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to feel sorry for children whose parents smoke?

(188 Posts)
strawberry34 Sat 29-Jun-13 14:11:38

I was walking through the park today and saw a couple sitting with their baby, they were both smoking whilst baby was next to them inhaling their fumes. I felt sorry for the child, for years it's been known that smoking is bad for everyone and passive smoking is dangerous.

It's also known that having a parent who is a smoker increases your likelihood of becoming a smoker when you grow up. I know there will be human rights people who object to me judging parents who smoke, but I do feel sorry for their children. Surely quitting smoking is a small price to pay for your children's future health, it's not like health advice on smoking has changed recently, campaigns have gone on for decades warning of the damage, there are no benefits as far as I can see.

LastTangoInDevonshire Sat 29-Jun-13 17:09:12

La La La La La La - sing the song again - La La La La La La.

hamilton75 Sat 29-Jun-13 17:12:05

Alisvolatpropiis

Thank you

Heavy drinkers/mortally obese as opposed to being a bit overweight or liking a tipple then yes, I suppose I do but having said that imho smoking is worse due to the passive smoking risk which doesn't really apply to drinking and eating.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty England Sat 29-Jun-13 17:16:03

All the facts about obesity in the world do not negate the ones about smoking

No-one said it negates it.

But anyone willing to be pregnant while overweight or obese clearly isn't putting their baby first.

In exactly the same way a smoker isn't.

Risks are risks. So it's hypocritical for people to keep pointing at smokers when they were willing to take such risks with their own kids.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 29-Jun-13 17:18:30

I understand that view hamilton.

I suppose I may well feel differently once I have children. At the moment I enjoy smoking and haven't given quitting any serious effort. That will probably change in time.

LimitedEditionLady Sat 29-Jun-13 17:19:36

I smoke.My child has never seen me smoke.None of my family smoke,just me.None of my family know I smoke.I do feel a bit sad when I see people pushing prams smoking and smoke in childrens faces.My grandfather smoked a pipe in the house when I was a kid but it's not the reason that I started smoking and in that time not long ago no one batted an eyelid.My choice to smoke doesn't affect my childs future so yrah the first paragraph fine but don't tar everyone with the same brush.There are bigger problems in this world.

pompeii Sat 29-Jun-13 17:25:24

expatinscotland, before you wet your undergarments, I suggest you look up what a straw man argument is, as it is wise to understand the terminology of a post before attempting to ridicule it.

I never said I was a great parent Hamilton and if I ever had of known I would have children believe me I wouldn't have started smoking and I actually got patches yesterday to try and stop . Nobody's a perfect parent.

I suppose what gets my back up about this thread is that, as obesity has been brought up, I certainly wouldn't start a thread about how sorry I feel for kids to obese parents. I have never been any more than a size 8 so I have no experience to judge anyone who does struggle with their weight.

Anyway I'm sure the op's got what they want. The usual lynching with angry pitchforks against smokers and the smokers getting their back up and angry too.

Adieu

I've never smoked. But I'm obese. So I'm a shit mum, and apparently the cause of all evil in the world today. Thanks for clarifying that in case it wasn't made clear to me already

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 17:36:37

One person in my family got and died of cancer in my entire family full of obese people (I am not) and my parents who smoked: my forever 9- year-old who never smoked, drank or was around that.

Life is about risks. And whilst certain behaviours make premature death more likely, nothing is guaranteed except that one day, every single one of us will die and, in the grand scheme of things, we actually have quite little control over how and when.

This is frightening, so it's common and normal to try to rationalise ourselves out of it, judge others, 'Those smokers are going to die soon, but I won't because I don' (insert behaviour),' when in fact, none of us knows FA about our own demise.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Sat 29-Jun-13 17:37:24

It is also important not to overgeneralise Worra - these "people' pointing their fingers at smokers - not all of them are going to be overweight or obese. Additionally, not everyone who is overweight or obese has the choice in that - smoking: always a choice.

So I can then qualify my own statement - yes ok, there are smoking parents who take measures to minimise the effects on children, and good for them. However, returning to that anecdotal evidence that smokers love - from going to my friend's house after school for just a couple of hours and coming back stinking (uniform straight in wash etc) I do feel particularly sorry for children of smokers who are living in that environment. I don't believe you can completely remove the impact of it.

WorraLiberty England Sat 29-Jun-13 17:37:31

Gwendoline what's being pointed out is the hypocrisy of people willing to judge one group but not the other.

Personally I think everyone should just chill out and stop pointing fingers full stop.

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 17:40:09

I understand completely what one is, and I never wear undergarments, pompeii. But here is some more rope, I pull it out my arse.

WorraLiberty England Sat 29-Jun-13 17:40:15

Additionally, not everyone who is overweight or obese has the choice in that - smoking: always a choice.

Sorry but I think that's crap.

Smoking is an addiction, the same as many many MNetters will tell you they're addicted to food.

Both carry risks during pregnancy and both should therefore be sorted out before TTC.

One does not trump the other imo.

morethanpotatoprints Sat 29-Jun-13 17:40:35

Well you learn something everyday. Passive smoking in the open air.
Although we do live in the NW, maybe it blows away quicker than other places.
What are you on OP?

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 17:42:06

Ah, yes, obesity as a non-choice. Here we go again.

I don't smoke, am not overweight, drink once in a while.

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 17:42:48

Still going to die, though.

pompeii Sat 29-Jun-13 17:43:09

You clearly don't, however I'm not really interested in reasoning with somebody who responds in non sequiturs.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Sat 29-Jun-13 17:44:45

People can be overweight due to health reasons, or are naturally larger. Yes, I accept that it is predominantly lifestyle choice. And yes, before TTC, fine. Someone still had to make the choice to start smoking - to become addicted. True of eating a burger, or drinking alcohol yes, but no less so for smoking.

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 17:45:16

Touché, pompeii. I love it when people get insulting and personal. Still fun, even after 9 years on here.

LimitedEditionLady Sat 29-Jun-13 17:50:05

My great grandmother smoked like a chimney and drank brandy like water every day and lived until 96 with no real health problems over that age related.How do I explain that?I have no clue.Everyone is different.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Sat 29-Jun-13 17:50:12

My parents smoked around us all the time and we grew up to smoke but I really think I took it up because my friends did it rather than my parents. I gave it when I fell pregnant and it was bloody hard, I was lucky enough to be with a supportive partner who gave it with me, some people have such stressful lives that I'd rather they had a couple of fags than shout their heads off. Most people who smoke seem to try not to do it around their kids, it's not the best thing and its not the worst and if you never been addicted you can never know wat it's like

WorraLiberty England Sat 29-Jun-13 17:51:00

Someone still had to make the choice to start smoking - to become addicted. True of eating a burger, or drinking alcohol yes, but no less so for smoking.

Yes and they may have made the choice to start smoking when they were young and immature...believing they would never get addicted.

People also make a choice to eat nothing but crap in massive portions...believing they won't get addicted.

But all that ^^ is by the by.

If you're going to grow a new life inside you, you should do all you can to give it the safest possible start.

No matter what your vices or addictions are.

That's why all this judging is so stupid.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Sat 29-Jun-13 17:56:00

I agreed with you about trying to conceive Worra. But then there are endless other things: use of money, use of time, attitude towards driving, use of alcohol, personal fitness, attitude that all have an impact on how you shape your family.

I am a teacher who sees daily children who have not been given the best starts in life by a parent for any one or a plethora of reasons. I hope things like Surestart and breakfast clubs have maybe made a difference in some of these issues.

WorraLiberty England Sat 29-Jun-13 18:00:11

Exactly Antlers

That's why these smoking threads (and there have been so many this week!) are laughable.

They just come across to me as hugely hypocritical.

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