AIBU to never have this workman back for any other jobs because he let himself into my home silently when I was actually in?(35 Posts)
I am still reeling from this incident on Friday and wondered how other would have reacted:
We are having a bedroom re-plastered and decorated by a painter and decorator, Mark, who was recommended to us. As there are various coats that have to dry, he has been coming and going between our house and his other jobs. I work part time and gave him a key on Tuesday as I work Wednesday and Thursday, so he could let himself in when I was at work. On Friday I was having coffee at home with a friend. Both our cars were on the drive. Mid-morning I stayed in the siting room whilst she went to the loo and as she came out of the bathroom she screamed because Mark was standing outside. Obviously this gave her a terrible shock. I ran upstairs. Mark had let himself in without ringing the door bell or shouting out hello, and walked quietly upstairs.
I was aghast and said to him "Why didn't you ring the bell, you've given us a fright?"
He replied crossly"Well that's why you gave me a key.... ok -I'll go and ring it now!"
He started to go downstairs!
Seething at this, I said as calmly as I could" You don't have to ring the bell now, but please ring the bell next time you come, in case someone is in"
He then said petulantly " Well I'll give you your key back then"
I said "No, I want you to finish the job but I would prefer to know who is in the house. You could have caught me naked or in an embarrassing situation, didn't you see the cars outside?"
Mark"No I didn't look!, none of my other clients mind if I let myself in"
Me " Well. I do so please don't give me any more scares"
(NB he must have seen the cars as he has been parking on the drive but had to park on the road on Friday)
My friend was horrified and said she thought he was very rude.
Anyway he stayed and did the paint priming. I took him up a cup of tea about half an hour later when we had a normal conversation about paint colours.
Hopefully he will finish in the next couple of days, so I shall get the key back and have vowed never to have him back. My husband think I am over reacting.
I read the descriptions of him and his actions and wondered whether he was on the autistic spectrum? To take your instructions so literally just strikes a chord.
Why on earth are some of you so suspicious and accusing the oOP of writing a book? there is nothing remotely unbelievable or sensationalist about this event.
OP, I think he was in the wrong to just walk in without knocking - common sense would have told him he should try knocking first, especially as he could hardly have missed the two cars on the drive.
But perhaps in hindsight you should have had that conversation with him at the point you gave him the key, and explained that it was a just in case' measure, leaving no room for awkward misunderstandings.
I have had a very similar thing happen to me, BTW, a couple of times, and I have thought it was rude and inappropriate.
Ha ha, yes it really has the language of a badly written novel.
I clearly don't have the same level of outrage as the OP, when we moved to a new village our lovely new neighbour came over unannounced (it was one of those places where people just walk in) and came across me naked. He was gorgeous, I just don't think it was really appropriate for the many children he had with him!
I always wonder with window cleaners what is "normal" - the first I ever know of ours arriving is when I hear a noise and then realise he's there half way through cleaning a window. I don't know in advance when he's coming and he doesn't knock first to warn me.
With regards to the decorator YANBU because whilst he may genuinely have thought it was appropriate not to disturb you and your friend his reaction to you speaking to him about it was rude and sarcastic.
My experience with builders is the opposite, always knocking to let me know they were there and asking if it's ok to come in and use the toilet when I've already shown them where things are and would rather they just got on with it.
I think most tradespeople are keen to be visible and wary of awkward situations. He sounds socially inept at least. His reaction was rude and odd. It's just not a good idea to argue with your client.
He seems not to have understood 'key for the days I'm not here', had you stated that clearly? But no, don't use someone you're not comfortable with.
I sort of snorted a bit at his comment of going back down to knock
I think he was inconsiderate but I doubt there was any malice in it and he was probably scratching his head thinking 'WTF just happened" in his oblivion.
It really upset me and has haunted me for the last 2 days as I felt, and still feel so vulnerable.
You ARE over-reacting, YOU gave HIM a key! If he had broken in then its a different matter but by giving him a key you have given him free access to your home. Silly girl!
Ffs, you gave him the bloody key! There was a thread on here not long ago where everyone decided the op was nbu because she had not answered the door to an electrician who had rung the bell when he had the key. Trades just want to get on with the bloody job. YABVU. And making a fuss about nothing.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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