Sorry, another wedding one

(240 Posts)
Ilovemyself Tue 02-Jul-13 22:09:42

My Sister In Law is getting married next year and my wife is going to be a bridesmaid. We have twins and a 3rd who will be 2 and 5 months and 1 and 5 months.

We are all invited to the wedding ( good start lol)

Whilst discussing the wedding Sister in law said " you will just have to look after the kids whilst bridesmaid duties are being carried out"

I will never have a problem looking after my children but think that she had not thought about the situation.

We live an hour and a half away, so I can't look after the children at home. There is no way children can be looked after at the brides house, as there will be too much going on and not enough room.

I am left to look after the children for 3-4 hours before the wedding and get them ready for the wedding with nowhere to go.

My wife says forget about it but I am all too aware that we will get to the date and I will be left to just get on with it and will have to struggle on the day.

I have said if a solution cannot be found I would rather stay at home with the children than go and have a struggle of a day.

Am I being unreasonable on 2 counts- one with my sister in law for her couldn't care less attitude, and one with my wife for saying just ignore it?

CrapBag Tue 02-Jul-13 22:11:33

Why can't you leave for the wedding later with the kids?

CMOTDibbler Tue 02-Jul-13 22:14:12

Just book a hotel room for the night before the wedding, and for that night. Then you've got somewhere to be.

NatashaBee Tue 02-Jul-13 22:14:18

Why can't you just travel separately or stay over in a hotel nearby?

grobagsforever Tue 02-Jul-13 22:14:34

Crapbag I'm guessing only one car? But seriously op, man up. Cafe? Park? Drop your stuff at venue and explore.

Are you fully aware of what the arrangements are?

If you are that far away - wouldn't your wife have to stay the night the night before the wedding?? I mean doesn't the getting ready start very early?

Surely you could travel separately? Or arrange for you all to stay the night before? Aren't there any other family/ friends close by who you could hang out with for a few hours?

You seem to have jumped to the decision not to go, where there are a number of other solutions.

I think Y would BVU not to find a workable solution to this, as it really isn't a massive problem. Which is why maybe your wife isn't responding in the way you would wish.

Explain to your wife you are concerned about where/ how you will look after them and find a solution. Not going would be very silly IMHO.

Ilovemyself Tue 02-Jul-13 22:14:47

My wife doesn't drive, and even if she passes her test by then we can't afford a second car :-(

stiffstink Tue 02-Jul-13 22:15:32

Are you planning on travelling 1.5 hours there and back with three under three? What time are you staying till? Would a hotel be easier?

CSIJanner Tue 02-Jul-13 22:15:58

Question - how do you think all those other half's with young children cope when their husbands/partners are best men and helping the groom on the day with weddings being some hours away from home?

My DH has just read this and said "suck it up". I would agree.

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 02-Jul-13 22:16:03

Your wife should go to her sisters the night before and you can follow on the next day, leaving home to arrive in time for the wedding so you're not hanging around for ages beforehand.

CrapBag Tue 02-Jul-13 22:16:18

Good point grobags grin.

I agree with grobags. Its a few hours with your own children. You seem to want to be told a solution that you can follow. <cough> typical man sorry.

Bowlersarm Tue 02-Jul-13 22:16:58

Are you staying away from home for the wedding, or travelling to and from in one day?

landofsoapandglory Tue 02-Jul-13 22:17:12

Isn't there a Premier Inn/Holiday Inn Express type place nearby? Book in there for a couple of nights, it's only about £29 a room.

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 02-Jul-13 22:17:20

In the nicest way possible get a grip.

CrapBag Tue 02-Jul-13 22:17:45

So if she doesn't drive then why can't she go with someone else earlier then you can follow, or like others said, get a hotel else you are going to be travelling back late with young children anyway.

Ilovemyself Tue 02-Jul-13 22:17:56

Hi giant. I have said I want to find a solution but all I have got is don't worry, it will be ok. I want to sort it out now, rather than wait until it is closer to the date and becomes an issue.

I think it needs to come from my wife as it is her family although I have said I will let her sister know what I see to be a problem.

We're talking about 3 toddlers for a couple of hours right??

If push came to shove I'd find a soft play place or park near, let them run around, then change outfits before plonking them in the car.

Really think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill here OP. Particularly if we are talking about a couple of hours!

ILove - why don't you make arrangements?

Bowlersarm Tue 02-Jul-13 22:19:54

I'm not really sure what the issue is. Is it that you'll have to look after your children while your wife is busy being a bridesmaid?

numbum Tue 02-Jul-13 22:20:07

Oh dear poor you tries to find tiny violin to play a sad tune but fails

IceNoSlice Tue 02-Jul-13 22:20:23

Put DW on a train for the early morning 'bridesmaid duties' then travel down with DCs later? Oh and - suck it up.

numbum Tue 02-Jul-13 22:20:44

I think there's more to this. Your username is too apt for the thread grin

landofsoapandglory Tue 02-Jul-13 22:21:26

I agree with giantpurple, you are making a mountain out of a molehill. It isn't until next year, FFS and it will only be for a couple of hours. I think you are looking for a problem that isn't there, tbh.

Ilovemyself Tue 02-Jul-13 22:21:56

We are the only people from this part of the country. We can't afford a hotel even if it is a cheap one. Of course I am happy to spend time with my children and can think of things to do with them, but then getting them ready in the car isn't particularly fair on them.

We would drive there and back in a day - I don't care if I don't drink so that isn't an issue.

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 02-Jul-13 22:22:00

Stay at home and be a sulky martyr then, if you make this into an issue with your wife's family they will all roll their eyes and think "knob"

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