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AIBU not to pay Plumber who groped me

(143 Posts)
Sazzle41 Wed 03-Jul-13 10:52:38

Am still wobbly tbh. He was pointing out it wasnt drains but rats nest re. smell, i bent to look and he walked across the bathroom, grabbed my hips and ground against me. I immed. said get off and he said "sorry, its the proximity". Yes, because you walked across the bathroom to get to me. So wobbly i got rid asap and realised had no cash and he couldnt take card. He then said he would come back tonite for the cash. I then got mad and texted him not to come back as i was going to report him & def not paying him. Can I , should I report him? I felt horribly vulnerable and its been a vile 2months already without feeling invaded in my own flat. Or should i just not think about other vulnerable women having to put up with that/would police even care?? And what about the posh 'village magazine' he advertises in? (its that kind of village, why i picked it, safe, neighbourhood watch etc)..Sorry to be so wussy but shaken...

PedantMarina Wed 17-Jul-13 05:43:14

Thanks for the update, OP, and hope you're feeling better now (more empowered, anyway).

I'm torn between wanting to ask for further update and what others have said (about possibly prejudicing a court case). If you can let us know, please do.

Is it possible to get this moved to OTBT or something?

Gonnabmummy Fri 05-Jul-13 22:52:47

sazzle just read your post hope your ok. Hope everything went well with the police today and he gets whats coming to him dirty get

Ilovemyself Fri 05-Jul-13 22:35:39

Fair enough. I just wouldn't want the scumbag to get off on a technicality because of something said on here. I hope you know where I am coming from.

ILove I don't need to know what was discussed, but I'd like to know she's getting support.

BOF Fri 05-Jul-13 21:40:04

I think that is unlikely, tbh, ilovemyself. There are no identifying details, and it's not a national news story.

Ilovemyself Fri 05-Jul-13 21:30:49

I think we shouldn't really ask how things went. If this goes to court which I think we all hope it does discussing the issue on an open forum could prove prejudicial to the case.

I know you've already done so, but def right thing to do to report him. Is he a sole trader do you know? If he's employed complain to employers as well. What a creep, well done you for getting in touch with the police.

TVTonight Fri 05-Jul-13 15:57:30

How did you get on today with Police?

greyhound I've had that happen to me too. Awful, just awful.

sazzle well done for going to the police. As easy as it is saying to call them, when you are in that situation it really isnt. Glad you have been brave enough.

bellasuewow Thu 04-Jul-13 20:57:59

What a wanker give him a choice write up on checks trade or rated people if he is registered with either of them

Ilovemyself Thu 04-Jul-13 20:57:22

Well done. I can't even imagine what you had to go through to report the scumbag.

I hope he gets what he deserves.

There is one positive to come from this is you have almost certainly saved someone else from going through what you have.

CrapBag Thu 04-Jul-13 20:45:51

Well done for reporting and thanks for the advice Marina. Unfortunately I have had worse experience and a couple of other 'minor' things when I was younger. One which my dad sorted out and I doubt the boy ever made remarks like it again, another which nothing was done. Nothing done about the worse experience either as it was a his word against mine and I didn't think people would believe a 15 could be an naïve as I was. sad

Its all too common I find.

Keep us updated OP. smile

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Thu 04-Jul-13 20:35:55

Well done, you are very brave x

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 04-Jul-13 19:08:47

Ah - have seen your update.

Well done reporting him. What a horrible experience for you,vile man.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 04-Jul-13 19:07:53

100% do not pay him!

As other have said report him.

CalamityJ Thu 04-Jul-13 18:52:27

Well done OP. So important to stop this happening to someone else in your village.

StickEmUpPunk Thu 04-Jul-13 18:23:34

Well done on reporting this. I feel so sorry for you.
flowers

Greyhound Thu 04-Jul-13 18:20:58

Just seen this - well done for contacting the police. I was groped by a guy who pressed his dick into my backside whilst I was on the tube. It was awful. The train was crowded and I couldn't get away sad I wish I'd called the police but, in those circumstances, I doubt they would have caught him.

Buzzardbird Thu 04-Jul-13 16:50:55

It happened to me when I was about 14 at a bus stop by a great big, about 20 years older than me Hells Angel. I was too scared to do or say anything and no-one tried to help me.
I am so pleased that you were braver than me. I regret not reporting but back in those days awful things went un-reported.

Sazzle41 Thu 04-Jul-13 16:38:58

No he didnt try re the £ MarinaIvy, giving statement to Police tomorrow and emailed village mag he advertises in giving police ref no. Just angry he thought it was ok and then sad... what kind of upbrininging produces that warped mindset towards women, he must have 'learnt' it somewhere.

MarinaIvy Thu 04-Jul-13 15:57:47

Ooh, OP - did he try to collect the money? And how did the police go?

MarinaIvy Thu 04-Jul-13 15:49:34

Oh, and here's my personal experience:

Groped in a Tube station by a busker. He very deliberately took his hand off his guitar and squeezed my breast (no accident, tripping, etc). He knew exactly where to stand so the CCTV didn't catch it.

The police let me know after the trial (he got off, btw), that he'd had priors, mainly flashing types of offenced. So assault was of course a progression.

I don't know what he's doing since, or perhaps if at least that trouble put a bit of a halt to it. Doubt it.

Don't mean to hijack. My point is: Yes, they do progress if they're not stopped.

MarinaIvy Thu 04-Jul-13 15:41:59

Glad you reported, OP.

Crapbag, and anybody else who had "little" brushes like this: get angry! And faster!!!

I think we all suffer too much from a "ooh, what if I'm wrong" element of things, but look at it like this: they wouldn't dare do this with a man. Keep that plastered in the top of your head.

Think about how men kick seven shades of crap out of each other for as little as "oi, you looking at me?". OK, an overgeneralisation, and I'm not recommending violence much, but I'd rather err on the side of getting stroppy than feel like a mug afterwards.

Seriously, we need to be doing society some good works here. This needs to stop. angry

lurkingfromhome Thu 04-Jul-13 15:40:33

Well done, sazzle. You have quite probably saved at least one more woman from serious sexual assault. I would be utterly horrified at the thought of letting a workman into my house who had committed such a vile act to another woman previously. That was very brave of you and please don't think of playing down what was a disgusting violation in your own home. Hope you're feeling a bit better for having taken that first step.

Samu2 Thu 04-Jul-13 14:02:33

Well done, please keep us updated when you can.

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