to ask what you would say to people...(130 Posts)
If you could tell them exactly what you thought with no repercussions. Just speak your mind for a few minutes.
I have PMS btw and am in a bad mood. Yes this is pathetic I know. But better I say it here than in RL I guess.
PILS, I hate the way you treat my dds like second best to DSD because she is your 'real' GD. I hate the way you phone her on her birthday and not my dds, who notice and feel hurt. I hate the way you give her special presents and cards. This is one of the reasons you do not come on holiday with us in the summertime even though you invite yourself every year and we make excuses. That, and the fact that FIL is an alcoholic weirdo. PS FIL, your beard makes me ill and I hate when you kiss me and hug me when we haven't seen each other for a while.
Cousin who I see regularly - I think leaving your young baby dd to 'bawl for half an hour so she learns to self soothe' is cruel and horrible and much worse than giving my dcs sweets sometimes that you judge me for doing.
DH - you need to floss your teeth.
World - I will BF my DS for as long as we both want to so please stop asking.
That is all. If anyone else wants to join me in saying what they would like to say to people in their lives but can't please feel free.
I'm impressed, I don't have that ability,
I usually just say what I think, or how will they know?
Colleague at work - you are so impossibly horrible to work with that everyone avoids you and gossips about you behind your back. Why can't you just be nice to people and not talk to them like shit on your shoe? I know you're after promotion but it's not going to happen if you have zero people skills and even speak to your boss like crap. Sort yourself out for your own sake.
Mil- I know you may think you're helping but your comments about child-rearing are not helpful and things have moved on since you were doing it.
World - stop asking me when I'm going to have another child. It is not cruel for a child to be an only child, and I will have another if/when I can/want to, so fuck off!!
Wow, thanks weekend, that feels a bit better! I think you should say your last rant about bf your ds in RL, cheeky fuckers!
I wish I could say these things in RL, well actually I do say the last one to people but I say it too nicely and apologetically and not confidently enough. And I have told my DH, he took it well.
But the other things would cause fall outs, and upset other people that I do care about besides them, sadly.
Dickheads on noisy motorbikes - piss off and ride your hair dryers somewhere else!
MIL. Everytime you kiss us all on the cheek or car window (yes it's true) the greasy thick lipstick stain really grinds my gears.
DH - your football trainers are literally disgusting. They live in the garage from now on.
I feel very lucky that the only things I could gripe about righ now are noisy bikes, lipstick and trainers!!
New 'D' H. I am pissed off beyond all belief that you have quit your job with no new job to go to. And worried. We have a mortgage ffs and if you quitting your job impacts on my financial ability to take care of my very elderly horse (who, let face it has been around longer than anyone other than my parents/siblings) i don't think i could come back from that. So stop fucking griping that i'm miserable because there is only one reason for it!
Work - please give me my work rota more than one week in advance, I have a life you know and I need to plan things.
DD - you do not have to fill every second of every day with talk
Dfriend - please stop talking badly about other friend. It's childish and mean and makes me not want to spend any time with you
Feel better for that now. Those three things have been on my mind all day!
Friend A: no the world doesn't revolve around you, and weird as it may seem to your ego, not everything people say and do is aimed at you. And I am entitled to be fucked off at the shitty way my ex treats our children, just because he does more than your ex doesn't mean I cant be annoyed and upset. Likewise the fact that he pays no fucking maintenance, even though him and his gf buy new things every week. If is funding that all with her dd dla and carers allowance, then I'm sorry but its wrong. Not saying she should pay his maintenance from it,but buying him a motorbike, new car, paying for private baby scans isn't what that moneys for surely?
Friend B: I know your hurting because your teenage dds have chosen to live week on week off with you, but probably not as much as your now exdh must have hurt when you slept with another man. Or as much as that other man's wife was hurt by the woman she thought was a friend. However, he is being a shit re money and they house.
Friend A (again) like me, friend B is entitled moan.about the shitty finances our exs try and fob us off with. You don't understand as you knew your.ex was a feckless idiot who wouldn't pay, but still chose to have 4 dc with him. Yes B can be annoying, but can't we all?
Ex: I fucking hate you. you ruined my life, but ill forgive that. What I won't forgive is how you've treated our children.
Exs gf: grow the fuck up. According to you, your dcs dad left, and doesn't look after them like he should. So you know how that feels as a mother, yet allow and encourage my dcs dad to do the same. And dont judge me, I might not be perfct, but your the one who moved a bloke in within a couple of weeks, and for engaged and pg within 6 weeks. then kicked him out when your benefits were reduced. All this seemingly without looking at how if affects your dc. Especially as one of them is autistic and apparently doesn't cope well with change. Oh yea, and your son is rude.
World: no I'm not happy being single, deep down I want someone to share my life with and more dc. But the dc I already have come first, so if I'm single for even then so be it. And yes I'm a shit mum who's had ss involved. My house is a tip and I've got masses of debt, but I'm trying, I really am.
Sorry! That became a bit long
Feels good though!
Mouthful, I am also feeling lucky that I only have trivial things to moan about.
Notta and Yoni, what truly awful situations to have to deal with I hope things improve for you soon.
As a pretty open person, strangely I wouldn't say much.
To those who are positive influences: Chin chin Anything I can do? Thanks for putting up with me.
To those who are negative influences: ... ... ... ... ...
FIL: I do like you. Really. But I swear that there are only so many more repetitions of your stories about when you worked for the service that I can take. The fact that you make random statements as though I am supposed to understand the context without any explanation from you is incredibly irritating.
Dad: Stop moaning and leaving passive aggressive posts about people not visiting (when this is what you asked for) on Facebook. You asked the hospital to cut you open, saw through your bones, insert new parts and staple you back together. Of course it just might hurt a smidge.
Cat ... I love you dearly, but sitting in the litter box and hanging your arse over the side when you shit is driving me crackers.
MIL - I am my childrens Mum not you, having you play an active role in their life does not mean i am happy to abdicate all my parental rights to you.
BIL2 - You are a selfish tit whose super chav missus makes my teeth hurt
DP - Perhaps I wouldn't get angry if you would help me with things I actually needed sometimes i.e. when I hoover/polish/bleach/feed the kids/do the washing/get the food shopping done/change the beds/hold down a FT job perhaps you sorting out the pot where the keys go isn't a job worthy of a parade?
feels good, thanks!
OH-grow up already.Running around after you and having to constantly remind you of things and in turn end up nagging at you is not really my cup of tea.I'm not your mother or your PA and behaving like a teenager is not an attractive or endearing quality in a partner.ypu can do things yourself and remember things you are just too lazy to do it.YOU ARE NOT PETER PAN.
Parents-when i actually see you i dont want to listen to moaning about anything you can think of. This is why i dont see you much.Its depressing.
Rest of family-stop talking to me about more children.It's none of your business and I don't have to explain myself to you.I'm not a baby machine.My c hild is NOT lonely and he gets constant attention from us so whats bad about that.Grr.
Mother - Was it really so difficult for you to just once let me have the attention on my birthday. You know full well either myself or my brother would have dropped you off at home on our way home but no, you had to make a song and dance about getting the bus so that everyone would be trying to talk you out of it and you were the centre of attention. And then when I wouldn't play ball and I, after years and years of things like this, said that you always do this to get attention, you stormed out of the restaurant. You have now been sulking for nearly 2 years. Unfortunately for you, you didn't realise how fed up I was about how you constantly behave like this and am not in any hurry to make friends with you this time.
Mother - Would it really have killed you to show me some compassion after having a very traumatic miscarriage after thinking I was going to bleed to death and ended up in A&E and theatre and needing a blood transfusion? Instead of going on and on about one you had 40 years ago and how awful it was for you because after all there's nothing better than holding your newborn baby in your arms and counting it's fingers and toes. And then sulking when I asked you to stop talking about newborn babies as it was upsetting for me.
Father - Do you know how much damage you've done to me with your constant criticism as a child. Do you think my life is easy with very little self confidence. Maybe if you'd valued me as a child I wouldn't have ended up married to someone like you who cheated on me and thought it didn't matter how much he hurt me. Or how your constant sulking if we did something wrong as children as turned me into a people pleasure so I have been taken advantage of by fair weather friends.
But you know what M&D you're shown me how not to parent like you too, and I now have a very loving relationship with my 2 lovely sons who are confident, loving, funny and who love me too. So there!
Exh - not much to say really as I told you exactly what I thought of you when I found out about your cheating!
Oh that felt good. Thanks OP for starting this thread.
'D'M, 'D'F, 'D'Sis, 'D'SM: Do fuck off. And don't come back. Ta!
DFIL: I have no idea what you're talking about 99.9% of the time.
DMIL: I wish I could have known you better before you got ill. I think we would have got along very well. It makes me sad that you no longer know who any of us are.
DM: You showed me no love when I was a child, you were 'too busy' to visit me when I was seriously ill in hospital but I have, for the past 10 years, cared for you. I resent this.
Boss: Saying the same thing over and over but increasingly louder does not make you right!
Mil - STOP having toddler tantrums about how we don't see you enough...is it any wonder when all you do is criticise, tut, and express your constant disappointment. Yes you succeed in making me feel guilty and shit, but it will not entice me to see you more.
Friend - please stop mollycoddling your Dcs, they need to start being independent, and are quite capable when not with you - they need encouraging, not to be trapped under your wing. Makes me sad, they need to shine
Other friend - stop bring paranoid, enjoy what you have. I know you like to offload onto me, but I don't need my ear chewing off day in, day out.<sigh>
Thankyou. That feels good!
Neighbours- Although you think that you are in a special 'cool' club, you're not. I don't give a shit if you have Kath Kidston curtains in every room, bake your bread from scratch and dress your kids from head to toe in Joules and JoJo Maman Bebe.
Your Children hang out of their window naked at 9pm and everyone can see them. One day one of them is going to fall out and seriously injure themselves. Maybe you should spend more time looking after them and making sure they're in bed and less time knitting bunting.
I know you sort your recycling out so that the posh bottles of wine are at the top and you put posh carrier bags out for the bin men. You are Fucking pathetic, grow up.
I know you are jealous that we have parking spaces and you don't and you live in a terrace and we don't- get over it. We worked our asses off for our house and didn't raise the money drinking Moet and shopping in Mint Velvet.
NB- I don't hold grudges against you for doing what you like and spending your own money, how you like but don't act like you've reached a higher level of social standing because of it- You sad, sad, stuck up twats!
MIL, you have treated your son like shit. You have an affair, let your son watch his dad die, then 3 days later tell him about your affair. You have a nice cosy little life with new DH and couldn't give a shit about how we are or our struggles, but then SFIL leaves you (because you are not remotely supportive of his illness I suspect and that it means you can't go on all these foreign holidays anymore) and you want DH to constantly come running and even if he doesn't put a kiss on the end of a text you put the guilt on saying that you think he doesn't care etc etc. GET A FUCKING GRIP WOMAN. You are annoying your own children, you are selfish and want everything your way, well guess what, we have our own lives that you weren't too bothered about before so now that you are needy, we aren't going to change that. How about you stop relying on everyone else how to deal with everything and learn to be independent. Its not hard.
Friend who was once considered best. You are annoying the fuck out of me with your middle class wannabe attitudes. You have been rude to my friends (and I am saying mine now as they aren't that bothered about you anymore). You don't invite anyone from this group to anything yet you throw a hissy fit if you aren't invited to something (also check you texts before you have a go at me about something you think you aren't invited to, because you were, and you also owe me an apology for that). And that comment about how my DS would have shown an ability for swimming by now? well fuck you! You just can't stick it that your children can't swim and mine can even though they started their lessons all at the same time. It isn't the teachers, it is your children. Maybe they are not the best at everything they do? Also it does appear that you favour your DD over your DS. Why is she oversensitive and tired
actually I call it whiny but your DS needs to 'man up'. Can you explain the difference there to me?
Wow that really helped!
Dad, ye reap what ye sow. You have a wonderful little grandson and your behaviour means you'll probably never see him. You did fuck all as a father and now history repeats itself. Well done you. I'm glad we're not talking.
Mum, please stop behaving so badly to grandma. She is your mother and deserves respect, or if you can't muster that, then at least your kindness.
Dear exh, you destroyed me. what you did to me I'll never forget. But like a phoenix rising from the ashes, you made me stronger, so in a screwed up way I should be grateful. I learned a lot from you.
Sil - can you please stop telling me about every second of your day at work whenever I see you, I get that you love your job, but I don't work there and I'm really not interested.
Please look into getting your bad breath sorted out, it really is revolting, I don't know how your dh can bare to kiss you - which brings me to my next subject, please ease up on the pda's; you're in love, we get it, we don't need to see it.
When you want to give your parents a present that is concert tickets for them and you and your dh, do not wait for us to be there, and involve my dc in a treasure hunt to find said tickets; it is mean to get young children so excited and then have nothing for them at the end.
And finally, please stop making it so obvious that you prefer MY ds to MY dd, they are both adorable, your sick inducing fb status's about how amazing ds is, with no mention of dd is really not on; and please stop arranging treats for ds and none for dd, she does notice and so do I. If you can't treat them both, don't treat either of them!
Ah, that feels better!!
SIL don't tell me lies...I'm not as stupid as I look.
PILs again I can tell when your telling lies to as your stories never quite add up with SILs
Dad - I'm nearly 42 years old: please stop trying to make my decisions for me, or having a tantrum when I make decisions about my life that you don't agree with. And stop giving me advice if I haven't asked for it!
Also, please stop being so negative all the time - you only ever see the problems, not the opportunities. It's all really wearing, and it drives me away.
WorkingtoohardMama "When you want to give your parents a present that is concert tickets for them and you and your dh, do not wait for us to be there, and involve my dc in a treasure hunt to find said tickets; it is mean to get young children so excited and then have nothing for them at the end."
Ooo, that's horrible - some people are so thoughtless!
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