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...to hate the phrase "9 months on, 9 months off"?

(69 Posts)
SpooMoo Tue 25-Jun-13 17:48:34

My baby is 8mo and while I have lost some weight (all the pram pushing and breastfeeding) I am still overweight and nowhere near back in shape. But I don't have the time or energy to focus on that right now! I just feel like a failure that I'm nearing 9 months postpartum and that's when I "should" be back to normal, according to this phrase! AIBU?

badguider Wed 26-Jun-13 19:34:30

I think it seems realistic to me in terms of a timescale to allow your body to recover from birth and the most intensive period of breastfeeding and to regain fitness and muscle tone lost in pregnancy, but it depends how much you actually care about your fitness and how fit you were before. Also, your body will not be the same shape, but it can be as fit as it was.

Getting your muscletone/fitness back won't be easy to do if you are just feeling bad about your jeans size, but among people who genuinely enjoy sport and exercise and want to feel fit and strong again then most women I know through my running and cycling clubs have been back to pre-baby performance levels after about 9months.

Elquota Wed 26-Jun-13 19:24:19

> You cant have your cake and eat it

Oh no? What else is cake for grin

Chunderella Wed 26-Jun-13 19:22:57

Perhaps, but as I was in the same shape pre-baby as I am now, and yet wasn't tired then, I think it's fair to say the night wakings are to blame. I doubt there's any way for someone whose sleep is disturbed a lot to not be at least somewhat tired, even if they're at Olympic levels of fitness. Not that I number many Olympians amongst my acquaintance, although I did work with one a while ago.

LondonBus Wed 26-Jun-13 19:20:58

I dislike lots of phrases;

You cant have your cake and eat it.
You are what you eat
A problem shared is a problem halved
Waste not want not..................

peteypiranha Wed 26-Jun-13 19:14:46

I think if you are fit and do exercise it is much easier to cope with lots of night time wakings/work/babies etc.

Chunderella Wed 26-Jun-13 19:09:50

You don't think it might have a bit to do with having a baby that hasn't slept through in months petey? Because I have to say, I think that's the chief reason for it. I was also flabby and not especially fit before getting knocked up, but I wasn't tired then.

peteypiranha Wed 26-Jun-13 18:16:00

It probably is feeling flabby and unfit that makes people tired chunderella. If you feel fit you dont get as tired and have more energy.

Chunderella Wed 26-Jun-13 12:08:09

Lots of people do keep hold of a few pounds whilst ebf, OP, it's the body playing safe. In fact the big 2007 study on bf showed that ebf mums on average weighed a few pounds more than those who weren't at 6 months. So you are totally normal and probably your body is doing it for a reason. Mummypig's idea is a good one.

And I understand totally what you mean about lack of energy. All my baby weight just sort of evaporated by itself at about 4.5 months (so in defence of Imogen Thomas it's possible that happened to her). This was in December so I certainly wasn't eating fewer calories than I burned up! But I'm flabby and unfit because it's just so hard to muster up the time and energy simultaneously- especially when baby doesn't sleep through. I cannot believe anyone who has had a baby themself doesn't get this.

melliebobs Wed 26-Jun-13 11:56:04

I have never heard that phrase in my life. It's bollocks

lborolass Wed 26-Jun-13 11:52:29

Another one who hasn't heard that phrase and in fact before I opened the thread I thought it was going to be about maternity leave grin

Don't believe anyone who says they lost weight "running around after a toddler", that phrase really makes my teeth itch - what nonsense, to lose a significant amount of weight you need to use up a lot more calories than you consume (other medical issues aside). I have never met a toddler who can run so fast that an able bodied adult needs to much more than a brisk walk to keep up.

Celebs - just admit you've had surgery or spend all day with a personal trainer and chef please

Toomuchtea Wed 26-Jun-13 11:43:49

If it makes you feel any better my eldest is 21 and I'm still nowhere near in sight of my pre-pregnancy weight.

TroublesomeEx Wed 26-Jun-13 10:36:45

I also think that if someone is looking at slebs as providing a blueprint for their own life then they've got bigger problems than a few extra pounds anyway!

themiss Wed 26-Jun-13 01:03:40

I lost most of my extra weight after my DD started walking (or in her case, running)

WorraLiberty Wed 26-Jun-13 00:57:13

Your body changing isn't a bad thing MummyPig but to be fair, weight gain and body shape change aren't necessarily the same thing.

Not that weight gain is necessarily a bad thing either...but it's probably best to look into losing it, before it becomes a bigger problem (if in fact it does). Especially if that mother wants to TTC another baby.

ThisIsMummyPig Wed 26-Jun-13 00:35:42

I never lost more than a couple of pounds until after I stopped breastfeeding. I would start your nine months from the date of your last breastfeed.

Or learn to accept that your body changed when you became a mother, and that's not a bad thing.

MrsMook Wed 26-Jun-13 00:28:49

It was about right for me after DS1. I went from 9st 2 to 13st via 8st 7. I had 1/2 st of "me" weight to lose after the easy stuff went in the first weeks. I went to Buggy Babes which got my basic fitness back (I ended up totally sedentary with PGP for the last few months), then at 5mths I started at circuits to boost my fitness level. I found weaning good for my diet as baby shared the same food and it was easier to do one healthy meal for all than something lazy for us and an alternative for him. His food allergies did me a favour- he made it hard to eat cake when out as he'd want to share.

By the time DS2 was concieved I was a little lighter than I'd been for a few years and fitter. I had worked at it. It required being mindful, but wasn't too much of a battle.

With a 10 wk old it's helping my patience. I'm making a start at building my fitness back up but it is harder this time. My PGP hasn't gone completely so pushing two in a pram is quite wearing. I'm heading out for a short but brisk walk when DH gets in. When I can go for a decent walk and get up a hill with the DSs it should get a bit easier for me. At the moment, it seems to take longer to get them ready to leave the house than I can manage walking!

It's not going to work for everyone, but it is useful to remember that the body is going to take time to adjust. Unfortunatly some people need more time and work than others.

It's more useful than "pregnancy is not an illness" Really? It can do a very convincing impression of it.

WorraLiberty Wed 26-Jun-13 00:11:03

I think what people tend to forget with celebrities, is that they're normally quite slender and toned to begin with.

IME if you're slim with strong stomach muscles at the start of a normal, healthy pregnancy, you're less likely to put on much more than the weight of the baby anyway...providing you keep to a faily healthy diet.

So whilst they may appear to be exercising and dieting before the placenta's been delivered, the chances are they're probably not.

I've never heard the phrase before. I lost the baby weight within 2 wks with DS1 and 4 days with DS2 (I didn't put a huge amount on for some reason) but it was being pinned to the sofa with feeding babies and lack of sleep that made me put on weight which I am still not shifting nearly 10 yrs down the line. That said I don't sleep very well even now - having2 children seems to have made me an insomniac - and I am almost certain it is the reason I still have to lose weight and the one of the main reasons many women don't lose it after their babies are born.

MamaChubbyLegs Tue 25-Jun-13 23:57:10

That will serve me right for being epicly smug grin

MamaChubbyLegs Tue 25-Jun-13 23:55:29

9 months on, 3 days off, 3 months back on for me envy

foreverondiet Tue 25-Jun-13 23:43:12

I think it's just to reinforce idea that not normal to be back in skinny jeans after 3 weeks like celebrities and 9 months is reasonable length of time to lose weight particularly if one is focused on it...

MiconiumHappens Tue 25-Jun-13 21:27:28

YANBU! Also it's often said in a supportive way as on don't worry you have 9 months smile WHAT?! Now I have a deadline, jee thanks.

TroublesomeEx Tue 25-Jun-13 21:23:39

I've never heard that expression either.

With my first I was 8st 3 before I became pregnant, 8st 3 at my 6 week check and 8st 3 the day I left hospital with my 5 day old son.

With my second I was 9st 3 when I became pregnant and 8st 9 when I was discharged with my 2 week old daughter.

I exclusively BF too. It made no difference to my weight in either direction.

It's absolute nonsense.

Just look after your baby and yourself and don't worry about what you 'should' have done weight wise. smile

maddening Tue 25-Jun-13 21:10:50

Heysoulsister - for some it takes more focus than others - my pcos make weight loss for me a greater battle than for another person.

For you it's easy - great - for others not so - no need to be so derisory of other's experiences.

Elquota Tue 25-Jun-13 20:22:54

YANBU. It's your body and you get to decide what's a reasonable amount of time to spend on exercise and so on. Just ignore anyone who makes judgy comments - I'm sure there are things they find difficult to stick to (such as being nice to others wink)

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