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To wonder why and one even cares if people mistake their dcs gender?

(70 Posts)
HerrenaHarridan Tue 25-Jun-13 08:58:48

What's the big deal?

Enlighten me because just don't get it.

Some people take huge pains to make it as obvious as possible their dc is a boy/ girl and get massively offended if people get it wrong. Recently one mother I know has had her dds ears pierced because she has such short hair everyone assumes she's a boy, another had chopped off her boys beautiful blonde curls because people assume he is a girl.

I just don't see the problem what difference does it make?

it's a baby, it's androgynous, it's supposed to be androgynous.

So please, enlighten me.
Do you care?
Why do you care?

frissonpink Wed 26-Jun-13 16:54:30

People always think DD is a boy because she has no hair yet bless her!

I am tempted at times to put a headband thing on her (a stretchy one, before anyone tells me off!) just to reinforce, she's a girl but honestly, it doesn't really bother me that much!

It is funny when she's got a dress on though and people say, what a smiley young boy you've got there hmm grin

hedgehogpickle Wed 26-Jun-13 16:49:56

Although I love some of the pretty girly clothes for DD, I much prefer a lot of the boys t-shirts & things. They get all the Sesame St, dinosaurs, lions/tigers etc and the girls........ Hello bloody Kitty sad I know which ones I'll be buying! And she can choose whichever she wants when she's old enough.

Her being mistaken for a boy occasionally doesn't annoy me in the slightest, though it does amuse me when she's in a dress smile

cantspel Wed 26-Jun-13 16:28:14

Back in the 70's when all children were dressed in brown cord regardless of sex i was always mistaken for a boy as i had a short hair cut.

I hated it so you as a parent might not care but the child could.

TotesAmazeGoats Wed 26-Jun-13 16:25:23

It annoys me greatly that anytime DD isn't in pink, people assume she's a boy. She's wearing a red skirt FFS. I couldn't care less that they think she's male, it's the automatic assumption that dressed in any other colour, she must be a boy. I hate pink.

MabliD Wed 26-Jun-13 16:17:27

DD gets mistaken for a boy quite a bit, normally by the older generation. It doesn't bother me remotely but I am confused as to how they manage it as it's usually when she's wearing a dress and sitting in a pink buggy. One the days we are out in jeans and a t shirt and in the red buggy noone ever gets it wrong.

One very lovely old gent went on about what a bonny lad I had... even after he'd asked 'his' name. DD is called Elsie. hmm

wamabama Wed 26-Jun-13 15:11:01

DS ALWAYS gets mistaken for a girl, that's why I have an irk with it because it isn't an occasional thing, it's every time we go out somewhere and it's tiresome correcting everyone.

I have 2 DD's as well who have hair in bunches, dresses and tights on etc so I dress them like 'obvious' girls. So you'd think they'd see the difference between them and DS who I think is in obvious 'boy clothes'... But no. He has long wavy hair and a pretty face but still, his clothes make it obvious! And anyway, he got mistaken for a girl all the time as a baby when he had no hair. All I can think to do is get him a shirt or a hat that says BOY on it grin. I can't bring myself to cut his lovely hair.

CissyMeldrum Wed 26-Jun-13 12:46:12

All of my boys got called she ,but I did grow their hair until the were about 3, really didn't worry me.

DD2 is two and a half and people generally assume she's a boy, except on the odd occasion when she happens to be wearing a dress. I don't normally correct people, although my older two DC will do so quite indignantly if they happen to be with me.

itsonlyapapermoon Wed 26-Jun-13 10:13:40

My younger sister had hardly any hair until she was 4-she used to get upset when people mistook her for a boy, so my mum and the next door neighbour pinned her down on the kitchen floor and pierced her ears shock...didn't realise how harsh that was until I had my own kids now I'm a bit hmm. Nice one mum.

CHJR Wed 26-Jun-13 09:53:33

When DS was little his hair was short but people assumed he was a girl because he had curls. We didn't care but the curls thing surprised us, surely no one deliberately perms a child's hair? (though I don't care if you do!)

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Wed 26-Jun-13 01:16:26

Happens lots, only bothered me once:

Senior midwife on the maternity ward insisted Ds was a girl and aggressively told me I was wrong... And did it again later that shift with the same forceful aggression. I was so scared of her I called my son 'she' to stop midwives tirade of vitriol.

I think I was allowed to be upset at that!

MrsMook Wed 26-Jun-13 01:08:53

DS1 has lushious eyelashes and collar length blonde hair and occasionally gets mistaken for a girl. On the last occasion he was wearing a blue hat with white stars, white vest, navy dungarees and brown shoes, so more masculine than neutral. The time before when I was asked, he'd walked his pushchair with (blue) doll down to the shops.

We had a "Johnny" type incident when he was 4m. Old lady comes up, "oh what a pretty baby, what's her name" reply with his traditional saints/ new testement name. I then get a strange look, firstly for bestowing a boys name on a girl which then changed to doubt.

These things amuse me.

Two mummy friends met at swimming (they were aquaintences). Mummy 1 forgot what sex mummy 2's baby was. She concluded that as baby was only wearing a swim nappy, that baby was most likely to be male. Bad guess. Mummy 2 was not impressed.

Startail Wed 26-Jun-13 00:24:47

I used to giggle when people thought DSIS and my, female, best friend were brothers.

We all had boyish, '70's short hair, it just happened my BF and DSIS were both broad shouldered blondes (and I'm not).

HerrenaHarridan Tue 25-Jun-13 23:57:00

Because had he been a girl his grandparents would have descended in a wave of pink before you could leave the hospital. ( this happened to me )

Bringmewineandcake Tue 25-Jun-13 21:41:08

Dd was carried out of hospital in her car seat wearing a white sleep suit, white hat, covered in a white blanket with a brown teddy comforter (we hadn't known the gender until the birth). An elderly couple passed us and the lady said "what a sweet looking little boy"...why would you make an assumption in those circumstances? Wasn't actually bothered, just thought it was odd.

GreenShadow Tue 25-Jun-13 20:46:28

I always loved it when people thought DS1 was a girl.
Maybe I sub-consciencously wanted a girl or more likely because they thought he was pretty.

HerrenaHarridan Tue 25-Jun-13 20:26:40

Brilliant, she still thinks my little girl is called Johnny!

coronalover Tue 25-Jun-13 20:07:31

I don't take pains to over emphasise DSs 'boyness' but like Octopus I did cut his hair when some other kids in the park thought he was a girl. I'm not bothered if adults get it wrong with DS or DD though

ILoveNoodles Tue 25-Jun-13 19:16:39

aldiwhore I usually ask " whats your name gorgeous?" sort of to the baby obviously the mum will answer either "Tom/Rebecca" at which point you can then say"Aah he/she is lovely.

If its a unisex name Alex for example I then say Day"Aah what a beautiful name how old is Alex?", the mum/dad/whoever will generally then say "he/she is....."

A bit of a faff but better than upsetting someone, and this.method hasn't failed me yet!!!!!

WestieMamma Tue 25-Jun-13 18:13:21

Do people care? My son is only 10 weeks old and half his clothes come from the girls section as the boys stuff is so boring. My favourite outfit for him is a bright pink babygrow with a big ginger kitten on the front.

HollyBerryBush Tue 25-Jun-13 17:27:53

it's a baby, it's androgynous, it's supposed to be androgynous

If it were ment to be androgenous a penis or a vagina would arrive at puberty. A baby has gender. Whether you choose to go up the pink, blue or mint green route is entirely parental choice. A pretty boy is always accepted, however the same cannot be said for girls who do not conform to society accepted standards of beauty.

WhiteShakette Tue 25-Jun-13 16:49:06

I was just thinking about this today, because my 15 month old son has been mistaken for a girl a few times in the last few days, for the first time in his life. DH pointed out that the person speaking in all cases has been a man of 65 + (we are on holiday somewhere with a lot of older day trippers), who, if the mistake emerged in subsequent conversation, was terribly, terribly embarrassed, as if he had made some terrible faux pas, though it doesn't bother us one jot, and we weren't 'correcting' him.

I think it must have something to do with older men's ideas about masculinity and the way parents present a child...? My son just had a haircut, but has a blonde mop that flicks up at the back, and as his father and I loathe navy and sludge-coloured clothes with lorries, superheroes or dinosaurs for a child of his age, he wears a lot of bright red, yellow, green, orange, blue garments, with Crocs and jeans or shorts. Presumably the brightness and the fact his hair isn't cut like a Marine says 'not a boy' to a certain kind of older man...?

I don't understand why the mistake upsets some parents badly, though.

Orangebirdonatable Tue 25-Jun-13 15:45:35

What s wrong with me? I will try again!

That I would be so brave / weird to dress my son as a girly girl.

Orangebirdonatable Tue 25-Jun-13 15:43:39

Brave

Orangebirdonatable Tue 25-Jun-13 15:43:27

I live in a place that for cultural reaons, girls get their ears pierced when they are born. Dd does not. I am constantly asked if she is a boy. Even when she is wearing a pink dress.
It makes me laugh that people think i would be so bave / weird to dress my son as girl grin

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