to feel vaguely annoyed about the teacher's present collection?

(178 Posts)
prettybutclumpy Mon 24-Jun-13 16:33:48

I have been collecting donations for my DC's teacher at school with another really lovely mum. She suggested that all the children should sign the card rather than just the kids whose parents had donated to the present. I think about half the class parents have donated, the others may be doing their own thing or not think teacher's presents are necessary. I don't have any issues with either of these positions. However....AIBU to be vaguely annoyed that the teacher, if she does her sums, might think the average donation wasn't much when most donating parents have given a fiver, and some even a tenner?

FacebookAnonymous Mon 24-Jun-13 17:48:35

Last year my kids painted jam jars and filled them with wild flowers (mainly daisies, buttercups and weeds grin ) But I do think their teachers appreciated them. This year I'm going to do some shortbread - I don't really care if it's gets chucked in the bin cos I know some teachers don't eat home made stuff but I hope they'll realise that we appreciate them.

ArthurSixpence Mon 24-Jun-13 17:51:15

Do people really not eat homemade stuff? <Sighs>

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 17:51:52

If people decline to join in the collection then I have no idea whether it's through choice/financial constraints etc but that shouldn't stop me and other parents from donating and signing a card. No-one is made to feel bad about not donating. And yes, my dd often does make something for her teacher herself.

ApocalypseThen Mon 24-Jun-13 17:53:12

I'm totally behind you here, Queen Cadbury. Let the losers who can't afford anything go to hell. Certainly their children's blushes shouldn't be spared in any way. They should get used to being excluded for financial reasons. How will they learn otherwise?

phantomnamechanger Mon 24-Jun-13 17:53:17

Wow QC, so some parents might want to do their own thing, maybe even buy swanky posh showy gift for their Dc to present to the teacher, thats fine. But what about the child whose family is having to choose between spending that £5 on fruit and veg, or donating to the teacher, just so their kid is not left out. The teacher will be more aware than perhaps you are of who is in this position and yes, it IS penalising the children and making them a possible target for ridicule or being ostracised. How can you not see that? However, I also agree that if that child makes a home made card and writes a little message, along with a thank you from the parent, that will mean heaps more than any amount of vouchers, bouquets and wine. Really it will.

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 17:54:16

I'm sure teachers do cherish homemade gifts just as I would if I were a teacher but I hope that they also appreciate the gift that is essentially from the parents.

phantomnamechanger Mon 24-Jun-13 17:56:27

AT please tell me thats a joke!

ApocalypseThen Mon 24-Jun-13 17:56:37

Yes, they probably like the idea of the landfill fodder but secretly really like the really good stuff from the parents.

FacebookAnonymous Mon 24-Jun-13 17:56:44

To be honest I'm a bit funny about homemade stuff when we get pressies at work. I know 'my' kitchen is reasonably hygenic but the people eating my shortbread might not wink

I don't think it's a stretch to assume that the only people who believe that being subtley pressurised into donating money are the people who organise the collections, and the terminally ineffiecient who can't be organised/arsed to sort a present. The majority of other people just feel slightly pissed off that uber mums with their email lists set themselves up as present monitors.

pigletmania Mon 24-Jun-13 17:56:58

The teacher will not care one jot. As others have said she will love the card more tan te present

ApocalypseThen Mon 24-Jun-13 17:57:49

Course it is, Phantom. The whole idea of distributing stickers so that the proper credit for presents can be micromanaged is ghastly.

GiveMumABreak Mon 24-Jun-13 17:59:54

Not everybody likes to be asked to make a contribution - there are some very negative threads on here about it!

I know it can be really hard work for those mums who offer to do collections and buy the gifts, and I'm sure the teacher will be delighted with gift and really touched by the thoughtfulness and hard work put in!

I wouldn't give it a second thought, let all the kids sign the card, the teacher definitely won't be making sums. She will know not everybody will have contributed, of course (shell treasure a card with the whole classes names on! she will also approve of the fact that kids weren't excluded from signing card IYSWIM)

I personally don't go in for contributions but like to do my own thing (something my DD helps choose or craft)

ArthurSixpence Mon 24-Jun-13 18:00:25

Do you know what, QueenCadbury, I was a teacher, and I got some right old toot. I remember the tie I got from one girl in my form who I'd had quite a lot of run-ins with. That meant a lot to me. She must be in her mid-twenties now. Thanks for the blue tie, Natalie.

But the rest of it is just 'meh' - it's clearly from the parents, and it's just stuff, you know? Stuff I had to cart to my car and find a space for at home. I liked the cards, but if there were names missing, and I knew it was because of some system like you have, I'd be mortified.

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 18:01:16

And why should I be penalised by having money to not donate to get a present for the teacher?

ArthurSixpence Mon 24-Jun-13 18:02:44

Not sure I can make sense of your last post, QC.

If you value the teacher's input at more than £5, why don't you give more than £5?

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 18:05:32

After 3 years, I'm sure all of the parents in our class are able to say no if they don't wish to contribute.

grin at myself being present monitor this year. It beats hassling parents to help with the summer fair!

ApocalypseThen Mon 24-Jun-13 18:07:52

I think she wonders why she should be penalized for having loadsamoney to contribute by having to share the credit with, well, you know...

FacebookAnonymous Mon 24-Jun-13 18:08:09

'And why should I be penalised by having money to not donate to get a present for the teacher?'

I don't understand ? In what way are you penalised? Is it because if you don't get to present the big present you don't get the glory ? hmm

xTillyx Mon 24-Jun-13 18:08:17

The more I read, the more I think if you're doing a collection then maybe just give them the gift and say it's from some of the parents as they appreciate her hard work. Let the kids make/buy their own cards or get one as planned and just let all of them sign. Teacher will probably get lots of cards that have been scribbled on the back of work sheets/colouring pages/scrap paper throughout the day if they are young children.lol

FacebookAnonymous Mon 24-Jun-13 18:10:13

Ahhh - the poor people?

OwlinaTree Mon 24-Jun-13 18:11:44

Lolling so much at ArthurSixpence's colour pen system to inform the parents of donations!!!

I hate the idea of parents feeling they have to buy the teacher a present. It should be optional if people want to, but all the cards etc in the shops make it look like you have to, like teachers expect it!

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 18:13:30

It's £5 because that what we all agreed on 3 years ago and everyone that contributes is happy. There's no guns held to our heads making us donate. We are adults and can say no. There's no bitchiness or sneering if people say no. Most are actually appreciative that someone in the class can be arsed to do it. And no, it's not just the same person. Whoever wants to can organise it. It may be different in other classes but these are the parents i've been with for 3 years and it works for us.

For goodness sake, we just want to get the teacher a sodding present. The majority of us can't be arsed to think about what to buy, we want to give a voucher for her to treat herself to something nice as well as all the homemade stuff that our dc may or may not give too. Is that so bad?

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 18:16:33

It's nothing to do with glory. Someone asked me why the people that can't afford it should be penalised. I just mean that I can afford it and I want to donate so I shouldn't feel penalised for doing so.

intheshed Mon 24-Jun-13 18:18:07

QC, I think it's the stickers people are mainly objecting to. The thought of them being doled out at the school gate to the chosen few. I have to say, a card full of stickers each with a name hastily scribbled on wouldn't mean that much to me.

It's a can of worms and I am glad the parents at DD's school can't be arsed haven't started something like this!

FacebookAnonymous Mon 24-Jun-13 18:22:52

If you want to 'donate' then buy your own present and stop asking other people for money. Because no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise, there are many, many presents, including those who CAN afford it, who resent being asked to contribute but who feel pressurised to do it.

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