to feel vaguely annoyed about the teacher's present collection?

(178 Posts)
prettybutclumpy Mon 24-Jun-13 16:33:48

I have been collecting donations for my DC's teacher at school with another really lovely mum. She suggested that all the children should sign the card rather than just the kids whose parents had donated to the present. I think about half the class parents have donated, the others may be doing their own thing or not think teacher's presents are necessary. I don't have any issues with either of these positions. However....AIBU to be vaguely annoyed that the teacher, if she does her sums, might think the average donation wasn't much when most donating parents have given a fiver, and some even a tenner?

Babouche Thu 18-Jul-13 14:54:51

YABU.
Not read all of this this so sorry if repeating but if you read the teachers present threads on here they all say the best thing is a card,even better with a personal message, so that should be from everyone.
A present is a bonus.No-one expects one.Most people recommend getting something for about £5 anyway.
Why do you care if the teacher "knows" who spent £10 and not £5.It is just a token of thanks.

catkinjane Thu 18-Jul-13 14:44:30

My DD has just been excluded for a newsletter containing photos and messages 'from' the children along with one other child in the class, because I didn't want to contribute to the collection.

wherearemysocka Thu 27-Jun-13 18:10:38

To be honest, although I love the cards and keep every one of them, just the words 'thank you' would suffice.

harryhausen Thu 27-Jun-13 17:51:50

Very very good point ragwort. My dsis runs several Brownie and Guides units through an international school (a fair few wealthy parent expats). She never gets a thank you and she even had to chase up the very nominal 'subs' for each term.

You've reminded me to get something small for our own Brownie leader.

Oh! And class rep got flowers.

DH runs our local scouts group and no thanks or anything for that matter on the last day before the summer break.

We've just done my youngest ones teacher and TA. Teacher got a voucher for a weekend at a Spa in a 5* hotel and Spa products to use at home and the TA got a voucher so she can have some treatments at the spa and products.

Biscuitsareme Wed 26-Jun-13 13:52:21

great post Ragwort, I'll keep this in mind wrt DC's Cub leaders.

Sirzy Wed 26-Jun-13 13:07:34

Good post ragwort.

as a youth volunteer sometimes it is just someone bothering to say thank you, or the email/card after an event saying how much fun their child had which makes it all worthwhile,

Ragwort Wed 26-Jun-13 12:57:43

Can I remind mumsneters (as I do every year when this subject comes around grin) that the people who really do deserve your thanks and appreciation are the volunteers who help your children - the Brownie Leader, the Football coach etc. These are people (often parents) who give up loads of time and energy to do things for your children and yes, it grates on my nerve when people gush on about giving end of term presents to teachers but all the volunteers are forgotton about - last year when we gave our DS's coach a small gift (wine grin) his eyes filled with tears as he had never had a thank you gift before sad.

exoticfruits Wed 26-Jun-13 07:55:46

It is something that they were asked! Mine never gave presents in secondary.

It is very much mad exotic. But, yes the children were asked and they suggested the iPad as they knew she didn't have one as she mentioned it in a conversation when one of the girls was telling the class what she had for her birthday and the other of kids were telling her what apps to get on it and they asked the reached what apps she used and she said she didn't have an iPad yet but was hoping to get one soon.

We are one of the poorer families as DH is a teacher in the secondary part of the school. He doesn't get gifts like that as there is the same culture in the upper school.

katydid02 Wed 26-Jun-13 07:32:43

exoticfruits - yes, exactly. I did not want to go into work that day (horrible headache and feeling sick) and was not full of the joys of spring at the prospect but I went in and her thoughtfulness changed it from a mediocre morning into a lovely one.

exoticfruits Wed 26-Jun-13 07:13:34

Does the class rep even bother to ask the children what they want to get? I very much doubt it.

iwantabigbangshowercurtain Wed 26-Jun-13 07:07:03

I have never given teacher gifts nor given to a collection. If my children wanted to do something they did - but not often.

I always give a card saying thank you for their hard work, or a more personal note if they have been exceptional - sometimes I send a letter to the head reminding her how lucky she is to have such fantastic staff grin

As a childminder I get lots of presents - wine and flowers mainly. However, the best ones are the totally random stuff that the children buy (or choose) themselves. One year I got a large bag of Walkers Thai Chilli Crisps because the little girl knew they were my favourite bless her and this year I got a silver BMW (model sized unfortunately) from a nearly 3 year old who thinks having a new car (however small) is the best thing since sliced bread grin

exoticfruits Wed 26-Jun-13 07:02:49

Exactly Katydid- it is the sort of thing that makes the job worthwhile!

exoticfruits Wed 26-Jun-13 07:01:34

That is mad Ranty! As a teacher I really wouldn't want that. I managed by spending less than £5. It really is the homemade cards with personal messages that are appreciated. The children love giving something personal and that is completely lost with the class rep thing.
It is like the dreadful whole class party where the child puts their present in a black sack and doesn't see it opened and then gets some computerised letter that is supposed to come from the child.
Much better for the DC to choose and see it opened.
I hate the idea where you throw money at things and leave out the personal.

katydid02 Wed 26-Jun-13 06:55:22

I got a gift from a child the other day, she found a poppy growing on the school field and picked it for me - they are my favourite flower. It sat in a glass of water on my desk and made me smile whenever I looked at it smile
That means much more than a bottle of wine/box of chocolates/anything else because the child has seen it, thought of me and came back in from play specifically to give it to me.

LOL! You would love it where we live. We're expats and the DC go to an international school and I have three in the school. Each class has a class rep and the school asks if the class rep can use the email address they have.

The class reps emailed us a few weeks ago to organise the collections for teachers and TA's and the suggested amount was the equivalent of £25 per child. So that's £75. Then two of the classes got together to get a gift for the class reps as they have been brilliant this year (and I must say they have been and have worked so hard. ) So that's £15 for each of those. So we're up to £105 now and then there was a family who are moving to another country so we clubbed together for a present for the child and that was another £10. So £115 in gifts this year.

We've just presented the year two teacher, TA, class rep and leaver their gifts. An iPad, spa voucher and class picture in a personalised frame to the teacher. A necklace, earrings and bracelet set from a high end jeweller ( think Tiffanys equivellant ) and class picture in a personalised frame to the TA. A necklace from Swarvoski for the class rep. A Lego collection and clad picture in a personalised frame for the child leaving.

I'm guessing some families gave more than suggested and some less and some not at all. All children signed the cards and some also presented cards they had made.

Tomorrow we have my youngest's class and Sunday my eldest's . Oh! Joy!

She doesn't mind tat either - whenever I go away I always know I can rely on her to help me out with travel-size toiletries! grin

My mum is a teacher who usually gets a voucher from the class. Obviously it's appreciated, but this notion that she will spend it on 'something for herself to remember the class' is bollocks. She usually forgets she has it for 6 months then the next time she's buying her undies or a food shop in M&S she remembers she's got a giftcard in her purse so might as well use that! Sometimes she gets a beautiful bouquet instead but ends up having to give it away because she's off on holiday. So despite being grand gestures, they're not necessarily revered in the same way. But she is, of course, grateful... and always eats homemade things (unless they look deeply suspect).

The cards, drawings and letters however get pride of place for weeks and aren't ever forgotten.

exoticfruits Wed 26-Jun-13 06:26:35

Presents for teachers has been going at least 30years- for those who want to- it is voluntary and you don't have to get anything!

WafflyVersatile Wed 26-Jun-13 01:38:02

What its a wordle?

When did presents for teachers start?

IsThisAGoodIdea Tue 25-Jun-13 23:11:24

I'd rather have nothing than a load of pound shop scented candles bought begrudgingly by harassed mothers...

virgil Tue 25-Jun-13 23:08:12

We have the class collection thing and name on sticker in card thing. I haven't been asked to contribute for the past two years having upset the queen bee somehow (still not sure how but think it was just the very polite "thanks but DS has already made Miss x some cinnamon and vanilla body scrub"). DS didn't realise the first time but was upset last year when his was the only name not in the card.

School presents get way out of hand. When DS1 was in reception one of the mums bought the teacher a new dress for a Christmas gift!

dayshiftdoris Tue 25-Jun-13 22:55:10

Well you lot have decided me...

My little darling is doing a wordle for his teacher... she is the most magnificent teacher he's every had so she deserves something a bit... well different!

And believe me... my son saying how he feels it definitely will be different grin

My dad got 'Pie' on his wordle for Father's Day grin

(And I will get her wine because she bloody needs it after this past year and will write her a Thank You card)

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