poem came up.

They were talking about watching it and what sort they liked. I said DH doesn't like porn and they all thought this was hilarious and said that he is lying to me.

I'm very broad minded sexually and more adventurous than DH. I don't like porn as I don't agree with the industry however this is a new opinion of mine (since being educated about the facts of porn on MN).

When DH and I got together I didn't have any opinions on porn and would have been happy for him to watch it.

I know DH doesn't like it. He masturbates often and that is fine with me just as he is fine with me masterbating it's just that neither of us happen to like porn.

AIBU in thinking that not ALL men watch porn and that their insistence that DH is obviously lying to me is actually quite rude?

HotCrossPun Sat 06-Jul-13 23:11:52

My DP doesn't watch porn.

Aside from the fact that he doesn't know how to use a computer - yes really grin he's nonplussed by the whole thing.

I once suggested that we watch something together and he was genuinely confused as to what the appeal would be.

Loads of men watch porn, some don't. It's patronising to men to suggest that the latter couldn't be true.

Iwantmybed Sat 06-Jul-13 23:25:44

Perhaps its the type of guys I know and worked with with (what does that say about me) but I got the impression that most if not all of them watched porn. One was caught at work by the cleaner. DP is open about his viewing and I think he's yet to come across a guy who doesn't, his thoughts are that Men need more visual stimulation than women, Women have more creative imaginations or prefer to read erotic stories. That's not to say its a myth, of course there must be Men who are not interested in Porn.

EliotNess Sat 06-Jul-13 23:27:00

They all do. They are lying

EliotNess Sat 06-Jul-13 23:28:16

The more they protest they don't they do. There is tasteful porn you know.

navada Sat 06-Jul-13 23:29:04

Not all men no - just 99%.

WorraLiberty Sat 06-Jul-13 23:34:00

Of course not 'all' men do anything because just like women, they're individual people.

But since the birth of the mobile phone with internet connection, it is much easier for those who lie to their DW's, to get away with it.

My DH works in a very male dominated industry and it's weird how many of them who are 'not allowed' to watch it at home, spend their breaks watching it on their phones....before carefully clearing the history and swearing blind to their DW's that porn sickens them/doesn't interest them.

But just because it's easier than ever to watch it in secret, doesn't mean all men are interested in it.

valiumredhead Sat 06-Jul-13 23:37:08

Dh can only just about text on his mobilegrin

Purple2012 Sat 06-Jul-13 23:38:12

My dh doesn't watch it. He spends all his time on the computer playing chess/looking at rugby/car/bike sites. He doesn't use the Internet on his phone and the history is never cleared. Oh and we don't have a dvd player.

If he was into it he would tell me.

Thisvehicleisreversing Sat 06-Jul-13 23:39:07

My DH isn't keen on porn either.

If I suggested watching something together he'd probably be up for it, but he definitely doesn't choose to watch it on his own.

He's another who hates 'fake' women and silicon tits.

FreyaSnow Sat 06-Jul-13 23:45:51

I wonder who many men lie and tell people they do watch porn when in fact they never do. Because if people keep saying all men watch porn, you're going to look abnormal if you admit you don't.

WorraLiberty Sat 06-Jul-13 23:46:35

Not all porn is 'fake women' and 'silicone tits' though.

The internet is full of amateur, home made porn by couples who just like to film themselves and share it...for their own kinky reasons grin

Not that it takes anything away from what you said, Thisvehicle

It's just that porn comes in many different genres

Darkesteyes Sun 07-Jul-13 00:13:25

Those of you who say all men watch porn.....does that include asexual men who arent into sex or porn at all.

curlew Sun 07-Jul-13 00:16:57

"Not all porn is 'fake women' and 'silicone tits' though."

No, a lot of it shows really women with real tits who have been trafficked or exploited, or who are desperately trying to support a drug habit.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Jul-13 00:21:30

You're absolutely right curlew

And a lot of it shows your average couple next door who get a kick out of videoing themselves and uploading it on to the internet.

I guess seeking out the trafficked from the willing is he hardest part.

curlew Sun 07-Jul-13 00:26:33

Yep. Which is why decent adult men (and women) don't watch it at all.

CatelynStark Sun 07-Jul-13 00:31:56

I've been married twice. Neither of my ex husbands watched porn while they were married to me. They had no interest. They might have been arseholes for different reasons but they didn't lie about this.

I haven't a clue if they do so now and care not a jot what they do but it's bollocks that all men do. Sorry if that's against the grain of the MN massive but it's true IME.

Futterby Sun 07-Jul-13 00:33:21

That's rubbish, curlew. I'm a student nurse with a volunteer job helping to run a club for autistic children, and I regularly donate to charity and give gifts (not money) to homeless people. Yesterday I was first to assist an 80 year old man who collapsed in the street. I donate blood, I'm on the Anthony Nolan register and the Organ Donor's register (have been since I was 12) and am planning to donate breast milk to the hospital that I'll be giving birth in in November. I watch the occasional blue flick.

I never, ever broadcast the good that I try to do, but your comment offended me massively. Because I like to watch the occasional dirty video, are you saying that all the good that I try to do is discounted and that I'm not a decent person? Because I try as hard as I possibly can.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Jul-13 00:36:07

I'm not so sure really.

There are plenty of 'decent' posters on MN who won't dismiss a whole industry because they can't be totally sure of how ethical it is.

For example, in the 2 and a half years I've been on MN, I've seen tons of threads about how upset posters are that they received the 'wrong' kind of flowers on Mother's Day/Valentine's Day/Birthdays. They weren't the kind they liked or they were purchased from a garage/no thought went into the purchase.

But in all that time I've yet to see an angry/upset MNetter in tears because the flowers/chocolate/whatever wasn't Fair Trade.

Equally I've never seen a thread from someone angry/upset that their DH bought them chocolates, where the cocoa beans were sourced by young children and adults forced to work/traffiked into working in dreadful conditions with cancer causing chemicals etc...

Lots of us will be posting using computers/mobile phones where we can't be sure of the conditions/health/fairness of the workers involved in producing them.

And don't even start me on designer handbags/shoes/clothes.

I've yet to see a poster write off an entire industry (other than porn) because they're unsure of how the workers are treated.

FreyaSnow Sun 07-Jul-13 00:37:54

Futterby, what is the point of your post? If you wrote all of that and finished by saying and I also sometimes steal from collection boxes, punch kittens etc would those suddenly become the actions of a decent person just because you're a student nurse?

Futterby Sun 07-Jul-13 00:41:07

The point of my post is to day that I try bloody hard to be a decent person, and that just because I watch the occasional dirty video doesn't mean I'm not. If you'll care to actually read my post, the fact that I'm a student nurse was a minor point.

Futterby Sun 07-Jul-13 00:42:03

*say

FreyaSnow Sun 07-Jul-13 00:45:57

so are you saying that because you are a decent person when you do something that other people consider unethical, then

a. the act cannot possibly be unethical because you do it and you're a decent person, or...
b. the act is unethical but it is okay for you to be unethical on that particular occasion because you're such a decent person the rest of the time?

Futterby Sun 07-Jul-13 00:47:32

Or

c. In my opinion the act is not unethical.

FreyaSnow Sun 07-Jul-13 00:52:59

So what is the point of you going into all the details of your life? Other people consider porn an unethical thing that decent people don't do. No amount of going on about your volunteer work etc is going to change their minds that what you're doing is unethical.

If you think it is okay to watch it, you just have to accept different people have different moral standards.

Futterby Sun 07-Jul-13 00:54:00

So I'm a bad person because I enjoy the occasional dirty video?

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