Playground politics??

(49 Posts)
HeffalumpTheFlump Tue 02-Jul-13 17:32:13

I am currently pg with my first child and am already dreading her going to school because of what I have read on here about the playground politics that goes on. Is it really as bad as it's made out? Are there any of you out there who have managed to escape this crap? It sounds like cliquey, bitchy, passive aggressive bullshit that I would absolutely hate. Is it even possible to have your child attend a school without having to deal with all that?

If not wibu to home school my child because it sounds like my absolute worst nightmare??

I live on the same road as a primary school and there has recently been a full on physical fight between some of the mums. They have been warned by the school that if there is a repeat, they will no longer be allowed on school property. Why on earth does it need to be like that? What is it about the school environment that makes these fully grown adults act like high school kids again?

Obviously I'm not a parent yet so if I have got the wrong end of the stick I am happy to be told iabu!

burberryqueen Fri 05-Jul-13 15:34:08

yeh it can be bad, but don't worry about that yet....i used to arrive 5 mins late on purpose...

Osmiornica Fri 05-Jul-13 15:31:18

I've never heard of anything like that in our school. I don't even think there are cliques either - at least I've not noticed. People seem happy to say hello and stuff. It only takes 2 people to have an argument and tarnish the rest of the parents with the same brush. I expect most of the rest are perfectly normal.

LadyBryan Wed 03-Jul-13 11:22:47

Teeny little prep school here.

We have friendship groups of course, and some people I like better than others. But there's certinaly no nastiness, no public bitchiness.

Be adult, be civil, be pleasant. Easy smile

freddiefrog Wed 03-Jul-13 09:18:35

Our school is a bit cliquey, although no fisticuffs yet

I stay well out of it, I get there just in time to drop them/pick them up without having to hang around too long

HeffalumpTheFlump Wed 03-Jul-13 09:10:09

That's it exactly Louee, i love thinking about what's to come and wondering what motherhood will be like. I'm not staying up at night panicking about this, I was simply curious.

The homeschooling part was said in jest to illustrate my hate of bitchy crap etc. I wouldn't really keep my child from attending a normal school just to avoid this stuff.

louee93 Wed 03-Jul-13 00:50:27

Oh but i think YABU to consider home-schooling your child on the basis of what you might think the dynamic amongst the mothers will be. This has nothing to do with the best interests of your child.

louee93 Wed 03-Jul-13 00:47:37

im pg with my first too and this has crossed my mind- its part of fantasising about what sort of parent you'll be. When my brothers and I were at primary school my mum would pick us up and drop us off (I'd have to walk up the road to get in her car) and never interact with other mums, even resorting to calling them 'sad bitches' and saying they had no life for chatting at the gates. I now suspect this was jealousy or insecurity on her part- maybe she never integrated with the mums when we were at playgroup so didn't have the confidence to stand in the playground in case she was put in a position where she was the only one standing alone. I would like to think that when the time comes, I'll be able to make friends amongst the other mums, and hopefully avoid any 'Mean Girl' type cliquey scenarios.

So imo you are not BU for wondering

Balaboosta Tue 02-Jul-13 23:12:46

I like the mums in our school!

GiveMumABreak Tue 02-Jul-13 22:31:26

No playground politics at our school ( well if there is its minor an all goes over my head!)

I suppose you have to take into account people really only post about issues - nobody is going to post asking for advice when things are fine and dandy - which is most of the time!

SuburbanRhonda Tue 02-Jul-13 22:25:18

Your DC isn't even born yet and you're worrying about this? shock

CrapBag Tue 02-Jul-13 22:14:27

I was dreading this too when my DS started last year. I was determined that I was going to get there as the bell rang, stand on my own and just not interact.

Didn't happen. The parents all seem lovely and nobody seems to want to get into playground politics. So far so good. If anything ever does happen in the future (which I can't see really) I'll just keep out of it. If it involves the kids behaviour then I'll say its a matter for the teacher to deal with.

thegreylady Tue 02-Jul-13 21:01:16

When I take/collect my two dgs all the other parents [not just mums] and grandparents seem lovely.

witchface Tue 02-Jul-13 20:31:41

Im looking forward to August in the hope there will be fist fights now! I doubt it though that must be quite unusual surely.

NigelMolesworth Tue 02-Jul-13 18:59:03

Everyone is very nice at our school (either that or I am blissfully unaware !!).
Here are my rules:
1. Talk to everyone (only about mundane isn't the weather nice/what are you doing at the weekend type things)
2. Look friendly and repeat step 1
3. Avoid the stirrer like the plague (there is always one and you will work out who they are v quickly!)
4. Leg it for the car as soon as child leaves school

All will be well!

Cherriesarelovely Tue 02-Jul-13 18:53:40

Barbarian I completely agree with you. All the things I thought would be difficult haven't and vice versa

VeganCow Tue 02-Jul-13 18:53:34

You walk into school grounds at drop off and pick up. You stand and wait til the doors open. You will see groups of parents talking, and you will see individual parents standing alone. Some parents already know each other from home, some have got to know by starting to chat. Some prefer to stand alone.

Totally up to you how you do it.

wonkylegs Tue 02-Jul-13 18:53:31

DSs school is full of nice parents/grandparents/childminders at drop off and pick up.
DS was one of only a handful who hadn't come up from nursery and we were welcomed really well.
Some people obviously know some others better but everyone is chatty & friendly.
I hope his new school when we move is as good.

Cherriesarelovely Tue 02-Jul-13 18:52:11

I've experienced both, lovely friendly parents and not so friendly much as you would expect from 2 massive schools. I've made some great friends but have also had a couple of run ins. Must admit I'm glad I work part time and that my Dd will be at high school soon.

BarbarianMum Tue 02-Jul-13 18:51:44

OP there are things in your child's future that will cause you great anxiety and sleepless nights. But they are rarely the things you think in advance will be a problem.

Don't worry about stuff that's years away. The future will come and you'll deal with what it holds.

maillotjaune Tue 02-Jul-13 18:50:34

Ours is pretty friendly too. I do wonder about all these cliquey playgrounds - often what one person thinks is a clique is just a few parents who are friends because they are neighbours / used the same pre-school / are extended family etc. They are usually friendly to others too.

A few people are a bit unpleasant but then you'll get that in any gathering of a dew hundred people won't you.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 02-Jul-13 18:48:53

If anyone did any car key parties in my clique it would all be bike locks and walking boots! None of us drive! We'd likely chip the coffee table.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 02-Jul-13 18:47:58

Fun are you sure that's not the bitching gossip of the REAL coven?

LadyFace Tue 02-Jul-13 18:47:57

It's not like that at my dd's school. Everyone is friendly and there are friendship groups but it's not cliquey. No bunfights to my knowledge!

However, there is another local school which is known to be full of social climbing queen bee types.

I think that the school's reputation seems to dictate the parental behaviour iyswim. Dd's school is a more nurturing, family type environment whereas the other school is very results orientated.

FunLovinBunster Tue 02-Jul-13 18:46:33

Jimmybob...snork.
In one year group there is a coven of blonde mums. Rumour has it they have chucked their keys into the middle of the table on at least one occasion....

FunLovinBunster Tue 02-Jul-13 18:45:01

Our school is a bit cliquey, especially DDs class. However I have met some other lovely mums in other year groups, so it's not as bad as it could be! Home schooling just to avoid the shit flinging is a bit drastic though!

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