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AIBU?

AIBU to feel pissed of to come home to find that my MIL has cleaned my house?

96 replies

MissTweed · 28/06/2013 18:36

My MIL and I have had the usual kind of relationship over the years, she thinks the sun shines out of her sons arse and I'm not good enough for him. She came to visit yesterday/today and whilst I was at work she cleaned my house. (She has a history of making snidely remarks about cleanliness/cooking etc etc. my DH thinks that I am totally overreacting but I see it as another dig. What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
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Solari · 28/06/2013 18:38

You can send her to me if you like! Grin

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 28/06/2013 18:39

Well I was the same with my MIL at first...she'd do similar. Then Mumsnet told me to just lap it up! If she wants to clean my pan cupboards fine! Thank you very much!

Have more faith in your own ways and just say "Oooh thanks!" Grin Then if she IS trying to undermine you, she's failed....and if it's not an undermining thing then fine!

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SantanaLopez · 28/06/2013 18:39

Would you have called her lazy if she'd sat on her arse?

I think you are being over-sensitive.

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AKissIsNotAContract · 28/06/2013 18:39

Very intrusive. I wouldn't be happy about this either.

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Latara · 28/06/2013 18:39

It was clearly a kind of dig but also... free cleaning, can't complain about that...

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Jinsei · 28/06/2013 18:40

Hmm, well I'd love to come home and find that someone had cleaned my house, but given the circumstances, yanbu!

Why does she criticise your cooking/cleanliness? Does her son not live in the house too?!

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dexter73 · 28/06/2013 18:40

I would be ok with this as I hate cleaning!

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Solari · 28/06/2013 18:41

In all seriousness, I'd love to come home to a clean house done randomly for me. But its not right if you don't want it to happen (its your house), and the snide remarks etc. are also not right. I'd be insisting DH back me up and take my concerns seriously, but would probably stop her directly myself next time she said something (ie. "I hope you're not trying to criticise me. I don't appreciate that.)

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patienceisvirtuous · 28/06/2013 18:41

I would be too grateful to give a shit

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Jinsei · 28/06/2013 18:41

I like Neo's attitude. :)

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SodaStreamy · 28/06/2013 18:41

I'd find it annoying but try and look one the brightside, that's one job done!

Is see a manic cleaner uselly,perhaps that's how she likes to fill her time and thinks she was helping?

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WhoNickedMyName · 28/06/2013 18:41

YABU. Enjoy your lovely clean house.

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cuttingpicassostoenails · 28/06/2013 18:42

You should be leaving her a list...no point her doing jobs that you don't mind doing yourself.

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HildaOgden · 28/06/2013 18:42

Couple of questions...what was your husband doing while his mother cleaned?And who was due to do the cleaning,if she hadn't?

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girliefriend · 28/06/2013 18:42

Really?

Get a grip and be grateful, why is it a dig?

Maybe just maybe she was trying to be helpful .....

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Tilly333 · 28/06/2013 18:43

My MIL once wrote the words DIRTY in the dust underneath a cupboard we had in by daughters bedroom. We have wooden floors that do get dusty very quickly. I found it when next cleaning so left it after adding the word 'still' in front of it. I knew she'd check when she next visited. Nothing was ever mentioned. It made my blood boil at the time, but I do love visiting her and pointing out cobwebs and stuff she's missed whilst cleaning her house. Freak!

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NoisesOff · 28/06/2013 18:43

I'd struggle with this, personally. I'm a very private person and I'd feel a little too invaded.

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MrsLyman · 28/06/2013 18:43

My own view would be that if someone wants to be passive aggressively bitchy about my cleaning ability by making my life easier then more fool them.

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DumSpiroSpero · 28/06/2013 18:44

Better than her bringing pre-packed sandwiched for her lunch, then leaving you a 'to do' list and writing 'DIRTY' in the thin later of dust on top of the log burner...

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StuntGirl · 28/06/2013 18:44

Am assuming she's one of those super cleaning type people and her house is spotless. Next time you're at hers start making comments on you being surprised she missed the grease in the kitchen, or the dust in the bathroom etc. Will drive her mad to think her cleaning is not 'perfect' Grin

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Mintyy · 28/06/2013 18:44

I would HATE this. If your house needs cleaning and your dh has a day off then he should bloody well be doing it.

Yanbu.

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 28/06/2013 18:44

The thing many people hate with MILS is when they do things which are "mothering" by their nature...see my OWN Mum has always washed up or folded stuff when she's here without me....I've never minded..but when my MIL did the same I got all Mother Lion about it....and felt she was undermining my "status" but really...bollocks to all that...life's too short.

There are worse things someone can do than help you out a bit.

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SJisontheway · 28/06/2013 18:44

Good advice from Neo. Refuse to let it get to you.

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Patosshades · 28/06/2013 18:46

Leave her to it. You know it's no reflection on you so don't allow it to niggle away at you.

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Suzieismyname · 28/06/2013 18:46

Unannounced I'd feel as though she'd invaded my privacy but with enough warning to hide anything personal she'd be most welcome. Unfortunately my ILs way of tidying is just clearing everything to the side in big piles. ..

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