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AIBU?

to get fed up with constant charity sponsorship requests?

101 replies

sergeantmajor · 25/06/2013 19:10

Everyone is doing bleedin' triathalons to raise money for worthy causes.
Possibly it's a mid life thing.
Possibly they are all more virtuous than me.
But to me it smacks of self indulgence, rather than altruism.
I don't have the time (or a minute to myself) to do this sort of thing.
And I don't have the money to keep sponsoring them.
And there is big social pressure to keep handing over the twenties.
And as soon as they've done the half marathon, next they're onto the mountain challenge or whatever.
I know this marks me out as evil, but I am starting to resent it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
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Bowlersarm · 25/06/2013 19:14

I kind of agree with you but it's difficult not to look like a right old meanie if you don't sponsor friends/colleagues/relatives.

I suppose one of my problems with it is that I have a limited amount of money to give to charity and I would rather support the causes I am passionate about, than sponsor the causes that someone else is keen on.

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Mrsmaymerryweather · 25/06/2013 19:37

I try to sponsor friends but I draw the line at close friends / close colleagues and I don't sponsor people who have not contacted me for 3 years then email me out the blue requesting sponsorship Grin It does get a bit silly!

I also give less if I don't feel strongly about the charity.

But what has really wound me up is I have just had two facebook friends who were asking for sponsorship because their kids (aged 2 and 6 months) are doing a sponsored walk and a sponsored swim! Now I can understand sponsoring someone to run a marathon or do something that requires some level of effort / commitment, but asking someone to sponsor your 6 month old for a sponsored swim is basically just asking them to give money to charity. Not that I have a problem with giving money to charity, I would love to be rich enough to give money to all charities, but at the end of the day I don't have enough money to give £20 to everyone who asks for sponsorship so I have had to draw the line and am not sponsoring children under 5!

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 20:07

I have 'rules' for this.

  1. I don't sponsor someone to do something twice. If you've run the marathon one year and I sponsor, then not again.


  1. I don't sponsor what is in essence a lovely holiday, ie climbing a mountain in Borneo or looking after elephants etc.


  1. I try not to sponsor the race for life as it excludes men, but have to make exceptions as I will sponsor friends (once!) to do this.


However I do sponsor friends to do things and I don't really mind which charity they choose, its obviously important to them and that's ok with me.
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HollyBerryBush · 25/06/2013 20:10

I refuse to sponsore anyone. It keeps it much more simple. They never run for charities I approve of or support

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 20:12

Oh Holly hope you're not planning to trek through the pyramids soon or something Wink

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Trifle · 25/06/2013 20:15

I never sponsor anyone, if you want to climb the 3 peaks or walk round the Isle of Wight then bloody do it.

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Hamwidgeandcheps · 25/06/2013 20:21

Yanbu. I am against under 5s doing it how can they grasp the concept of sponsorship? Bloody nursery hold sponsored dress up day and decking water babies sponsored fancy dress swim. With both I have given a small donation and batted the forms away. Just no!

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Justforlaughs · 25/06/2013 20:28

I do tend to sponsor most people who ask, but I have to admit that I don't feel inundated with requests. Neither would I dream of giving £20, maybe a £10 if I feel passionately about the charity, normally £5 is their lot! I'm also doing THe Race for Life this year, first time EVER! and it's the first sponsored event I've done in 7 years. Now I'm feeling worried about asking people to sponsor me. Genuinely, do you think they'll mind?

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 20:32

No people won't mind. Just don't ask every year!

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mameulah · 25/06/2013 20:34

I am so, so relieved to hear that it is not only me that thinks this.

I absolutely do not get the sponsorship thing, especially when you look at how much the Managing Director or boss type person of the charity gets paid. That Milliband bloke, (the brother of the bloke that leads the labour party) is off to run a charity in the U.S.A. He is getting paid a MINT for it. It really is a HEAP of money but say, for the sake of argument, it is $1000. That means that 1000 people would have to give that charity $1 each before the charity made a cent.

I also don't get that thing where someone organises for themselves to have an amazing experience and then somehow that correlates into a money donation.

And I think that if all these charities were stopped it would make the government so much more accountable and would mean that the MP's would not be so easily able to waste our money.

And I cannot stand that smug way that people who have 'one of my charities' speak about it. I think it is gross if people show off about it.

AND I think that at school it is so unfair for parents to be expected to support sponsorships. It is even more awful when the child who raised the most money gets a prize or certificate.

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GreenShadow · 25/06/2013 20:40

I hate asking for sponsorship.

I'm also doing Race for Life and to be honest, feel a bit of a fraud asking for money just to do 5K. It's hardly a marathon or that much of a challenge (although I am actually training fairly seriously for it).

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Hamwidgeandcheps · 25/06/2013 20:42

Mame - exactly. It feels like voluntary taxation like the lottery. I have ranted about this recently because it was help for heroes week. I thinks it's shocking the government rely on a charity to care for wounded service people and all the guilt inducing find raising legitimises it and let's the goveremt off the hook.

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MrsHuxtable · 25/06/2013 20:44

I generally don't sponsor people when what they are doing actually involves a fun activity for them. What's the fucking point.

However, a lovely 9 year old from my street just shaved off her long beautiful hair to raise money for cancer research. Her mum had bc a few years ago and it was all the child's idea. She had a proper big event going on and raised 4K. I'd support her any day.

Middle aged people bungy jumping? Nah.

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sudointellectual · 25/06/2013 20:49

YANBU.

I just say no now, and use it as a reminder to put some money in Give Directly.

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HollyBerryBush · 25/06/2013 20:50

Oh Holly hope you're not planning to trek through the pyramids soon or something

I'd pay for my own holiday, not con my friends and acquaintances into paying for it for me

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parakeet · 25/06/2013 20:52

And don't get me started on teenagers going off to Africa to work in an AIDS orphanage. What useful contribution will they be able to make, really?

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 20:54

Sometimes though, it can give people a bit of control or a way of coping with a difficult situation they have no control over, like the 9 yo cutting off her hair, or people raising money for a children's hospital their child went to. It helps people to feel less hopeless/helpless.

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 20:56

Holly it was a little wink, there. I did say about not sponsoring lovely holidays! It seems a bit mean to never sponsor tho. Do you really manage to stick to that?

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 20:58

mameulah what do you mean by 'one of my charities'?

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BIWI · 25/06/2013 20:59

My goodness. Words fail me.

Have you any concept of the work involved in running a charity, mameulah? And the charity that David Miliband is going to run works in 40 different countries around the world, responding to humanitarian crises. It isn't exactly a small job with little responsibility!

Nobody says you have to give to a charity activity. But lots of people - me included - do take part in charitable activities to raise money for the charity!

I'm doing a 5K race for World Child Cancer in October, along with some of the Woolly Hugs crew, a charity nominated by our own MrsDeVere, who lost her daughter to cancer when she was only 14.

I've been training for this since February. What do I get out of it? Fuck all! (Apart from injury, actually.) But I'm doing something and giving something to help someone else.

And you lot begrudge giving something to support someone else's efforts for a good cause?

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Lovesabadboy · 25/06/2013 21:01

My husband and daughters (16 and 12) are doing our local Midnight Walk for our local hospice and people have been very generous.

On one of their training walks - it is 10.5 miles, so they do need to train up a bit for it - they popped into the local pub for a drink (soft!) and some of the local regulars asked what they were training for and, even as strangers, put their hands in their pockets there and then to give them some money.
Their reasoning? That one day, they, themselves,might just need the local hospice and it is so poorly funded by the Government that it needs charity support to continue to exist.

Most local people will have been touched in some distant or not so distant way by Cancer and, because of this it is a very well-loved charity and the event is growing and growing every year.

Events like this I am more than happy to support, but I absolutely agree that these days there are far too many 'enjoyable' sponsored 'challenges'.

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BIWI · 25/06/2013 21:01

So yes, OP, YABVVU

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HollyBerryBush · 25/06/2013 21:04

Do you really manage to stick to that?

I only donate to the local hospice - I never sponsor, or the RNLI and Poppy Day - that is about my limit.

Sponsoring someone who jogs daily to do a 10K run - they are not doing anything worth sponsoring. Sorry, harsh but true. Race for Life - it seems to be someone every otherweekend doing that. My goodwill is all used up.

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OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 21:04

BIWI i've already said i sponsor friends, if the charity is important to them that's good enough for me. But like lovesabadboy i avoid the sponsored holiday type things.

Good luck with your run!

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Cravingdairy · 25/06/2013 21:09

You can say no or even better ignore if the request is by email, FB etc. Job done.

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