To leave a 'friends' house after watching him hit his 9 year old.... V hard

(146 Posts)
Yummyummy Tue 02-Jul-13 18:36:02

20 stone bloke, after about 10 beers and a few spirits..... His daughter caught his foot by accident running by, he turned round and walked over to her and absolutely belted her across her bare thigh ( she was in a vest top and shorts)

Me dh and our dc walked calmly to the door, dh said he didn't feel comfortable with what we just witnessed , we r leaving and we drive home 40 miles even though we should have stayed over.

Now receiving emails asking why we havent been in touch since and how we should apologise for leaving and questioning him in his own house.

He's getting even angrier that we haven't responded so far. Coming through thick and fast and I am actually a tiny bit concerned thinking if he could hit his child like this ten what is he capable of?

Not sure how to deal with this :/ don't want to any ANY fuel

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 02-Jul-13 18:39:45

YABU to be scared for yourself but leave that poor child to bear the brunt of his temper. You should have reported the bastard.

MrsWolowitz Tue 02-Jul-13 18:40:09

Tell him why you left.

Then report him.

If he does that with an audience imagine what he could be doing behind closed doors. Poor kid.

CoffeeBucks Tue 02-Jul-13 18:40:55

You absolutely did the right thing. I'd recommend cutting ties, but if you're worried about the girl's safety, it might be best to remain a bit closer to keep an eye on things.

sad though. That poor girl.

Cherriesarelovely Tue 02-Jul-13 18:40:56

That is sickening. What a hideous man. I would tell him exactly why you left and consider reporting him to ss or police.

Do you want lots of people to say you did the right thing. You extracted yourself from having to witness assault on a minor and did feck all about the actual abusers!

No brownie points from me I'm afraid!

StuntGirl Tue 02-Jul-13 18:43:42

Ignore him.

Report it.

TalkativeJim Tue 02-Jul-13 18:44:28

I can't believe you left without calling the police.

He assaulted his daughter.

It's not too late to report it: do so.

MrsWolowitz Tue 02-Jul-13 18:44:53

Were there other witnesses?

Is he alone with the girl now?

pudcat Tue 02-Jul-13 18:45:08

Report him. If he can do than in front of you, what is he like with no witnesses. I would be worried that he is now taking his anger out on the child. The poor child.

notnowbernard Tue 02-Jul-13 18:46:39

10 beers and a few spirits?

I'd be worried about leaving a kid in the care of an adult who's had that much to drink whether they've assaulted them or not

I think you made the wrong call leaving him with her in those circumstances

blackbirdatglanmore Tue 02-Jul-13 18:46:39

Actually, I think you did the right thing.

My parents were awful to me (verbally, rather than physically, but still.) They felt justified in doing so because their friends "agreed with them" (they took embarrassed silences/nervous titters to be agreement.)

By walking out you are sending a clear message across his behaviour went beyond the realms of normality.

It's all very well saying that the OP should have reported it to SS or the police but in the real world, would anything actually have happened? I daresay they would have taken it as a smack and left it. The sort of discomfort elicited from a friend just leaving is far more effective, I feel.

auntmargaret Tue 02-Jul-13 18:48:26

I'd call police. Poor child. If he does that in front of people, God knows what he does behind closed doors. She needs help. Please give it.

StuntGirl Tue 02-Jul-13 18:50:17

Oh yes blackbird, his persistent harassing of them certainly sounds like a man who has learnt his lesson.

Report him. That poor child deserves to know someone cares.

Yes Blackbird, turn your back. FFS am amazed anyone would think that.

The police would take it seriously.

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 02-Jul-13 18:51:53

I am pretty damn sure two adults saying a drunk man unnecessarily walloping a child would not just be treated as a smack and ignored by police.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Tue 02-Jul-13 18:51:56

Just wondering if you did anything to comfort that poor girl? I know you wanted to get out of there but poor her. Hope she didn't get another hiding after you'd left.

I wouldn't wanted be friends with someone like this. And I would definitely report him to SS.

McNewPants2013 Tue 02-Jul-13 18:52:26

i would have phoned the police.

you was right to leave

auntmargaret Tue 02-Jul-13 18:54:00

The police would be interested. And it would trigger SS involvement.

EleanorFarjeon Tue 02-Jul-13 18:55:02

I would have left too. And reported it.

blackbirdatglanmore Tue 02-Jul-13 18:55:39

Fair enough. I am sure the OP will contact the police now, I wonder what they will do?

He sounds like a horrible man, I completely agree, I'm just genuinely not sure the police could actually do much, although admittedly my dealings with the police haven't filled me with confidence (when reporting crimes, that is - I'm not a criminal!)

It isn't about teaching him a lesson at all - arseholes tend to stay arseholes - but the daughter will have noted that his friends viewed his behaviour as unacceptable and that's a start.

quietbatperson Tue 02-Jul-13 18:58:38

Ah yes, the old MN game where the OP gets the blame and is as guilty as the person that administered the abuse. It's a timeless classic hmm

YWNBU to walk out, but do call the Police about both the incident and the subsequent harassment of you.

Where was the girl's mum OP?

MadBusLady Tue 02-Jul-13 19:00:38

Jesus, report it. What on earth will he do to her in private if he does this in front of witnesses?

louisianablue2000 Tue 02-Jul-13 19:02:07

It's a hard one. A large drunk man is not someone I'd want to get on the wrong side of but I'd want to do something for the girl like get her the hell out of the house. Does the girl have a mother? Does she know?

PPs are right, you need to report it. Immediately.

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 02-Jul-13 19:02:40

Not as guilty quietbatperson, but worst case scenario imagine that girl dies through one beating too many. The press will go mad and the nation will shout 'why did nobody do anything?' And indeed why not?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now