Was I rude today to not let him in ?

(50 Posts)
BoysRule Thu 27-Jun-13 21:13:06

This has been praying on my mind today so I need some opinions as to whether I was rude.

A man knocked at the door today - he was wearing a bib and had an ID tag around his neck. I didn't really see the name of the company. It was a children's charity and he was asking for a monthly direct debit. I told him that we have several direct debits for various charities and we couldn't give to any others (this is true). He then said that he wasn't supposed to ask this but he needed the toilet and could he use mine.

I am not normally this ballsy but something just made me say, sorry, I'd rather you didn't. DS2 was upstairs asleep and something just made me uncomfortable - he was one of those over friendly people (trained to be so I am sure) and I just had images of him coming in and something bad happening.

Anyway, it has prayed on me since as he really did only need the toilet I am sure. Was I rude?

Tee2072 Thu 27-Jun-13 21:13:45

Nope. Not at all.

And so what if you were?

BrianTheMole Thu 27-Jun-13 21:15:02

Not if you felt uncomfortable. We've had a couple of taxi drivers come in and use the loo and it felt odd. I didn't like it.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 27-Jun-13 21:15:53

No, If you weren't comfortable, then you were quite right not to let him in. There must be some other contingency for door-to-door people.

yaimee Thu 27-Jun-13 21:15:54

Your safety and feelings trumps rude.
As long as you told him politely yanbu.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Thu 27-Jun-13 21:15:59

YADNBU. He was a weirdo and I bet a legit charity would very much advise against such a request.

Branleuse Thu 27-Jun-13 21:16:18

I had a chugger ask to use my toilet the other day. I gave him the directions to the public toilets nearby instead. They just want to get in your house.

emsyj Thu 27-Jun-13 21:16:20

If something made you uncomfortable then you did the right thing by saying no. I don't think I would let a stranger into my house to use the loo either tbh. There are public toilets within walking distance of my house so I would direct them there.

cozietoesie Thu 27-Jun-13 21:16:29

Not at all. I wouldn't let them across the doorstep!

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 27-Jun-13 21:16:59

No, you don't have to let strangers in your house to use your toilet.

McNewPants2013 Thu 27-Jun-13 21:17:20

yanbu, If people are working in my home then they are free to use the loo, but not some stranger on the door step.

intheshed Thu 27-Jun-13 21:17:36

I wouldn't have let him in.

Cherriesarelovely Thu 27-Jun-13 21:19:15

yanbu at all. Well done for listening to your instincts.

hermioneweasley Thu 27-Jun-13 21:20:06

No, not rude. I woukdn't let a strange man into my house. A bib and a lanyard prove nothing.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Thu 27-Jun-13 21:21:33

No - you did the right thing, you listened to your instincts. A lot of those people are actually checking out the houses to see which ones are worth breaking into.

MyMelody Thu 27-Jun-13 21:22:11

not rude at all, you did the right thing

bigTillyMint Thu 27-Jun-13 21:23:05

YANBU - no way would I have let him in.

TarkaTheOtter Thu 27-Jun-13 21:23:11

YANBU. I would complain to his agency. Completely unprofessional for him to ask.

everlong Thu 27-Jun-13 21:24:46

No way were you rude. Good for you for saying no, caught on the spot like that you could have easily said yes.

Always go with your gut.

BoysRule Thu 27-Jun-13 21:26:19

I did direct him to the nearest public toilet but it is about a 10 minute walk away. Thank you for reassuring me, it is the first time I have done something like that and I did feel uncomfortable saying no.

YANBU at all. I have done door-to-door work and would never have asked to use the loo in someone's house; I used to keep a mental list of places where you can find a loo (Wetherspoons, libraries, big supermarkets, leisure centres)

Coconutty Thu 27-Jun-13 21:28:58

YANBU at all, no way would he be coming in to my house.

SuperLemonCrush Thu 27-Jun-13 21:30:38

Not at all, they keep telling little children to "listen to their uh-oh feeling", you do usually have a sense of when something is not right. Well done.

cees Thu 27-Jun-13 21:31:21

Yanbu, no way would he have gotten past me either, I'd have directed him to the nearest bush grin

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 27-Jun-13 21:32:57

You should always listen to your gut feeling. Wishing not to appear rude should not compromise your safety

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